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Problems in the bedroom... Looking for some help

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  • Problems in the bedroom... Looking for some help

    I've been with my girl for six months now. Normally, we have a pretty damn good sex life. We had a mind blowing sex session earlier this week.

    The problem is, the next couple days afterwards, I couldn't... get it up

    This could be one of two things; the first time, when I pulled her towards me to eat her out, her leg kinda hit me in the face. We laughed at it, and tried to do it afterwards, but that moment was a real boner killer. The second time, we had a really bad fight the whole day, and we tried having sex right after we made up. We were kissing passionately and sweating and just going at it, but I couldn't get it up. Maybe the fight really stressed me out? She thought it was her, and was really beat up about it, but I reassured her that it wasn't her fault. It really isn't her. I just don't know what's going on with me lately. Now, if we attempt having sex again and I can't get it up for a third time, she's really going to think something's wrong and it could damage our relationship.

    I haven't had this problem since we first started dating, and that's only because we were both nervous and anxious because we haven't had sex in such a long time. I'm not thinking about anybody else. I'm not lusting over anybody else. I use the same condoms so it can't be that. I stopped watching porn as much as I did before I was dating her, but even when I do watch on occasion, I can still get it up and have sex when I see her again.

    Does anybody have any advice on the matter?



    Last edited by Other Paw; January 12th, 2019, 02:38 AM.

  • #2
    She is habitual for the sex with you. You must try to enforce once more than one in a week.

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    • #3
      Sounds like a lot of pressure. I think you both pride yourself a bit too much in the sex dept. Relax a bit more and don't let sex be the focus all the time.

      If you really think a woman who's serious about you would get hung up about something so trivial, this isn't the right woman for you and maybe this is your subconscious telling you that you're not really comfortable around her or you don't really know each other very well.
      Last edited by Rose Mosse; January 12th, 2019, 11:41 PM.

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      • #4
        I agree with Rose.
        Relationships are about a whole lot more than "just" sex. If you're getting so hung up on this, it makes me wonder if you're connecting with your partner on other areas too.

        Be what it may, one time you got a knee to your face and the other time you had just been fighing all day. I for one do not like make up sex. Even if you've made up, the angry or hurt emotions are still lingering and they take some time to settle.
        Take the pressure off. Just have fun together and if sex happens, it happens. The more you stress yourself out, the more likely it is you'll have the same problem again.
        You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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        • #5
          I agree with the others that you are both far too focused on sex. What about love and affection? What about just being close and going out to dinner and the movies? What about long talks? It all just seems to be aout the sex for you guys and it seems if you don't have that then you basically have nothing. There is more to a relationship than sex, which should come naturally.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Rose Mosse View Post
            Sounds like a lot of pressure. I think you both pride yourself a bit too much in the sex dept. Relax a bit more and don't let sex be the focus all the time.

            If you really think a woman who's serious about you would get hung up about something so trivial, this isn't the right woman for you and maybe this is your subconscious telling you that you're not really comfortable around her or you don't really know each other very well.
            Originally posted by Ayla View Post
            I agree with Rose.
            Relationships are about a whole lot more than "just" sex. If you're getting so hung up on this, it makes me wonder if you're connecting with your partner on other areas too.

            Be what it may, one time you got a knee to your face and the other time you had just been fighing all day. I for one do not like make up sex. Even if you've made up, the angry or hurt emotions are still lingering and they take some time to settle.
            Take the pressure off. Just have fun together and if sex happens, it happens. The more you stress yourself out, the more likely it is you'll have the same problem again.
            Originally posted by Dazed & Confused View Post
            I agree with the others that you are both far too focused on sex. What about love and affection? What about just being close and going out to dinner and the movies? What about long talks? It all just seems to be aout the sex for you guys and it seems if you don't have that then you basically have nothing. There is more to a relationship than sex, which should come naturally.
            Thank you all for the comments. Don't get me wrong, the love and affection part is there. We go out to dinner, go to the city, have fun, etc. In that department, there's no problem. Even when we have our rough days and bitch at each other, at the end of the day, we've got each other and love each other dearly.

            It's just out of nowhere, I haven't been able to get it up for a few days. We don't have it every single day, but the last few times, when we try to, I haven't been able to perform. I tried to de-stress myself. I'm in good shape, I work out, eat right, and I don't smoke or anything. We had a great weekend with each other, but I couldn't do it for her today either. And now, she's getting a little testy and frustrated with me. She thinks it's her, or that I'm seeing somebody, or in love with somebody else -- none of which is true. I don't particularly know what the issue is.

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            • #7
              You're thinking too much about it and your paranoia about it has had a knock on effect. Relax and get your brain to realize that there is nothing wrong.

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              • #8
                You're right. My girlfriend and I are in a better place at the moment, and I'm going to try and relax more and chill. Thank you for the help. Hopefully, this works and things get back to normal between us in that department.

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