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Boyfriend says he doesn't masturbate.

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  • Boyfriend says he doesn't masturbate.

    So I live with a guy for couple years now and we've been dating for almost 5 years and he has a hard time showing and giving affection. WE never kiss, he never holds me or massage my body . I have to sneak in a hug when I can. He says he shows that he cares in other ways and his dad is same way. Well, we do have sex if you can believe that. Mostly its me initiating it with a blow job and it usually ends there. Rarely he will initiate touching me for a while then right to the penetration part., Its never been passionate or loving like I want it to be. Sounds like we are not a match right? Knowing this I , WE still continue on , neither of us have sex with other partners as far as I know. Im a very insecure person from bad past experiences with unfaithful partners so our relationship doesnt do much for my self esteem. Which may be why I just dont believe him when he claims he does not masturbate...EVER. I feel he is either ashamed to admit it or possibly telling the truth. I cant prove it either way but its really none of my business. I just do not think he is being truthful. So, my question is, Do you believe it or not ?

  • #2
    I think you have bigger issues than this.
    Why are you stuck on the question whether he masturbates or not? Whether it's true or not, it won't change much in the dynamic of your relationship. You'll still be in a relationship which lacks intimacy, kindness, warmth and mutually fulfilling sex.
    What are you doing about that?
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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    • #3
      Yes he is. All men masturbate but don't like to admit it or discuss it with their wives/girlfriends etc. It shouldn't bother you if he does. There's nothing wrong with it. If his lack of affection really bothers you then you need to talk to him about it. If he loves you then he should be willing to work on it.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Dazed & Confused View Post
        All men masturbate but don't like to admit it or discuss it with their wives/girlfriends etc.
        That is simply not true. While statistics do show that the majority of men masturbate, there is a certain percentage of men who don't masturbate due to either religious, moral or other type of beliefs, low libido, or because their marital sex life is satisfying enough as to not require engagement in masturbation.

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        • #5
          I had a girlfriend in high school who kept my appetite so full that I never needed to masturbate. Her motto was no wood should go wasted even a morning wood lol ...

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          • #6
            Originally posted by mia sohonie View Post
            So I live with a guy for couple years now and we've been dating for almost 5 years and he has a hard time showing and giving affection. WE never kiss, he never holds me or massage my body . I have to sneak in a hug when I can. He says he shows that he cares in other ways and his dad is same way. Well, we do have sex if you can believe that. Mostly its me initiating it with a blow job and it usually ends there. Rarely he will initiate touching me for a while then right to the penetration part., Its never been passionate or loving like I want it to be. Sounds like we are not a match right? Knowing this I , WE still continue on , neither of us have sex with other partners as far as I know. Im a very insecure person from bad past experiences with unfaithful partners so our relationship doesnt do much for my self esteem. Which may be why I just dont believe him when he claims he does not masturbate...EVER. I feel he is either ashamed to admit it or possibly telling the truth. I cant prove it either way but its really none of my business. I just do not think he is being truthful. So, my question is, Do you believe it or not ?
            My question is... why give a crap whether he jerks off or not? What has that got to do with your dismal emotional state. Are you hoping that he masturbates too much and therefore it would mean that the reason he doesn't much want sex with you is because he's satisfied himself by himself? You have bigger things to worry about like how you're feeling like he doesn't give a crap about you. Why do you stay with this guy? Is it for the financial aspect of things? Codependency? Fear? Love? Doesn't really matter WHY you do it just means that if you're going to stay with him then you learn to be happy with what you've accepted for yourself.

            "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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            • #7
              My husband says the same, but in my case he says that he does not feel the same when masturbating and it does not compares to real sex. He says that he has done it in the past, but now he does not see why. Maybe is the same with your s/o?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by mia sohonie View Post
                So I live with a guy for couple years now and we've been dating for almost 5 years and he has a hard time showing and giving affection. WE never kiss, he never holds me or massage my body . I have to sneak in a hug when I can. He says he shows that he cares in other ways and his dad is same way. Well, we do have sex if you can believe that. Mostly its me initiating it with a blow job and it usually ends there. Rarely he will initiate touching me for a while then right to the penetration part., Its never been passionate or loving like I want it to be. Sounds like we are not a match right? Knowing this I , WE still continue on , neither of us have sex with other partners as far as I know. Im a very insecure person from bad past experiences with unfaithful partners so our relationship doesnt do much for my self esteem. Which may be why I just dont believe him when he claims he does not masturbate...EVER. I feel he is either ashamed to admit it or possibly telling the truth. I cant prove it either way but its really none of my business. I just do not think he is being truthful. So, my question is, Do you believe it or not ?
                Do you masturbate?
                And do you tell him?
                Why do you think whether he does or doesnít is none of your business?
                Why do you initiate sex with a blow job when actually you crave more intimacy that that?
                By doing that you are skipping any chance you might have of erotic touch etc.
                What you are desiring from him , you are not giving to him. So donít be surprised when you go straight for his dick with your mouth that he goes straight to your vagina with his dick???!!

                Why do YOU not initiate foreplay? Yet expect him to?

                Of course he masturbates. Perhaps if you start being honest with him, he might respond with honesty.

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