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Sex with girlfriend is boring

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  • Sex with girlfriend is boring

    So i've been with my girlfriend for just over a year and things are great, except the sex is pretty boring for me. The problem is that every time we have sex it just always just ends up being the same thing with her lying on her back in the missionary position while I do all the work. This was fine for a while, but it's gotten pretty boring now and is a big turn off and sometimes I struggle to 'finish' because of this and I can tell she notices. I will also add that she seems to really enjoy it, which is part of the problem I suppose in a way.

    The strange thing is that sometimes we talked about trying more things and at the start of the relationship we did do it, but after about 6 months she just stopped wanting to. We have spent some time together looking some up and picking ones we think we would both like, but then when I suggest trying it she always says to do it next time instead. I've tried doing things like moving her into another positon but she just makes it plainly obvious that she doesnt want to move. We even tried things like couples phone apps that suggest things every day and at the time she seemed pretty interested. Maybe i'm just not trying hard enough during it, but she is my first sexual partner and to be honest I sometimes get nervous trying to get her to do new things.

    The second problem is that we use condoms because she is incredibly bad at ensuring she takes her pill on time and it was causing issues with her periods because of that. I dont mind too much because at least it's safe, but it really reduces the pleasure for me as well as breaks the flow of things. I'm not realy too sure if there is a solution to this though because when she was taking pill contraception she would sometimes forget for a day and not tell me, so the risk is too high for me.

    It's really starting to mess with my view of the relationship. She wants to have sex a lot, but because it's not so fun for me I keep putting it off because I know exactly what will happen. There just isnt any excitement in it anymore.
    I'm not really sure what to do. I wouldnt end the relationship over it, but it really feels like i'm missing out on something thats important in a relationship.

  • #2
    What do you mean "she makes it obvious that she doesn't want to move?" How does she make it obvious?

    What do you say to her when she says "do it that way next time?" Do you go ahead and just do it missionary style again or do you tell her "No, I'd like to try it this way now?" If you did say that, what do you think she would say?

    I have a feeling she can only cum doing it her way and so she is discouraging you to change it up. How about you try getting her off orally or with your digits and then once she's climaxed... you roll her over and do her anyway you want. Take charge and see whether or not she's open to it. (no forcing though, of course)

    Adding: Good on you for making sure you don't have an unplanned pregnancy by using rubbers. Keep it real and don't trust her with the pill.
    Last edited by phasesofthemoon; September 12th, 2018, 08:54 PM.
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


    • #3
      I agree, good thinking with using the rubbers.
      If you want to ditch them in the long run, talk to your girlfriend about getting an IUD or hormone implant. I've had an IUD for years and I'm very happy with it. It only needs replacement every 5 years.

      I for one can only orgasm during missionary, and it has to be a very specific position too, with my legs angled a certain way and feet flat down.
      Any other position won't cause an orgasm spontaneously.
      Ask your gf if that's also the case with her. It could explain why she doesn't want to move.
      Maybe you could make sure that she's already had an orgasm early on, so she'll be less focussed on her own pleasure and be more willing to spice it up.
      You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf


      • #4
        Missionary definitely does nothing for me, personally.

        OP, that's unfortunate. Obviously she's a turn off if she can't be relied upon to take the pill every day and lies there like a dead fish. She sounds plain lazy to me and she's not putting in enough effort in your relationship. I'd say talk it out together and explain to her how it makes you feel. You should tell her why you feel lackluster. She may not even realize how lazy she's become over time or inconsiderate. Talk together. Beyond that and if she really looks like she doesn't care about what you think or feel, I'm not sure this is the right person for you.