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My bf doesn't want to have sex with me because I bleed!!

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  • My bf doesn't want to have sex with me because I bleed!!

    I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now and we are quite happy with our relationship. However during this 4 months, we only had sex once. And that was 3 months ago. When we started dating, he used to initiate sex and intimate actions but he stopped doing that about 2 months ago. We tried having sex multiple times but I'm always bleeding (I was a virgin) so we didn't continue. Even though we had sex once after trying couple of times, and we tried again after that, but I'm still bleeding so he didn't want to continue.

    I talked to him about it and he said he's afraid of me bleeding again and that he has a blood phobia. He stopped being intimate with me (no kisses, no touching excepting holding hands and cuddling and nothing sexual at all) the most I probably got from him is a peck on the forehead?????

    I am beyond confused about him loving him. He says he loves me but I honestly can't feel it and obviously this no sex life is making me feel worse. I talked to him about it but he said there's nothing he can do lol. It's not like i can magically stop bleeding when there's penetration too. And I feel like he might cheat on me because I'm not having sex with him. I know he has a high sexual drive (he used to tell me that before we started dating and he was always horny during our first month together) but everything just changed after we tried multiple times and I just kept bleeding.

    What should I do? Should I try initiating sex with him? Please give me some advise thank you!!

    ps: I'm 21 and he's 22.

  • #2
    It sounds like your boyfriend is kind of an ass.

    He has a blood phobia. Really? How ridiculous. Sex is messy. If he can't get over that, he shouldn't be having it in the first place.
    And then there are these vague threats that he has a high sex drive and is always horny, so he might cheat.

    Try dumping this one and finding a boyfriend with the emotional maturity of something more than a grapefruit.
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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    • #3
      You're still very young and impressionable. I don't think it's the phobia itself that's of any concern but what you feel when you are around him and the way he makes you feel. I just want to add to Ayla's comments which I agree with. Don't let a man treat you like this and don't begin for one second to believe it's the norm. Remember always that it's your body as a woman and you ought to own it and love yourself and your body. We create our own norms and we choose the people we want in our lives. Be careful the people you have around you because they will shape you in the long term. Surround yourself with positive people who respect you and respond and venerate your thoughts and actions, who care about your wellbeing and who will tell you the straight truth because you deserve nothing less. Never accept another person's view of what you are worth. You should know that inside yourself and be willing to tap into it and have the strength to reject negativity around you.

      What disturbed me was that one line where you mentioned you're afraid he might cheat on you. That suggests that he's superficial and thoughtless enough to betray your trust in a relationship due to his own set back. If it does bother him so much, I hope (for your sake) that he has enough courage to end the relationship with you and you have enough strength to see the situation for what it is and not beg a man to be with you when he clearly does not want to be with you in the first place.

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      • #4
        I had this problem with the first guy I was with as a virgin in my early 20s. He was very well endowed so I thought that was the problem was my tightness. Every time we had sex, the sheets were a very bloody mess, but it didn't bother him he would even joke about it. Years and more men later, I realized the real problem was that I wasn't properly lubricated back then. He was a 2 minute-man, and just never took the time to get me ready. Does he perform oral on you to orgasm? I promise if you do that, you will be well lubricated, and you shouldn't bleed. If he's not willing to do that, go get yourself the slipperiest lube KY or another brand you can find, and see if that helps. If it still is a problem, please see your GYN to make sure there is no internal genital issue,
        Last edited by ImUrGRL; September 16th, 2018, 03:22 PM.

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