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Sheís not in to it - how do I deal with it?

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  • Sheís not in to it - how do I deal with it?

    Firstly Iím fully aware that this is MY issue, not hers. So the onus is on me to find a solution.

    Iíve been with her for a number of months and pretty much in love. Our sex life is great except for one thing. I love anal sex and she doesnít. Let me clarify, I more than love it. It could probably be accurately described as an obsession. With previous partners they were always in to it to some degree.

    But my current OH is not a fan. Sheís never tried it purely because she doesnít like the idea. Of course thatís her choice and although weíve talked about it I respect her stance. Sheís not interested in even having me ďplay aroundĒ down there but again, itís her body and she decides what does and doesnít happen to it.

    Thatís all very well however...my needs and urges are still there. Now thereís no way on earth Iím going to cheat on her and neither would I end the relationship on the basis of her not being able to give me it.

    Again I reiterate that if anything is to be done itís to be done by me - she does not need to change to accommodate my desires.

    So what can I do? Itís a little bit more than a ďput up and shut upĒ situation unfortunately...

  • #2
    Why not try experimenting with toys or new sexual kinks instead. If she doesn't want to do it then that's that. Do t pressure her into it because you risk of becoming an act of violation if she does eventually bow to the pressure. Find something else new and exciting that you can both enjoy. Otherwise you have to really put some thought into how you feel about her and decide whether resisting your desire for this particular sexual act is worth staying with her

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    • #3
      Are you bi-sexual or have you ever been sexually abused by a male? It seems a tad over-the-top to NEED to put yourself in someone's a-hole.

      If you have an obsession to do it then I suggest, if you're going to stay with this one that you get therapy to help you overcome your addiction to it otherwise you're chances of letting your 'need' for it overtake your ability to be monogamous is much higher.

      In the meantime, maybe you can show her how much fun it is by putting a dildo up your own bung hole and showing her how great it is.?????
      Last edited by phasesofthemoon; August 25th, 2018, 01:04 PM.
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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      • #4
        I hear you. Iím all about it and my partner, who is by all accounts a complete whore, wonít let me up her back door. Sheís done it a handful of times in the past and always hated it. Itís pretty much become my life goal to get it in her ass. I hope after some time together she lets me have a go. Definitely the best way to warm her up is by tongue punching her fartbox whenever youíre down there and working up to fingers. Eventually buy a butt plug and see if sheíll let you fuck her vag with the plug in her ass. Once sheís comfortable with the plug it should be easy enough to convince her to let you smash her chocolate starfish

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        • #5
          There's nothing wrong with wanting to experiment or wanting some variety in your sex life.
          However, whenever something becomes a "need" or an "obsession", it's time to look for some professional help.
          Have you considered talking to a counselor?
          You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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          • #6
            I think this dude is a troll. He's posted something similar under a different name before.
            "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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