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ED problems at the beginning of a relationship

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  • ED problems at the beginning of a relationship

    Hi everyone,

    I have ED issues at the beginning of a relationship. I found a fantastic woman and I am dearly in love with her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. For about a week now, we had quite steamy sex sessions, although I have difficulties getting and maintaining an erection. I know it's not physical because I can get an erection quite easily, sometimes just sitting next to her is enough! I took a viagra pill once, and that did work but only for that one time. Also, I have not been able to get an orgasm with her yet.

    I am divorcing from a marriage of 15 years. On one side, I shouldn't be that worried because exactly the same happened with my soon-to-be-ex-wife 15 years ago, and the problem resolved in a few weeks. The next 2 years after that were great sexually and we were making love almost every day; the relationship started deteriorating after those 2 years, but that's another story.

    On the other side, I want the best relationship possible for my new partner and myself. Both for her and me, sex is important but neither of us would leave the other because of sexual difficulties. I am very open about my problem and insecurities, and she is very understanding and supportive.

    Sometimes I feel I am overdoing this desire to have the best relationship possible and putting too much pressure on myself. Maybe I'm overdoing it and it will resolve in time, just like in my previous relationship...

    Also, to be absolutely complete, I had some exposure to sexual abuse when I was a child (too much information too soon, we were naked on holidays, etc.) That messed up my early adult life, but I did a lot of work on myself and I believe most if not all of that is behind me. I think my problem now is mostly about performance anxiety...

    Any comment would be appreciated as I'm really anxious to get the best relationship possible with my new partner.

  • #2
    If you can't get your girl to orgasm then you need some more practice. I'm going to be straight forward with you an I hope you don't take anything what I have to say disgusting lol. If you won't be able to practice on her you gotta practice on yourself every other day, that's how I started. If you want her to orgasm you have to hold yourself from cumming, what I mean by this is when you're about to cum you have to stop yourself and not do anything at all so you can keep giving her pleasure, go nice and slow. Make sure you go hard and rough because that's how her pleasure will be released. The best thing you can do is talk to your partner about it, how she likes it, so you can get an idea of how she can orgasm. Before you cum make sure your partner does first. I'm not the guy to treat women as my own pleasurable toy so I like it to be fun for both. That's on you though don't over think it. Watch fifty shades of grey to have an idea of what rough means, cause then she'll find that sexy af

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    • #3
      I think you should go to a doctor and do some bloodwork. If you are that concerned about your sexual performance, don't be wishy washy and lazy about it. Ask to have your hormone levels tested and check in on any health issues you may have and talk to your dr about any anxiety issues.

      Health is everything. If you're not taking care of yourself and your diet and have a bad habit eating junk food for example, your body isn't going to respond optimally. Diets rich in sugar and carbs will cause fatigue and mental cloudiness. Your faculties won't be all there and you won't be able to manage anxieties either. Make sure you're not bypassing this and overlooking the obvious.

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      • #4
        Op are you saying YOU have not been able to reach orgasm with her or it's HER that hasn't been able to reach orgasm (or the two of you are sans orgasms?)

        You're not yet divorced. Maybe that has something to do with your inability to get where you need to be? How long have you dated this woman and how long have you and your wife been living apart?
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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