No announcement yet.

My first GF (lost virginity to her) says sex hurts her ...need help

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • My first GF (lost virginity to her) says sex hurts her ...need help

    Ok, so I am a 24 year old male. My current gf (also 24) was my first time. She didnít have sex until she was 22 with a previous bf. Since then, she hasnít had sex a lot and is about as clueless as I am. We are doing a long distance thing now so we canít see each other all the time. She told me over the phone that she just doesnít have a high sex drive and that she doesnít even masturbate. She says sex (in any position) really hurts her and she thought before about going to the dr to get it checked out. She says she might just be ďsmall and tightĒ and that may very well be the case (sheís like 5í , 100 lbs) and it may be that she is ďsmall and tightĒ and that we may need to do more foreplay and I may need to go down on her. Her other bfs werenít that serious and may not have tried as hard to pleasure her and now think she gets nervous about sex bc she thinks it will always hurt...:I donít think thereís anything wrong with her and bc sheís so small we just need to use lube and a lot of foreplay and I may need to go down on her and just get her relaxed and wet before pain-free sex is possible for her....does anyone have any advice on this? I really like her and want to make this work and I want to have a healthy sex life with her...please any advice is appreciated , I donít know what im doing lol

  • #2
    Learn how to go down on her - and well. Try some different things and ask her what feels good and what she wants while you're doing it. If you can get her feeling good, maybe you'll have an easier time with sex. I'm sure she'll appreciate it too and it will make her feel closer to you intimately to know you care about her pleasure just as much.


    • #3
      Really great that you're conscious of her pleasure!

      Sex can hurt for a variety of reasons, physical or psychological. I think it's important she goes to the doctors to rule out any health issues. Are her periods severe? Or does she experience abdominal pain in general? Either way, a GP can help identify the issue, including if it's psychological. Does it hurt when she pleasures herself or just during sex?

      Sex used to be incredibly painful and uncomfortable for me and that changed when I started having sex with my current partner. I realised I subconsciously did not want to have sex with previous partners so it was painful. I'm completely comfortable and in love with my boyfriend and everything about sex has felt easy and enjoyable. It was that simple for me.

      However, it might be that her experiences have been so difficult that even sex with someone she truly wants to be with might still hurt. The most important thing is you're able to talk to each other honestly about it and to not take it personally if she wants to avoid sex to avoid pain. Take things slowly and be considerate and caring. Make sure she knows there's no pressure