Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

'Young' 62 year old guy looking for advice

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • 'Young' 62 year old guy looking for advice

    I met my partner, a beautiful 48 year old black woman, completely by chance in March 2017. I wasn't looking for a relationship, I had accepted that I was probably going to be on my own, and I wasn't unhappy about that as I have a good life. Well, she has made it even better, and I want to completely satisfy her in bed, which I have been unable to do, due to an erectile dysfunction problem that I've had for many years. I have had counselling for it and was still unable to properly get an erection.
    My partner and I love each other, and we are committed to being together. A couple of weeks ago, when we were involved in sex play, she told me that she had thought she could manage without full sex, but she couldn't. Her solution is that I find someone that I am happy with to fulfil the function of having full sex with her on an occasional basis. I have to choose the person and I have to be present.
    Having considered this for several days I am willing to go along with it or at least give it a try. I want her to be fully satisfied, and if I can't do that, I want to make it happen for her.
    Obviously this situation would need to be carefully managed. She's 48, but looks about 35, and she turns heads. We are, however, very close and I would go so far as to say that we're soulmates. We live 90 miles apart in England and see each other a couple of times a month, with many long phone calls in between.
    Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
    Thank you.

  • #2
    Hi gf

    Well, your story certainly isn't commonplace! I feel a lot of love and respect in your writing, from both of you: she has specific needs that she feels free to talk about, and you are able to hear them and are willing to try anything. That's a very fundamental and essential basis for any kind of solid relationship.

    Now the kind of arrangement you are considering is quite special in our occidental societies, but not so much in Africa (and as you say she is black, it might be she has grown up with an African cultural background). So what may seem dangerous and unconventional to us might very well sound very normal to her... Have you talked to her about that in particular, namely the discrepancy between the occidental view on shared partners and her positioning? This would be the easiest way to feel safer and reassured.

    Next I think you are right by saying that this should be managed carefully. Sex and romantic views are closely linked, and the first may as easily lead to the second as the other way round. What do you think should your criteria be for the choice of your "third significant other"? Would you choose one partner, thus providing stability and avoiding health issues ; or rather different partners, thus avoiding any kind of attachment? How should he look, how old? Have you talked to your lover about details yet? Because the chosen man/men would have to be attractive to her, or she would not enjoy sex with them.

    Last: you are living quite far apart... As she is your soulmate, have you considered moving to her, or she to your place?

    Comment


    • #3
      Op: I can see you getting your heart shredded.

      Before you agree to being her cuckholded boyfriend have you tried everything you can to rectify your problem?

      You say you got counseling for your ED. Have you seen a medical doctor about this? What is the physiological reason for your ED? Have you tried Viagara?
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

      Comment


      • #4
        It's lovely that you've met someone you love so much and are willing to do anything for. However, are you really happy with this? Is it going to cause you pain to see her having sex with someone else? Being in the same room serves what purpose? Does she want you to join in? Or is it for exhibitionist reasons?

        I understand that she has sexual needs but couldn't you try playing with toys? If it's the penetration she's after, wouldn't having you use toys with her be enough? It seems like an extreme solution without trying these things first.

        If you're sure you've explored all other options and you're both happy with the arrangement then it's really up to you. Just make sure you really are okay with it or you're going to get hurt and possibly start resenting her.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by phasesofthemoon View Post
          Op: I can see you getting your heart shredded.

          Before you agree to being her cuckholded boyfriend have you tried everything you can to rectify your problem?

          You say you got counseling for your ED. Have you seen a medical doctor about this? What is the physiological reason for your ED? Have you tried Viagara?
          This ^^
          Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

          Comment


          • #6
            That is really good that you have met someone you love too much and is willing to do anything for. But see erectile dysfunction at your age is totally normal. Every men of your age is going through this issue. This issue don't have a cure, but it is treated with medicine like sildenafil.

            Comment


            • #7
              You can also try Caverta 100 mg ( http://www.genericviagrakart.com/caverta.aspx ) Medication. As it has sildenafil in it. This Medication work by eliminating the main factor behind poor erection i.e. sluggish supply of blood. After taking this pill orally, the primary active element, Sildenafil citrate, starts with its function to restrict PDE5 enzyme’s activity. Suppressing this natural enzyme raises the levels of nitric oxide and cGMP in the body.

              Comment

              Working...
              X