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Having second thoughts about a friends with benefits relationship

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  • Having second thoughts about a friends with benefits relationship

    I meant this guy in a online chat room 1 year ago. We became good friends. But now we've decided to be FWB. I found out that he's married 3 months ago. But still the sexual attraction was still so strong. So that's when we decided to have this kind of hook up thing. I'm worried because he seems jealous of other guys,tells me I can own his winky,that he's thinking of me and needs to hear from me a million times a day or seems like it. All this and we haven't even hooked up yet. I know what the limits are in this situation and he says that he does too. But I'm not so sure. I'm not a home wrecker. Do you think he's interested in more than sex? I'm not at all. Can this workout? I know I'm setting myself up to be judged. I appreciate any feedback at all! Thanks
    Last edited by Openmindedgurl; March 4th, 2018, 01:05 PM.

  • #2
    If he said you can own his body, then tell him you'll be over to his house tonight to stake your claim.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      Yeah maybe he would regret telling me that. He got upset when I told him maybe he could own my va Jay Jay. Then saying it's ok if he can't. Feeling really uncomfortable.
      Last edited by Openmindedgurl; March 4th, 2018, 01:11 PM.

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      • #4
        Tell him to put his wife on chat, you want to see if she approves of you and your va jay jay.

        P.s. Don't be a payless hooker ffs. Find a single guy to have casual sex with and stop encouraging Mr.Winky. You're coming across as a desperate twat.
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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        • #5
          Thanks I appreciate your honesty. Starting to think he's just a manipulator. He tells me he loves his wife, but then he says he's so into me. I know how this sounds. He pursued me . How am I the desperate one? I did ignore his texts for awhile because I had been rethinking this fwb situation with him. But he started calling me . Then showed up at my work ugh. Convincing me that we are friends first. Sweet talking me etc. So I gave in and said we could hook up. I'm definitely not a hooker and not in love with being someone's mistress either.

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          • #6
            You're the "desperate one" because anyone that wasn't desperate would have told him to fuck off and put the focus back on his wife.
            "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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            • #7
              Before we decided to be FWB. He was already trying to find someone to cheat with. I don't get it because he told me that him and his wife have sex. Trying to figure out why he's so bent on having a fwb with me anyway. But I know if I told him to fuck off at least it won't be me. I get it. I seem to attract married guys but I've been lucky enough to find out before it became a physical thing.

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              • #8
                Oh my my my how come I never meet these chicks?
                There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others.

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                • #9
                  I've always been able to dump a married guy before it turned into a affair. It isn't like I'm looking for guys that are attached. I am definitely not that kind of girl.
                  Last edited by Openmindedgurl; March 4th, 2018, 10:40 PM.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Openmindedgurl View Post
                    Thanks I appreciate your honesty. Starting to think he's just a manipulator. He tells me he loves his wife, but then he says he's so into me. I know how this sounds. He pursued me . How am I the desperate one? I did ignore his texts for awhile because I had been rethinking this fwb situation with him. But he started calling me . Then showed up at my work ugh. Convincing me that we are friends first. Sweet talking me etc. So I gave in and said we could hook up. I'm definitely not a hooker and not in love with being someone's mistress either.
                    Just remember what he's doing to his wife behind her back; he will be sneaky behind your back, too. He'll make sure your turn is next. He betrays his wife and he will betray you, too. Beware. A leopard cannot change its spots. It's the same as this example: Your friend gossips to you about a person, mutual friend or someone else. Your friend will gossip about you behind your back. You are fair game and will become his next victim. Since ignoring didn't work, explain that you're ending communication with him. Be polite. If that doesn't work, be firm and cease all contact. Hopefully, he'll get the message loud and clear.
                    "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Openmindedgurl View Post
                      I've always been able to dump a married guy before it turned into a affair. It isn't like I'm looking for guys that are attached. I am definitely not that kind of girl.
                      You are desperate. You aren't seeking guys that are attached but clearly your online profile is enticing. An easy target.
                      Especially for married men because your online profile or persona suggests you are up for casual. A married man does not pursue a challenge. So yes he pursued you.

                      You have "always" been able to dump a married guy before it turned into an affair????
                      How many married men have you "dated "?

                      Why are you not getting to know people before you date them? How far in to dating them do you generally discover they are married?

                      You said you became good friends with this latest guy over a year??? Describe good friends? You met his family? Went to his home? Really????

                      You will never own mr winky! It belongs to the dickhead attached. Only.

                      Stop making a fool of yourself , ask a gf to honestly look at how you act online and get her to edit.

                      If you are not that "kind of girl" then stop acting like one.



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                      • #12
                        This is more common than most of us would like to think. Stay away from the married man. You don't even sound like you can handle the weight on your conscience let alone sustain such a relationship. I do believe karma does come back with a vengeance. If you're ready to open that black vortex up, you've got no one but yourself to blame for all the ensuing chaos that comes with it. Good luck.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Openmindedgurl View Post
                          Before we decided to be FWB. He was already trying to find someone to cheat with. I don't get it because he told me that him and his wife have sex. Trying to figure out why he's so bent on having a fwb with me anyway. But I know if I told him to fuck off at least it won't be me. I get it. I seem to attract married guys but I've been lucky enough to find out before it became a physical thing.
                          Where are you finding these married men?
                          Married men only want to screw women who aren't wanting commitment. Why are you afraid of commitment? You are you know if you keep attracting men who can't commit.
                          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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