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Fixation on Affair

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  • Fixation on Affair

    Hi I made this account to write this. For the past week I have this mental craze to have sex with another woman. I love my wife, she is so hot, sweet and caring. We have a child with another on the way as well. Why the hell do i feel like this? I canít even focus on anything else and itís driving me crazy. I will never tell me wife this.

    So here is what gets me. I would be so down and depressed if my wife felt this way about me. I donít want a double standard so thatís why i am writing this. I need some outlet. Me and my wife have sex, Iíd say 2-3 times a week. It used to be after we have sex Iíd be satiated for awhile mentally about other women but now I still want other women even after having sex.

    I sound like such a bad guy too because it makes no sense, happy marriage, we both have the same goal, we both agree on finances and everything. I just canít get the idea of being with another woman out of my head. Literally just sex. Nothing else.

    I get it. ďYou have it made! Donít muck it up because of your second brainĒ

    For those that would issue those comments to me. Do you not think I have thought that through? If there are any women or men who have felt this way about your partner and got over the feeling. Please discuss. I need some serious help. I donít want to cheat, I just want to get these thoughts out of my head.

  • #2
    How old are you? What kind of relationship/ sex history do you have? I felt like this with my first relationship. When that ended I had a handful of flings. Then when I met my current girl I realised she was the hottest and better in many ways than the others hence I stuck around. If you've still got those feelings and you've had a reasonable amount of sexual partners then I'd practise gratitude. Instead of toying with thoughts of other women. Think about what you love about yours. Sounds weird but dwell on things that make you feel jealous about her. E.g.. past partners, men who want her. For me that sparks appreciation anyway.


    • #3
      Mr Bean, I have had no past sexual encounters, same with her. ďHigh schoolĒ sweethearts if you will. I am 21 years old. I love her very much, I let her know that all the time. She is so sweet. I have to have an inner council with myself at times to try and curb the feeling. Itís not even being ďhornyĒ either, I rarely am. Itís this feeling that I need to impregnate many many women. It sounds ridiculous and it is really. I said this occurred about a week ago but thatís just when I got this feeling again, as I have had it before. When i get it, I canít seem to think about anything else. Just gotta stay positive and be appreciative as you stated.


      • #4
        Welcome to biology 101

        Men have an evolutionairy urge to spread their seed and impregnate as many women as they can with their offspring.
        This urge is strongest when men are in their sexual prime, between 18 and 25.
        This desire is embedded in your whole body. It's in your brain, it's in your hormones.

        Now, what distinguishes us from monkeys is that we, as humans, have an ability to choose not to follow our primal instincts.
        That's all it is, a conscious choice. You choose not to cheat because you know what you risk losing if you're found out.
        Maybe that's what you should focus on. Try to imagine a situation where your wife found out you had an affair. Imagine her heartbreak, her tears, how she'd cry herself to sleep. Imagine how she'd never be able to trust you anymore. Imagine how her self esteem would be destroyed and she'd start doubting herself constantly. Imagine her leaving you and taking your kids with her. Imagine her meeting someone else and your kids being raised by another man.

        If all that doesn't help you control the urges, then maybe you shouldn't be married at this point. Maybe you should get a divorce and spare your wife the pain and humiliation of being cheated on.
        You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf


        • #5
          Ayla that was so powerful. Well articulated. I need to think about it like that.