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Fiance has no interest in sex

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  • Fiance has no interest in sex


    So recently I've been having some issues with my fiance. We've been long distance for over a year now, and with lack of money and busy schedules, we only get to see each other in person about one weekend a month. On those weekends, the sex is great. However, the other 90% of the time we don't have a sex life at all. It's like as soon as we're not together, he becomes asexual. We're both in our 20s, and for me once a month is not enough!!! We've done sexting and video chat sex, but only a couple of times, and every time I try to initiate it he isn't in the mood, and he never initiates. Also I'll send him pictures all the time, and he never sends me anything back. We've talked about this several times and he always says that he'll try more, but it just never happens. I'm just getting really frustrated, I feel unattractive, and it's disheartening that he isn't really that interested in me. When I ask him directly if he's still attracted to me, he'll swear up and down that he is, but he still never asks for nudes or tries to video chat sex with me. I've basically given up at this point and started watching more porn instead. Is there anything else I can do?

  • #2
    Sexting and video chat sex are both basically verbal role playing which some people are not into especially if there's a language barrier, someone's not a writer(!) and hates writing or masturbating and coordinating a camera or simply doesn't have the time. What is your schedule like versus his? It sounds like you have more time on your hands (pun intended).


    • #3
      I think the best thing to do is just to sit him down and have a clear confrontation about it. Ask direct questions, don't work your way around the topic - just ask him 'why do I always have to initiate it every time, and when I do, you don't really seem all that into it?'. I'm undergoing a very similar problem myself, only it being that it isn't long distance and he just went asexual on me. (^: So I know how you feel, I've felt disheartened and my self esteem took a huge blow. It's been going on for almost half a year now, and it fucking sucks. It doesn't make you feel attractive or valued enough, and it's totally justified - you have every reason to be upset and insecure about it.

      If I were you, I would tell him exactly what you're feeling. How you've been affected by all this. My boyfriend was totally oblivious that it really looked like a lack of interest because he was stressed about work and wasn't focusing on us. Perhaps there something that is bothering him enough for him not to really give a priority to your sex life at the moment? Talk to him. Ask him. Don't be afraid. You're not fighting, you're speaking like proper adults one on one about what's going on and how it's affecting you. Best of luck!
      Last edited by MissTargaryen; February 25th, 2018, 07:55 PM.