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Boyfriend likes to use Craigslist personals for masterbation and attention...

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  • Boyfriend likes to use Craigslist personals for masterbation and attention...

    I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years now. About 6 months ago I picked up his phone I didnít even unlock the lock screen because honestly I wasnít trying to spy or anything and I saw about 5 messages from tinder. I got furious threw his phone down and freaked the fuck out. I did look at the messages they werenít sexual which I thought was weird. After it calmed down we talked about it and he said it was just for attention and that I had been emotionally distant lately. He said we didnít cuddle enough and he just wanted that closeness. After we worked that out I just didnít really trust him so I went through his phone and found much more disturbing stuff. Not only had he downloaded tinder but he had about 6 other apps he made profiles on. He had also messaged girls on Craigslistís personals under friends with benefits. I was devastated so I confronted him again and he said he just has really low self esteem and hates himself and thatís why he does it. I told him he needed to start therapy and get help for his self esteem issues. Now here we are about 3 months later and yesterday I look in his email and find he responded to a craigslist ad that had a subject friends with benefits saying ďI wanna do everythingĒ with a picture attached and his phone number. I confront him again and he says well itís just for masterbation I have never done anything physical with anyone. He said I donít do enough for him sexually.

    I canít put it all on him it takes two to tango. I donít really have much of a sex drive not really sure why. I am completely okay with having sex two to three times a week. Although lately we have gone through a dry spell because I have been having horrible cramping and bleeding pretty much every other week. Kind of hard to get in the mood when you feel like shit down there. I have been working on it and finally went to the doctor to find out whatís wrong. Itís been putting my spirits really low and I feel like this is just a kick in face...I feel I could put more effort in do more for him but Iím just not on the mood. And now knowing this I just feel a lot of resentment and distrust which makes it even harder for me to get in the mood. Maybe this is the end for us... I told him if I donít do it for him why are we together? He says he doesnít want to lose me but when why keep betraying me?


    I am at a complete loss of what to do. He doesnít treat me badly and he also feels so horrible afterwards... I love him but itís really fucking with my head.
    Last edited by Rainbow_unicorn36; February 17th, 2018, 05:51 PM.

  • #2
    Being on the same page physically is important in a relationship. Have the both of you always had such different sex drives? Is everything else in the relationship perfect? If communication was perfect He would have told you what he is feeling? Trust is also really important you cannot be with someone that you can not trust. Do you have the same dreams, vision for your future? Same diet, lifestyle, life philosophy (religion), do you both want/not want kids? etc etc Now you know why you are not feeling healthy down there is it fixable?

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    • #3
      I am at a complete loss of what to do
      Oh no, you know what to do you're just so low in self esteem that you won't do it and instead you stay with a cheating fucktard who doesn't value you. No wonder your self-esteem is so low, whose whouldn't be after finding out their supposedly exclusive boyfriend has an addiction to getting attention from other women.

      Dump him and once you've regained some of your self-worth and worked on your personal boundaries so you know you HAVE to leave assholes when they treat you like this, then and only then, start to date again and look for a good man worth being with. The douche you're with now isn't worth shit.
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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      • #4
        Welll thanks for the responses we have officially broke up. If what I wrote wasnít bad enough I dug even deeper to find that he had posted a craigslist personal of his own asking girls to come over and smoke weed with him and fuck him before he goes to work. The last girl he talked to was two days before Valentines Day... Iím devastatatd but Iím not going to allow this anymore!! To make matters even more complicated his dad and him live with me. So he is now my roommate and so is his dad. I just bought a house and I really canít afford it without him... what a fuckin nightmare!

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Rainbow_unicorn36 View Post
          Welll thanks for the responses we have officially broke up. If what I wrote wasnít bad enough I dug even deeper to find that he had posted a craigslist personal of his own asking girls to come over and smoke weed with him and fuck him before he goes to work. The last girl he talked to was two days before Valentines Day... Iím devastatatd but Iím not going to allow this anymore!! To make matters even more complicated his dad and him live with me. So he is now my roommate and so is his dad. I just bought a house and I really canít afford it without him... what a fuckin nightmare!
          Good for you for breaking up with him!
          This guy was a recipe for disaster.

          Get yourself some new roommates and kick douchbag and dad out of your place asap. He can't be around you if you're going to recover and get over him.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Ayla View Post

            Good for you for breaking up with him!
            This guy was a recipe for disaster.

            Get yourself some new roommates and kick douchbag and dad out of your place asap. He can't be around you if you're going to recover and get over him.
            What Ayla said ^

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            • #7
              8 years without any committment from him ?
              He was never going to commit to you so don't grieve the loss of what could have been because it was never going to happen anyway.

              He didnt want to lose you because he had his cake and eating it.
              Give him a few weeks notice to move out. Advertise your rooms to let.
              Take out a small personal loan if you need to cover a couple of months with no roommates.

              His loss is greater than yours.

              His behaviour and lack of respect has nothing to do with you. Rather than admit he's an asshoke he deflects and blames you.
              You are well rid of him!

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