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Are those scratches on my BF's stomach in shower video he sent me?

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  • Are those scratches on my BF's stomach in shower video he sent me?

    Hi. I'm new here and have a huge dilemma.

    My boyfriend is currently in Florida visiting his mother and sister. They live in a retirement community.

    He makes this trip once a year without me. I have my own girl's trip as well once a year. It's our only time apart as we always holiday together 2-3 times a year. I understand it's his family time.

    He is gone a total of 5 weeks and we are now at the halfway mark of his time away. He has been great at keeping in touch with me and communicating. He calls me once or twice everyday. He texts and Snapchats as well. He tells me misses me everyday and tells me all about what he's been doing and vise versa.

    On Saturday night we had a lot of sexy talk. He started to get horny. And on Sunday morning we had another sexual exchange as he was still very horny. He woke me up at 7 a.m. in fact so I realized quickly he was pretty excited that way. It was a great conversation, if you know what I mean.

    Fast forward to later in the day. He went to a matinee with his family and then a family birthday party in the evening so he wasn't in touch as much as usual. He text quickly to tell me they were heading to a movie and then briefly when he returned before leaving for the party. I hear again from him at around 11 pm and he asked if I tried to contact him because for some reason unknown to him, his wifi was turned off all evening. I did not try to contact him, knowing he was at a family function. It turns out he did not go to the party as he didn't like those relatives so his mother and sister went, but he hung back. He never mentioned the party at all. I had to ask him about how the night went. I thought that was odd.

    When we talked, I also noticed he went from horny beyond belief to nothing of the sort, all in the span of one day. It's like he cooled right off and I noticed the change right away. Not one word of his sexual urgency or not one attempt to initiate any kind of sexual innuendo like the night before and that morning. I guess I didn't understand how he could go from being so hot for me to no interest at all in the course of a day?

    Which prompted me to ask the question: did he jack off? Did he relieve himself sexually at some point during the day? He said no, that he was still horny as hell. So, why did his actions not match his words?

    At this point, I was upset with him because I just felt something was off. And that his behaviour had suddenly changed.

    He says I am paranoid and worry for no reason.

    But... fast forward to this morning. He made a video of himself playing in the shower. He said he did it for me, to cheer me up. He sent it. I viewed it and the first thing I noticed was what appeared to be several lines all over the left side of his stomach. I immediately broke down. I thought to myself if he had scratches, it would explain everything about yesterday. And I also thought, how STUPID could he be sending his GIRLFRIEND a video with such incriminating evidence on his body????

    I asked him about it and he denied any scratches on his body.

    I am wondering could they be shadows, bad lighting, hairs that are wet and look like lines? All I have is my mobile phone to view the video. I don't know if it's possible the video quality is just very poor?

    I'm not sure what to do or what to think. I have been a nervous wreck over it.

    I hate to think he's got someone down there for sexual relief while I am here at home being a good girl, loyal and faithful to him. I have a lot of opportunities, as I am attractive and younger and yet here I am waiting for him. And it kills me to think he cannot keep it in his pants for just 5 weeks!!?? He is in his mid 60's for God's sake! I am 40.

    I just don't understand it. It's beyond me. Are men not capable of controlling themselves for that short a time? Even if they manage to land an opportunity??

    He treats me well. Does all he can to keep me happy. He puts in the effort everyday. I don't get why he would treat me like a Princess and try so hard to keep me happy when he is out screwing random women? He has got the perfect girl, even by his own admission, sexually and otherwise. He says he'd never want to mess that up and lose me. But why the odd behaviour and the apparent scratches??

    ​​​​​​Can anyone advise what you think I should do???? I'm so devastated and I really don't know if it's in my head or not? But it's destroying me right now. To the point where I want to tell him never to contact me again. I need objective advice.














  • #2
    Originally posted by Daddysgirl View Post
    He treats me well. Does all he can to keep me happy. He puts in the effort everyday. I don't get why he would treat me like a Princess and try so hard to keep me happy when he is out screwing random women? He has got the perfect girl, even by his own admission, sexually and otherwise. He says he'd never want to mess that up and lose me. But why the odd behaviour and the apparent scratches??


    I nearly died when I read how old you are.

    What the hell are you going on about ?

    You have nothing but your own delusional, obsessive, distrusting personality to blame for your irrational behavior.
    By your own admission, he treats you like a princess, and now you're acting like one.

    I think your biggest issue is that he went on vacation for 5 weeks without you, and you can't handle it.
    You're trying to punish him indirectly for leaving you at home.

    My advice would be to get a grip on reality and grow up, otherwise he may just wise up and call you on your paranoia, by ending things with you.
    The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

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    • #3
      And besides you call yourself Daddysgirl, does that mean you would be the submissive one of the relationship? Have you got an exclusivity agreement?

      You have nothing but your own delusional, obsessive, distrusting personality to blame for your irrational behavior.
      By your own admission, he treats you like a princess, and now you're acting like one.
      And judging by that and your name I am thinking perhaps you are being a little crazy about it. You don't know what the "scratches" were if anything.

      If indeed you have a D/s relationship has there been boundaries established that he won't be with others?
      There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others.

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      • #4
        Hi, he is my boyfriend. Of course there is an exclusively agreement. That was the very first thing we established when entering into a relationship.

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        • #5
          [quote]He says I am paranoid and worry for no reason. [quote] I agree with him.

          Sorry, but you sound ridiculous with all of your suspicions. He probably jerked off and that's why he didn't need you to talk dirty to him. If you're so screwed up over the shower video then just ask him to show you his stomach over face-time or skype. If he refuses to then come back and we'll talk you down off the ledge you've climbed out onto.

          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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          • #6
            "Huge dilemma" ????

            My you are a drama queen!

            He was in the shower! Probably scratched himself while washing leaving temporary red marks. And after you accused him looks at his side and nope , nothing there lol

            Sounds like you have serious mistrust issues and only "trust" him when he checks in 24/7!

            Is that perhaps why you chose to date a man significantly older than you? Thinking it's a safe option re fidelity?

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            • #7
              If you're worried or paranoid about him, I think you should listen to your gut instincts. I don't know the back story here and you didn't mention anything about your history together or his romantic history or yours but I'm a firm believer that if you have suspicions about someone or if you feel uncomfortable about a situation, it's usually right. Whoever this guy is, he hasn't gained your trust. Either he doesn't deserve you or you don't deserve him. At the very bottomline, things will work themselves out for the better. I have stupid dry skin with some seasonal (very mild) eczema. When the water is hot or too warm my skin gets itchy and I scratch without thinking. I come out looking like I was possessed by a shower demon but my fiance knows I was just scratching in the shower by accident. I would say keep your reservations but hold your horses on total Armageddon style accusations. Just wait till he gets home and cool it for now.

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              • #8
                Is he taking Viagra? Lol. Sorry for that. Well I agree that you should listen to your gut feeling about this and confirm the marks/cuts. Hoppefully he just scratched himself but if they are deeper cuts then your suspicion is correct.

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