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Hi all! New to the forum, hope you guys can help in any way...
I recently started going out with a guy, on here I’ll call him Ian.
A bit of background on me and this situation - I'm gay, never had a relationship I would consider ‘serious’, but with Ian everything feels so nice and right. Which is also great, and I love every minute with him.
The one thing that bothers us both is that Ian doesn’t seem to be able to finish. We have good sex and both enjoy what we do together, however it gets to the point I’m about done but he can’t seem to finish with me. He’s said it’s an issue he’s always had with guys in the past, and he tells me with me it’s very different; he’s said he’s been very close, and how much he wants to finish with me. I believe that he wants this to happen - he gets very frustrated and upset with himself because he can’t seem to do it, and I get upset seeing him be almost angry at himself. I try to tell him it’s ok, and it really is, I would love for him to finish with me, but what’s more important to me is the time we spend together.
None of this is because he cant finish, he says he can do it himself when he’s masturbating, the only way he’s described it so far is that there’s some ‘mental block’, despite wanting to and even feeling like he’s come close to it.
Is this something that may come in time? He’s said he takes a bit longer than others to form what he feels to be a proper emotional attchhment. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months, and been ‘boyfriend official’ for just under one month, so part of me is thinking that he’ll eventually feel ‘comfortable’ enough with me to finish. Or is it soemthing that I may have to try and get him to speak to a professional about? I also don’t know if I’m worrying too much about it, I guess I’m quite sexual myself so I do try to get him to finish. It’s just, as he says, he can’t despite wanting to and feeling close to it.
Any suggestions? Is there anything I could say to him to help him understand a bit more that it isn’t something that bothers me, that of course I want to help him work with or talk about?
Dunno if I’m repeating myself too much or being clear but...I think I’ve described all I need to! Any advice or help greatly appreciated
I recently started going out with a guy, on here I’ll call him Ian.
A bit of background on me and this situation - I'm gay, never had a relationship I would consider ‘serious’, but with Ian everything feels so nice and right. Which is also great, and I love every minute with him.
The one thing that bothers us both is that Ian doesn’t seem to be able to finish. We have good sex and both enjoy what we do together, however it gets to the point I’m about done but he can’t seem to finish with me. He’s said it’s an issue he’s always had with guys in the past, and he tells me with me it’s very different; he’s said he’s been very close, and how much he wants to finish with me. I believe that he wants this to happen - he gets very frustrated and upset with himself because he can’t seem to do it, and I get upset seeing him be almost angry at himself. I try to tell him it’s ok, and it really is, I would love for him to finish with me, but what’s more important to me is the time we spend together.
None of this is because he cant finish, he says he can do it himself when he’s masturbating, the only way he’s described it so far is that there’s some ‘mental block’, despite wanting to and even feeling like he’s come close to it.
Is this something that may come in time? He’s said he takes a bit longer than others to form what he feels to be a proper emotional attchhment. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months, and been ‘boyfriend official’ for just under one month, so part of me is thinking that he’ll eventually feel ‘comfortable’ enough with me to finish. Or is it soemthing that I may have to try and get him to speak to a professional about? I also don’t know if I’m worrying too much about it, I guess I’m quite sexual myself so I do try to get him to finish. It’s just, as he says, he can’t despite wanting to and feeling close to it.
Any suggestions? Is there anything I could say to him to help him understand a bit more that it isn’t something that bothers me, that of course I want to help him work with or talk about?
Dunno if I’m repeating myself too much or being clear but...I think I’ve described all I need to! Any advice or help greatly appreciated
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