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I gave her an Open Relationship

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  • I gave her an Open Relationship

    Ive been with the same girl now for almost 2 years. She is a bit younger than I am (were in our 40's) and has a higher sex drive than me, so after talking about things for awhile I decided to let her have an open relationship, while I only see her. Well, eventually she met a guy at work and she hooked up with him about 6 months ago. After the first time she told me all about it and things seemed pretty decent. Eventually she hooked up with him again, and then eventually it was once a week. Now shes hooking up 2-3 times a week with him. 3 months ago she came home and told me that it was decided that she was going to "pretty much" cut me out of sex! I was reduced to sex about once every 2 weeks. Then a while afterward she came home and told me from here on out Id be limited to strictly handjobs. I felt humiliated especially since we just signed a new 1 year lease at our condo and i thought it would be a fad and shed eventually be having sex with me again...but it hasnt happened and now I get a handjob at most once a week and its usually after shes dressed and an hour or so before shes ready to go out with him for the night. Would she have decided this, or would he have decided that I dont get sex any more? It feels like Im being sexually punished? Why would she decide to only give me handjobs now?? Can anyone give me insight on why this has happened? Thanks!

  • #2
    I think if you wait long enough, she'll just cut you down to just sex talk every other month.

    What is keeping you with her at this point?
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

    Comment


    • #3
      Your FIRST mistake was agreeing to an open relationship and thinking that it wasn't going to come back and bite you in the ass.

      What was so special about this woman that you would encourage her to sleep around with other men, simply because your libido isn't up to par with hers, yet you remain exclusive to her ? Talk about desperate, man.
      Obviously you aren't sexually compatible, and IMO, it says a lot about your own self-worth when you would rather be with a woman that needs more than just what you offer her sexually, instead of finding someone that was more your speed.

      By my calculations, 18 months into your relationship, you consent to her fucking someone else, (ANYONE else) AND sign onto a year lease with her for your condo.......I'm with Sarah.....what IS keeping you with this woman, and who ever gave you the impression that this is what healthy, sustainable relationships are made of ?
      The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

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      • #4
        i guess i love her and think shell come around and be with me again? So its likely her ideas to limit me to just handjobs now?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by ryantrian View Post
          i guess i love her and think shell come around and be with me again? So its likely her ideas to limit me to just handjobs now?
          Why does it matter whose idea it was? It was either hers, or she is letting the other guy decided for her (which in my opinion is worse). Even thought I usually agree with open relationships, it seems that you both didnt put some decent boundaries/rules. Why couldn't you see other people??

          What do you want to do? Are you interested in continuing the relationship or do you want out? Because if you want to continue the relationship you have to sit down with her and remember her that is with you that she is in a relationship, not the other guy. SO that means that she cant make decisions regarding your sex life on her own.

          But IMO it seems like she just wants out. Although I cant understand why she agreed to sign the lease...
          Last edited by tarasoff; November 21st, 2017, 02:42 PM.

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          • #6
            SHE’S PLAYING YOU !!!

            She has the best of both worlds. She has a guy that provides her with all she could want from a ‘father figure or a friend’ (no sex, yet committed, a roof over her head, security) AND gets to go lay with whomever she chooses, whenever she chooses. She’s got it made, for a tart.

            It's not love, bud, it's desperation.

            Take whatever self-worth you've got left, and go find someone that thinks you're enough for her, and not someone who leaves you to her sloppy seconds.

            The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

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            • #7
              You really think it makes a difference who decided to cut your sex life down? Pathetic.

              Stop being a schmuck. As others have said, find someone who is more compatible with you. Why are you letting her humiliate you like this?
              "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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              • #8
                Bro, you're in an open relationship, but it's still a relationship. Something tells me your a bit of a beta, and only agreed to this because you didn't want to lose her. If that's the case, you shouldn't be in an open relationship. If it's not the case, then deal with it the way it is, and go smash some side poon, as you can do that too (though you probably won't cause you sound beta). Or if bother's you that you're getting none...oh idk, talk to her about what you want out of this relationship and that now you're not getting enough sex.

                The people above are right though, you definitely sound like you're getting played HARD. I'd seriously reconsider this whole relationship!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by ryantrian View Post
                  Ive been with the same girl now for almost 2 years. She is a bit younger than I am (were in our 40's) and has a higher sex drive than me, so after talking about things for awhile I decided to let her have an open relationship, while I only see her. Well, eventually she met a guy at work and she hooked up with him about 6 months ago. After the first time she told me all about it and things seemed pretty decent. Eventually she hooked up with him again, and then eventually it was once a week. Now shes hooking up 2-3 times a week with him. 3 months ago she came home and told me that it was decided that she was going to "pretty much" cut me out of sex! I was reduced to sex about once every 2 weeks. Then a while afterward she came home and told me from here on out Id be limited to strictly handjobs. I felt humiliated especially since we just signed a new 1 year lease at our condo and i thought it would be a fad and shed eventually be having sex with me again...but it hasnt happened and now I get a handjob at most once a week and its usually after shes dressed and an hour or so before shes ready to go out with him for the night. Would she have decided this, or would he have decided that I dont get sex any more? It feels like Im being sexually punished? Why would she decide to only give me handjobs now?? Can anyone give me insight on why this has happened? Thanks!
                  Troll or you're her sub?

                  Which is it, ryan?
                  "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    OP, you have not set the boundaries of an open relationship.
                    Do you even understand what an open relationship means?
                    It means both are allowed to have sex with others, including you! Is she ok with that?
                    It also generally involves one night stands not a regular hook up and no dating.
                    It is meant to enhance your sex life not replace it.

                    Why are you with her?
                    And possibly more importantly why is she with you?
                    How is your relationship apart from sex? Obviously not great since she sees him a few times a week.
                    Are you still going on dates with each other?

                    Denying you sex while having sex with another is not an open relationship.
                    If allowing her have sex with others diminishes your sex life it also diminishes intimacy.

                    Your relationship is over. You have a flat mate that occasionally gives you a hand job only.

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                    • #11
                      I broke up with her but I'm stuck living with her until our lease is up. Now she's telling me she might be interested in sex again

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                      • #12
                        You are now officially a cuckold, she has you right where she wants you, it’s what I have always longed for, maybe this isn’t for you but you started this for some reason, let your emotions settle down for awhile and see what happens. Keep us up to date, I wish this was me though, sounds awesome!

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                        • #13
                          Sorry, I just saw where you said you broke up with her, hope you don’t regret it!

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                          • #14
                            That was one of the most hardest and worst situation i've ever read...
                            Last edited by Werewolfgirl01; December 6th, 2017, 04:26 PM. Reason: U

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Werewolfgirl01 View Post
                              That was one of the most hardest and worst situation i've ever read...
                              It would be for quite a few people, I would actually crave that! I would have loved to have been her cuckold.

                              Comment

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