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  • Too wet/make him last longer?

    Hey guys. So I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month. We have GREAT sex. The foreplay is A1 and he really takes his time on me which makes ecstatic. I get REALLY wet during sex and he seems to get overly excited by that. He does not last more than 20 pumps during actual intercourse and it's a little annerving sometimes because I'm so close.

    A few notes... we always use condoms which already help him lose sensitivity. He's not greedy... once he cums we do some more foreplay and then have sex again. Lather. Rinse. Repeat for hours. This definitely makes up for the lack of time he spends inside me since that doesn't change whether it's round 1 or 7. I really enjoy the way he feels and just wish he could make me cum using just his penis.. My question is as follows:

    With the average length of time being 13 pumps.... how can I help him hold off? Is there anything I can do to help him last longer without like coaching him through his breathing? I don't want to make him feel insecure about it. Lol

    please halp!
    It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Tootsytina View Post
    Hey guys. So I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month. We have GREAT sex. The foreplay is A1 and he really takes his time on me which makes ecstatic. I get REALLY wet during sex and he seems to get overly excited by that. He does not last more than 20 pumps during actual intercourse and it's a little annerving sometimes because I'm so close.

    A few notes... we always use condoms which already help him lose sensitivity. He's not greedy... once he cums we do some more foreplay and then have sex again. Lather. Rinse. Repeat for hours. This definitely makes up for the lack of time he spends inside me since that doesn't change whether it's round 1 or 7. I really enjoy the way he feels and just wish he could make me cum using just his penis.. My question is as follows:

    With the average length of time being 13 pumps.... how can I help him hold off? Is there anything I can do to help him last longer without like coaching him through his breathing? I don't want to make him feel insecure about it. Lol

    please halp!
    I think he needs to train his mind. How many partners has he had before you?

    Comment


    • #3
      He's says he's had 4 partners in his life. I've had 10 (I'm 30 and most of those were in high school/college). I feel a little self conscious about that, but I also don't think it's THAT bad.
      His last partner was 8 months ago. Granted, that's a while-- but we've been having round after round of sex for over a month now. You think he'd get more used it?
      I tried to be on top last time. I went REALLY slow and had him play with me while I rode it, but he still came REALLY quickly.

      I was thinking maybe a cock ring, but it's a bit early to start bringing in toys. Am I wrong in assuming that?
      It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Tootsytina View Post
        He's says he's had 4 partners in his life. I've had 10 (I'm 30 and most of those were in high school/college). I feel a little self conscious about that, but I also don't think it's THAT bad.
        No need to feel self conscious. It's not bad at all. Even if it was 100 partners, who gives a fuck. It's 2017.



        Originally posted by Tootsytina View Post
        I was thinking maybe a cock ring, but it's a bit early to start bringing in toys. Am I wrong in assuming that?
        My cock ring experience was that it vibrated my cock into numbness and I could last for ages. Of course, that may not be the same for your partner. The extra sensation could bring him down to 5 pumps. Who knows?!

        I don't think it's too soon to try out these things if you've regularly been having sex.

        How much foreplay are you giving him? I wouldn't normally advise dialling back the foreplay, but if you're jacking him right up to the limit and then jumping on his dick then it's no surprise that he can't last very long.


        PS - you talking about the number of 'pumps' made me laugh. Not sure why but it tickled me!


        Last edited by whatshappeningreg; November 15th, 2017, 05:31 AM.
        Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks for the pep talk on numbers there Poobah... lol. You're right-- it is 2017!

          My ex said the same thing that you did about the cock ring vibrating. I can try buying one that doesn't vibrate... pretty sure I've seen those. You know, just get one that just squeezes the base of his shaft to help hold him off?

          As for the foreplay, it goes on for a while. When we first started hooking up he said that he never got off from foreplay. Said he "didn't even really care for it" because it "never got him there"-- but I proved that either that was a lie or his past partners just didn't do it like I do. LOL... maybe I shouldn't focus on him so much during foreplay? I just like giving and it seems weird to me to just lay there and get finger banged without at least give him a little helping hand.

          For example, while he plays with my bits, I play with his. Then I go down on him if/when I get too sensitive for a few minuted. Then he may go down on me or we may begin having actual sex... or you know go back to him playing with me.... but I try to pay attention to his sounds, firmness (if you get me) and his body language and basically edge him the whole time. I've heard that helps get used to getting close but not actually cumming. I'm not sure if that helps us or not... but he at least seems to really enjoy it.

          Ack. I dunno lol I've never had this issue with a man before.
          It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by whatshappeningreg View Post
            PS - you talking about the number of 'pumps' made me laugh. Not sure why but it tickled me!
            Hahaha... what else would I refer to is as? I'm very open about my sexuality-- I can sometimes be misconstrued as vulgar lol
            Sorry, not sorry hahaha
            It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

            Comment


            • #7
              just have him get on an SSRI anti depressant med lol. Shit makes me last fooorreeverrrrrrrrrrrrr!

              Comment


              • #8
                seriously though, just have him jack it more often, maybe earlier in day when you will be hooking up. Will make it harder for him to cum so fast. Also yes, stop and go technique can work. Have him stop and focus on you orally for a bit, then go again etc....Best of luck!

                Comment


                • #9
                  it's just crazy to me that he doesn't last long even after #5 or #6. Like-- that's a lot of sex to still not be able to hold it. lol

                  I'm talking like twice in the a.m. Twice after lunch. A mid afternoon snack and then dinner and dessert... but all very short with actual penetration time.

                  I'm gonna talk to him and see if he wants to take a trip to the toy store. ^_^ Hopefully he's open to the idea.
                  It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Tootsytina View Post
                    As for the foreplay, it goes on for a while....I play with his. Then I go down on him... basically edge him the whole time. I've heard that helps get used to getting close but not actually cumming.
                    It's great that you're not being selfish and are attentive to all these things. Perhaps edging is not the way with this guy as it sounds like you're building him up too much so that he just lets go the moment you have sex.

                    Try dialling it back a bit. Obviously still do whatever to get him nice and hard but just don't jack him to the edge of climax right before sex.
                    Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      We talked about this a bit a couple of days ago. We were like two sentences in to describing what we LIKE about having sex together and he openly admitted that he can't keep his load with me and he doesn't understand why. He says that I excite him too much(??). That he's never had a partner that "gets as into it" as I do. One that is attentive as I am (??). He also says I get extremely wet and that it excites him more than anyone he's been with-- that it makes his bits go insane.

                      After having that open conversation with him about this, I'm now curious. Soooooo, I want to ask you guys another question:

                      I was always under the impression that being wetter makes it LESS sensitive... is that wrong?

                      Do things like a woman playing with her button (or her boobs, or your balls, or grabbing butt cheeks/gripping your back etc) while you have intercourse make you more excited?
                      I always thought this was normal-- but maybe I'm being too sexual? Opinions?

                      I've already figured out he's a little less vanilla than me (doesn't like rough play or pain play)-- but I'm kinda weird-ed out by the idea of having to just lay there lol
                      It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Tootsytina View Post
                        We talked about this a bit a couple of days ago. We were like two sentences in to describing what we LIKE about having sex together and he openly admitted that he can't keep his load with me and he doesn't understand why.
                        It's good that the two of you have entered into a conversation about this. That's the way to get it resolved.



                        Originally posted by Tootsytina View Post
                        He says that I excite him too much(??). That he's never had a partner that "gets as into it" as I do. One that is attentive as I am (??). He also says I get extremely wet and that it excites him more than anyone he's been with-- that it makes his bits go insane.
                        This is all great feedback, so you should be pleased about this!



                        Originally posted by Tootsytina View Post
                        I was always under the impression that being wetter makes it LESS sensitive... is that wrong?
                        Wetness has never made a difference to sensitivity in my experience.



                        Originally posted by Tootsytina View Post
                        Do things like a woman playing with her button (or her boobs, or your balls, or grabbing butt cheeks/gripping your back etc) while you have intercourse make you more excited?
                        I always thought this was normal-- but maybe I'm being too sexual? Opinions?
                        First of all, loooooooool at 'button'. That's a new one on me

                        To answer your questions, yes all of those things can make sex more exciting. That all sounds normal to me, I don't think you are being 'too sexual' at all. And yeah, nobody really wants anyone who is just going to lie there


                        Have you tried reducing the foreplay/edging since we were posting about it earlier? Surely that will help him last longer when you get down to the actual sex.




                        Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Reach down and squeez his penis at the base real tight. Don't forewarn him. If nothing else it will interrupt him for a minute and set him back a little, but I've been told it works by the men themselves, for whatever reason. Also, you need to pull back on the foreplay if he's trigger happy. Maybe go down on him AFTER.
                          Not at all flirtatious. Why does it say that??

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Preraph View Post
                            Reach down and squeez his penis at the base real tight.
                            Hmm... not sure I would enjoy this! Be careful you don't hurt someone!



                            Originally posted by Preraph View Post
                            Not at all flirtatious. Why does it say that??
                            It's an automatically generated title based on how many posts you have made. It will change to something else eventually.
                            Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I did try reducing the foreplay and it worked wonders. . . but it does make me feel selfish.

                              What I did was let him concentrate on me the first round of foreplay. We had intercourse and then he worked on me again while he recharged. In turn, I went wild on him for round two of foreplay.
                              He didn't make it to round two of intercourse (lol)... but the next round of intercourse lasted a good 10 minutes, so I think I got it figured out!

                              That's all I wanted Thanks guys! I'm sure I'll have more updates/questions soon.
                              It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

                              Comment

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