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  • Boyfriend with pictures on his phone.

    So i have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now. He can be a difficult person sometimes, this is mainly because i am a very affectionate person and he isn't like that all the time. Things have gone great between us, we clicked from day one and have since been on two lovely holidays together and i am basically living with him already. We enjoy the same things and always seem to have fun together. Recently though i have felt extremely unloved and not really needed. He loves his phone, he is always on it. Sometimes to the point where i feel like im invisible to him. He is always sat looking at something. Usually its Facebook or looking at BBC sport. I was curious recently and looked on his history on his tablet (the two are connected) and he was constantly going on to some random photo booth sites and looking through the pictures of random people. I have now seen that he has saved some of what i can only guess are his 'Favourite' pictures. (mainly of woman with there boobs out or bums) these have been saved on his phone in a folder that i am guess has been made so that i cant access it.... obviously i can! This bothers me because it feels like he is always on his phone and if this is what hes looking at then what am i there for?! i realise looking at things on a partners phone isn't great. I don't want this to be a problem between us as i have fallen head over heels for this guy but i just cant seem to shake whatever this feeling is off me. So im really looking for advice on what to do? Thanks.

  • #2
    Have you talked to him about any of this? It's important to communicate your feelings on issues such as this.
    Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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    • #3
      Right away I'm gonna say TAKE A STEP BACK and review your relationship. Do you really feel unloved or is he just getting comfortable with you and you're past the honeymoon phase? Do you need to feel needed or do you want to be wanted? Do you really love him? This could be normal just getting out of the honeymoon stuff. However, If you genuinely feel unloved (and distrust him enough to go through his history) than this is NOT working out for YOU. Seriously, you need to hear this. If you trust someone you're supposed to talk to them instead of looking through their technology and the fact that you clearly don't trust him says that you're subconsciously realizing that this isn't working out. I think it's always a really bad sign if you go through someone's stuff. Really try to avoid looking at it like "I love him so i need to get past this" and look at it like "DO i love him enough to get past this?". It's honestly not a big deal that he's got some nudes from the internet saved in a file. He's probably just saving them so when he masturbates (guys do this all the time, even in relationships) and it's pretty normal so long as it's not children (NO NO NO) or it's not pictures sent to him or of people that he knows. It's private for a guy to have a compilation of dirty pictures that turn them on and a little embarrassing so I wouldn't focus on this so much. The concerning thing here is what you did. I think it reveals how you're TRULY feeling about the relationship

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      • #4
        Originally posted by PersonnOne View Post
        So i have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now. He can be a difficult person sometimes, this is mainly because i am a very affectionate person and he isn't like that all the time. Things have gone great between us, we clicked from day one and have since been on two lovely holidays together and i am basically living with him already. We enjoy the same things and always seem to have fun together. Recently though i have felt extremely unloved and not really needed. He loves his phone, he is always on it. Sometimes to the point where i feel like im invisible to him. He is always sat looking at something. Usually its Facebook or looking at BBC sport. I was curious recently and looked on his history on his tablet (the two are connected) and he was constantly going on to some random photo booth sites and looking through the pictures of random people. I have now seen that he has saved some of what i can only guess are his 'Favourite' pictures. (mainly of woman with there boobs out or bums) these have been saved on his phone in a folder that i am guess has been made so that i cant access it.... obviously i can! This bothers me because it feels like he is always on his phone and if this is what hes looking at then what am i there for?! i realise looking at things on a partners phone isn't great. I don't want this to be a problem between us as i have fallen head over heels for this guy but i just cant seem to shake whatever this feeling is off me. So im really looking for advice on what to do? Thanks.
        You really had a good snoop! You didn't just browse his internet history but also files. You have already created a problem. The minute you feel the need to snoop rather than communicate your feelings , suggests the relationship is going nowhere. You have violated his privacy. Who cares who he masturbates to? And you should not be so naive to think it's only you? Men and women have fantasies.
        Doesnt mean they want to make the fantasy a reality. Often people are even ashamed of their fantasies. And don't even understand them seconds after getting off to them.

        Why did you snoop? Thinking he is cheating? He clearly isn't or you would have uncovered that since you had a good snoop.
        But now you can't handle the truth you did uncover. Which is none of your business.

        Him being on his phone a lot during your time together , however , is an issue. Doesn't matter whether he is sourcing music, browsing fb etc. It is eating into your time together. So, discuss that! And that only. What he does online outside of your time together is none of your business. Pay attention to how he treats you when together. And tell him that you want your time together phone free.

        He will likely respond positively.

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        • #5
          Agree that you have to talk to him about your feeling ignored so he can look at boobs and bums that are out if you haven't already. If you have told him how his screen activity makes you feel, what did he reply with?
          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by PersonnOne View Post
            So i have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now. He can be a difficult person sometimes, this is mainly because i am a very affectionate person and he isn't like that all the time. Things have gone great between us, we clicked from day one and have since been on two lovely holidays together and i am basically living with him already. We enjoy the same things and always seem to have fun together. Recently though i have felt extremely unloved and not really needed. He loves his phone, he is always on it. Sometimes to the point where i feel like im invisible to him. He is always sat looking at something. Usually its Facebook or looking at BBC sport. I was curious recently and looked on his history on his tablet (the two are connected) and he was constantly going on to some random photo booth sites and looking through the pictures of random people. I have now seen that he has saved some of what i can only guess are his 'Favourite' pictures. (mainly of woman with there boobs out or bums) these have been saved on his phone in a folder that i am guess has been made so that i cant access it.... obviously i can! This bothers me because it feels like he is always on his phone and if this is what hes looking at then what am i there for?! i realise looking at things on a partners phone isn't great. I don't want this to be a problem between us as i have fallen head over heels for this guy but i just cant seem to shake whatever this feeling is off me. So im really looking for advice on what to do? Thanks.
            If he is always on his phone and you feel like he's on it too much to where you feel invisible, that's a huge red flag. He obviously cares more about looking at his damn phone than paying attention to you. That's a clear sign of addiction and that he has a serious problem.

            If it were me, I'd smash his phone, but what you should do is give him an ultimatum. Tell him: either your phone goes or I go. You shouldn't be in a relationship where he cares more about a stupid electronic device than a human being.

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