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Partner CANNOT orgasm/ejaculate with me!

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  • Partner CANNOT orgasm/ejaculate with me!

    Let me start off by saying yes, he is attracted to me. He often initiates sex and he talks about how much he enjoys it all the time, we both enjoy it when it's happening. But he's NEVER been able to finish, or orgasm, no matter what I do! I've tried so many things, I've tried asking him what he likes, I've tried spicing things up, nothing works. He can finish when he's masturbating alone. He's young and healthy, he doesn't smoke or drink, he has a high sex drive, but he comes from a strictly religious family and I wonder if that's a factor. They do not know that he is sexually active with me (thank goodness), so maybe it's anxiety? Also, we lost our virginity to each other, I don't know if that's a factor, but there it is. I don't know what to do, and he won't tell me anything to help, so I'm at a loss! We've been together for over a year and it's driving me nuts because I feel like I can't satisfy him fully, and everyone I talk to says it "should" be easy, that men are supposed to finish no problem...yet that's not true? I know it's probably not his fault, and it's probably not mine either, but I can't help feeling paranoid and ashamed. I get thoughts like "Maybe I'm really bad in bed and he just won't tell me". I feel like a failure, I just want to give him the same pleasure he gives me. Hell, he won't even tell me what kind of porn he watches. How am I supposed to talk to him about this without it sounding like I'm blaming him? We both love each other very much, I just want to know that it's not my fault. I've tried talking with him about this before, but he won't tell me why it's happening, all he says is that he's "satisfied".

  • #2
    He could be anxious or nervous. Chances are that when he masturbates his grip is harder than you are. He may be used to that. He could lighten his grip, change his techniques etc to help with that. He may also have masturbated recently. The longer he holds off before you two have sex the higher chance he will have of finishing with you. You could also try more foreplay and getting him closer before you have sex. Those are things you will have to explore and find out with more communication. He has to feel completely safe talking to you about those private things. Don't attack yourself or him over it, figure out how to work together to make the experience more enjoyable..

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Blaze View Post
      Chances are that when he masturbates his grip is harder than you are. He may be used to that. He could lighten his grip, change his techniques etc to help with that. He may also have masturbated recently. The longer he holds off before you two have sex the higher chance he will have of finishing with you. You could also try more foreplay and getting him closer before you have sex. Those are things you will have to explore and find out with more communication.
      I agree with all of that.

      The best pussy in the world will not match the grip and speed of a powerful wank. If he wanks quite vigorously then he could have desensitised his cock so that he struggles to generate enough motion to make him jizz during sex.

      Has he ever jizzed in front of you at all? Perhaps as a starting point you could both masturbate in front of each other to see if he can orgasm in front of you.

      Oh, and this has nothing to do with you being bad in bed.
      Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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