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  • senior couple sex help for wife

    I am 61 and my wife is 56. We both are in very good sharp and healthy. We do not smoke or drink. I take testosterone injections and I have the T level of a 18 year old. I can easily have sex 4 days times a week. My wife on the other hand can only do 2 times a week. When we do have sex we pump each other dry and it is real good. We do all postions rough and slow.We do oral on each other and love it.She takes homone implants to help, but it does not help with her libido. We spice things up and do date nights. We are very open with each other. We need help getting her to my level. We both want to continue with sex as long as we can. Any suggestion? What can we do. We both love sex.
    Best Regards,
    John

  • #2
    Re: senior couple sex help for wife

    I'm assuming that your wife has been through menopause. The years around and after menopause can be disruptive to the libido, and obviously vaginal lubrication, etc. The changes in hormones wreak havoc on a whole lot of stuff, so you're fortunate to still be having regular sex. Many couples in their 30s don't have as much sex as you guys.

    You say your wife has an implant, but a number of women I know have been using a HRT that combines oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone. They've had pretty good results. However, once the libido has decreased it is hard to ramp it up again because the hormone levels have changed. It's not for lack of wishing it, the libido just isn't there. Sadly, there is no magic bullet for a decreased libido after the menopause. For some, it does come back slowly, for others it doesn't.

    You may have to accept that twice a week is great. Other days you might just play and do other stuff without penetrative sex. I'm sure you already know this but there are really good lubricants on the market where you don't have to 'pump her dry'. Don't buy the silicone based ones.

    The other thing I'd like to say is that You're seeing this as getting her to 'your level'. Why is that the benchmark? How about you take it to her level for a while, relax and see what, if anything, shifts. Too much pressure is always a HUGE libido dampener for a woman.
    Last edited by MonaLisa; April 19th, 2015, 04:48 AM.

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    • #3
      Re: senior couple sex help for wife

      Curious, why would you take testosterone injections? What's the reason? Could it be the reason you have this high level of libido...?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: senior couple sex help for wife

        Originally posted by jdc2204 View Post
        I am 61 and my wife is 56. We both are in very good sharp and healthy. We do not smoke or drink. I take testosterone injections and I have the T level of a 18 year old. I can easily have sex 4 days times a week. My wife on the other hand can only do 2 times a week. When we do have sex we pump each other dry and it is real good. We do all postions rough and slow.We do oral on each other and love it.She takes homone implants to help, but it does not help with her libido. We spice things up and do date nights. We are very open with each other. We need help getting her to my level. We both want to continue with sex as long as we can. Any suggestion? What can we do. We both love sex.
        Best Regards,
        John
        Why are you taking "testosterone injections" and have you talked to your doctor about your T levels and the fact that you are so horny that you are currently pumping your wife "dry" as you put it?

        Perhaps you should be the one to slow down a tad rather then her be forced to come up to your over-the-top level? Just a suggestion.

        Failing that, perhaps you could get yourself a toy vagina and pump that out until it's dry? :eusa_whis
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: senior couple sex help for wife

          Failing that, perhaps you could get yourself a toy vagina and pump that out until it's dry
          You did make me laugh Phases!!

          I got a mental image of it, and now I can't get it our of my mind!
          Last edited by MonaLisa; April 20th, 2015, 09:58 PM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: senior couple sex help for wife

            Originally posted by Celine View Post
            Curious, why would you take testosterone injections? What's the reason? Could it be the reason you have this high level of libido...?
            I take Testosterone injection after I had my level tested and it was below the low mark. Almost did not regrister. This is because I only have one testee. Yes, these injection do work for me as I am in very good shape for my age. BMI is 22. My wife loves the changes that have occured in me. She does love sex. She knows when we have sex she is in for a good ride. We are going to keep working on her libido. We do treat each othet with kindness and respect.

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            • #7
              Re: senior couple sex help for wife

              Okay, I'm happy for you two and wish you the best of luck and a higher sex drive for your wifey

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: senior couple sex help for wife

                Originally posted by jdc2204 View Post
                I take Testosterone injection after I had my level tested and it was below the low mark. Almost did not regrister. This is because I only have one testee. Yes, these injection do work for me as I am in very good shape for my age. BMI is 22. My wife loves the changes that have occured in me. She does love sex. She knows when we have sex she is in for a good ride. We are going to keep working on her libido. We do treat each othet with kindness and respect.
                I'm almost in the same exact position that you are and also looking to increase her libido.... hope some good suggestions come thru.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: senior couple sex help for wife

                  JC,

                  I'm also on T shots, to get my level back to normal, which has worked well. She is not on any hormone, but tell me about what your wife is on and what effects they have.....wondering if I should look into that.

                  What I have found, is that for sex to happen, I need to get her totally relaxed. If the day was stressful or hard for her and things haven't been done, she will require a LOT more relaxation... massage, foreplay, etc to get her in the mood, and sometimes it doesn't work until the next morning. I believe that sexual desire is a lot in the mind and I'm trying to work on that... just to get her to open up and and think more about it. I still have a way to go.

                  She has agreed to initial it at least once a week, which is working fairly well, but at times it's a surprise at 4 am, which I can respond to, but often need time for a pill to keep things up. If I've taken on the night before, it still works pretty good in the morning and that is absolutely great sex.

                  However, like you, I'd sure like to increase the frequency to at least 4x a week. Working on that. I definitely have a stronger desire.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: senior couple sex help for wife

                    Originally posted by MonaLisa View Post
                    I'm assuming that your wife has been through menopause. The years around and after menopause can be disruptive to the libido, and obviously vaginal lubrication, etc. The changes in hormones wreak havoc on a whole lot of stuff, so you're fortunate to still be having regular sex. Many couples in their 30s don't have as much sex as you guys.

                    You say your wife has an implant, but a number of women I know have been using a HRT that combines oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone. They've had pretty good results. However, once the libido has decreased it is hard to ramp it up again because the hormone levels have changed. It's not for lack of wishing it, the libido just isn't there. Sadly, there is no magic bullet for a decreased libido after the menopause. For some, it does come back slowly, for others it doesn't.

                    You may have to accept that twice a week is great. Other days you might just play and do other stuff without penetrative sex. I'm sure you already know this but there are really good lubricants on the market where you don't have to 'pump her dry'. Don't buy the silicone based ones.

                    The other thing I'd like to say is that You're seeing this as getting her to 'your level'. Why is that the benchmark? How about you take it to her level for a while, relax and see what, if anything, shifts. Too much pressure is always a HUGE libido dampener for a woman.
                    Mona,

                    A few questions.... I've read there's some pretty serious risks with HRT, do you know much about that?
                    I don't know that I would agree with "taking it to her level" is necessary, but does take careful effort. I'm very close to the same spot as the OP, but I'm older. If I'm careful with plenty of tender foreplay before getting the clothes of, it often leads to that third or fourth time during the week. It doesn't always work, but often enough. Back rub, leg rub, massage, etc., while she's relaxing at the end of the day, after dinner. And a light dinner helps, too.

                    Still, I'd like it more often, and am always looking for ways to improve things without pressure. I've found that pressuring into it never works, but if she's not in the mood, I can still give her the rubs and mention that tomorrow would be better, perhaps in the morning? She will ofter say fine, and plan on it and make it a fun time.... but sometimes that doesn't work either, and it's two or three days out.

                    Why are you against the silicone based lubes? I've used both with great success. Even some of the higher end silicone lubes like Pjur work great, even with silicone toys. Never had a problem, but wonder if there's something I should know.....

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: senior couple sex help for wife

                      Hi Surfboard, I am on HRT and have done considerable research. The so called 'serious risks' have been disproved. Apparently the study that sent everyone into panic was undertaken with a small group of women, over 65, that had heart disease. The objective was to see if the HRT would assist with the heart disease, as estrogen protects the heart. However, in the results, allowance was not made for the fact that these women had heart disease due to other factors such as existing disease, lifestyle, weight, eating habits, smoking, etc. So in the end, it was not undertaken with a group of healthy women that were menopausal, rather with a group of unhealthy women, well past menopause.

                      As I mentioned, there are a range of HRT options, and one of them combines the 3 hormones that decline after menopause - testosterone, estrogen and progesterone. The inclusion of testosterone in this particular option has proven effective in raising the libido.

                      I'm not sure what you meant in your comment about 'taking it to her level'. What I was suggesting to the original OP, who wanted his wife to be more sexually active, is that rather than putting pressure on her to be more active, he slightly reduce his expectation. Sort of the quality not quantity argument!

                      Finally, silicone is a proven irritant. That's why they don't make silicone based breast implants any more and some people can't wear silicone gloves. My personal experience is that it increases lubrication, but increases friction at the same time. For menopausal women, with a thinner and weaker vaginal lining, this can be very uncomfortable. I can't remember the name of the one I use, I'll have to look it up - but its water based.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: senior couple sex help for wife

                        Originally posted by MonaLisa View Post
                        Hi Surfboard, I am on HRT and have done considerable research. The so called 'serious risks' have been disproved. Apparently the study that sent everyone into panic was undertaken with a small group of women, over 65, that had heart disease. The objective was to see if the HRT would assist with the heart disease, as estrogen protects the heart. However, in the results, allowance was not made for the fact that these women had heart disease due to other factors such as existing disease, lifestyle, weight, eating habits, smoking, etc. So in the end, it was not undertaken with a group of healthy women that were menopausal, rather with a group of unhealthy women, well past menopause.

                        As I mentioned, there are a range of HRT options, and one of them combines the 3 hormones that decline after menopause - testosterone, estrogen and progesterone. The inclusion of testosterone in this particular option has proven effective in raising the libido.

                        I'm not sure what you meant in your comment about 'taking it to her level'. What I was suggesting to the original OP, who wanted his wife to be more sexually active, is that rather than putting pressure on her to be more active, he slightly reduce his expectation. Sort of the quality not quantity argument!

                        Finally, silicone is a proven irritant. That's why they don't make silicone based breast implants any more and some people can't wear silicone gloves. My personal experience is that it increases lubrication, but increases friction at the same time. For menopausal women, with a thinner and weaker vaginal lining, this can be very uncomfortable. I can't remember the name of the one I use, I'll have to look it up - but its water based.
                        Mona,

                        Thx for the info on HRT.

                        My "her level" comment (which is 2x a week) was based on what you said, that he should take it to her level and lower his expectations a little. He wants it 4x a week like I do, and I see nothing wrong at working for that goal.

                        It's much easier to do it more that the frustration of not doing it when you're hot, even for her. And taking it to her level is cutting it in half. I've managed to work a bit harder in relaxing my lady and often get it 3 times, and occasionally 4 times. If she's totally out of the mood, it doesn't happen and I could make an argument to never force it.

                        Often, when a lady is not in the mood, they can get in the mood with slow rubbing, back scratch, massage, foot rub or whatever, and they end up loving the sex afterward.

                        However, the OP is still looking for thing to get his lady's libido up to wanting it more, and I see nothing wrong with that... I'm still looking, too.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: senior couple sex help for wife

                          Regarding Hormonal replacement therapy for women going through menopause, I just stumbled upon this:

                          According to the National Cancer Institute, factors that can increase your risk for ovarian cancer include a family history of ovarian cancer, hormone replacement therapy, and your height and weight (being obese, gaining 40 or more pounds during adulthood and being 58 or taller can increase your risk). On the other hand, non-surgical preventative measures include taking oral contraceptives and breastfeeding.
                          Source: http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medi...BjIS0P#image=5

                          There is contradictory information about HRT out there but many doctors lately seem to advise against...
                          Last edited by Celine; May 20th, 2015, 02:23 PM.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: senior couple sex help for wife

                            Originally posted by Celine View Post
                            Regarding Hormonal replacement therapy for women going through menopause, I just stumbled upon this:

                            According to the National Cancer Institute, factors that can increase your risk for ovarian cancer include a family history of ovarian cancer, hormone replacement therapy, and your height and weight (being obese, gaining 40 or more pounds during adulthood and being 58 or taller can increase your risk). On the other hand, non-surgical preventative measures include taking oral contraceptives and breastfeeding.
                            Source:

                            There is contradictory information about HRT out there but many doctors lately seem to advise against...
                            Celine,
                            Thx for the update. I'd be interested for my lady if there were benefits, especially increased libido. But seems like other benefits, too. She also smokes (fortunately only a closet smoker less than a 1/2 pack per day, but that could be an issue. She may go back to the e cigarettes, too... don't know if that makes a difference.

                            Comments?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: senior couple sex help for wife

                              Originally posted by Surfboard View Post
                              Celine,
                              Thx for the update. I'd be interested for my lady if there were benefits, especially increased libido. But seems like other benefits, too. She also smokes (fortunately only a closet smoker less than a 1/2 pack per day, but that could be an issue. She may go back to the e cigarettes, too... don't know if that makes a difference.

                              Comments?
                              I have no real experience there as I'm getting my periods naturally... my aunt was on HRT and it did increase her libido according to what she said... consulting a doctor would be the best thing I guess

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