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Guys and Girls with Sex

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  • #16
    Re: Guys and Girls with Sex

    If you're at a point where you want to cheat, you're at a point where the relationship needs to end.

    There is NO justification for cheating in my books.
    PLEASE use PARAGRAPHS when you post, we’re more likely to read your post.
    For more information on paragraphs please press your enter key whilst typing a post.

    They're = They are (eg, They're not wearing any clothes!)
    Their = Possessive (eg, Check out their boobies!)
    There = locality (eg There is a naked chick in the water)
    Your = Possessive (eg I can see your boobies through that wet t-shirt)
    You're = You are (eg You're getting dressed? Damn...)

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    • #17
      Re: Guys and Girls with Sex

      I'm not at that point I was just making a point. I am happy in my relationship except for the decline of sex of course.
      Last edited by bigboy56; February 19th, 2012, 09:20 PM.

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      • #18
        Re: Guys and Girls with Sex

        Originally posted by bigboy56 View Post
        I'm not at that point I was just making a point. I am happy in my relationship except for the decline of sex of course.
        Well your "point" is illogical and is the excuses (which they call "reasons") that people use to justify their poor behaviour and fear of being alone so they try to stay with the status quo (even though unhappy) and supplement in a totally under-handed manner.
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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        • #19
          Re: Guys and Girls with Sex

          I suppose. It may be an excuse but it does happen. Sometimes with relatively happy couples with the simple reason of lack of intimacy.

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          • #20
            Re: Guys and Girls with Sex

            Originally posted by leonlecouer View Post
            Oorah Sociopath.


            Look man, she just gave birth! She's swamped as a mother. Naturally things are going to lax a little bit. I took care of a 4 year old for four hours. After that, I just wanted to sleep. I couldn't imagine doing that every day for 12 hours a day.

            Send her out with her friends, or to a spa to relax. She needs time to herself and to recharge, that's all.
            She's not going to recharge over the weekend, you dimwit. The only way for her to have hot, steamy sex ever again is for her to be in one hell of a mood to make another little devil shit. And it's going to be with some strong, handsome man. Not with a little pansy who whines about not getting enough laid from his wifey.

            Or, wait, do you still think sex is all about "emotional connections" and "expression of the self"? Hahahaha.

            Originally posted by phasesofthemoon View Post
            No kidding, manwhore! O.o

            Yes, leave her alone to rear your children and when they're all grown, she can re-discover herself and leave your lazy lover ass for the new pool boy.
            Flattery will get you nowhere, phases.

            Eeeeeeehhh... I didn't recommend leaving her alone. I say if you want a job done right, you do it yourself. They're your genes, you have an incentive to stick around and make sure the kids end up being all right.

            But if she wants to "re-discover" her old, flabby, wrinkly self... she can do it on somebody else's dime.

            Originally posted by bigboy56 View Post
            Lol. Wow way to go off topic people. She doesn't really have any friends or feel compelled to go out. We spend time together and I help put as much as possible. Like I said most of it is self confidence and she doesnt feel good about herself. That plus kids equals no nookie for me.

            Like I said I was curious if its wrong to expect her to do things once in a while for me to keep me happy which makes us happy. I realize that goes both ways and that includes me helping her out as much as possible. But I really think its good for women to realize that their man thinks of them as being more then just a hole. Men need the physicallity of a relationship.
            Man, first of all, you call it "nookie." WTF???

            Pretend, for just a second, that you two are NOT IN ANY SORT OF RELATIONSHIP! Right now, you are being as much of an idiot to expect her to give you sexual favors as you would be if the two of you wouldn't have been in a relationship.

            You want your precious "nookie," find a way to turn her on. You pussy. She's not obligated to give you orgasms.

            Cheat if you want to, but under the current circumstances, she'll probably be very hurt to discover you doing that. And last I checked, people who love one another don't rip open each other's rib cages to feast on hearts like that.

            If you don't want to hurt her, but you still want to get laid, it is YOUR JOB, NOT HERS, to turn her on!

            Originally posted by OvershareDude View Post
            Amen to that.
            It's obscene to insist that men express their emotions through sexual intercourse any more than women express their emotions through sexual intercourse.

            Originally posted by bigboy56 View Post
            I just dont understand why some women think its just about getting off. If thats all it was we would probably never marry or date.
            Wow. Wrong again. Masturbating just isn't the same.

            Look, dude, your girlfriend is just not sexually aroused by you at the time. Hell, she's focused making the new baby work out--she's not going to spread herself thin by making still another baby. Translation: she's not going to be having sex with you.

            But if you keep badgering her like an adolescent, the next time she's ready to spread her legs and get humped like crazy, it won't be by you she'll want it to be.

            Originally posted by BabyDiva View Post
            I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're feeling. I don't think there's anything wrong with what she's feeling. After the little ones are asleep (you know, in between feedings for the baby), maybe pour some coffee or equivalent drink she likes and sit down in the stillness and just talk - reconnect. Perhaps use the time to look through pictures of your years together, reminding yourselves of why you connected in the first place.

            At the same time, when you're relaxed and not trying to do anything other than talk, bring up the subject of how you know that she doesn't feel like she's the same woman after your two children but how you feel that you love her more than before, if that's possible because she's such an excellent mother in addition to all the wonderful things she was before the babies came along and that your desire for her hasn't changed any over the past few years of diapers and midnight feedings. Bring up the fact that you still want to be with her intimately, but that you understand her not wanting to be intimate so soon after the new baby entered your lives. Mention the fact that you would still like to maintain intimacy even through non-intercourse means until she's ready emotionally and physically to go back to feeling those intimate emotions.

            You have to move gently with it so she doesn't get the "Woman, I need a release and you better do it no matter how you feel" vibe. As much as you need something physically, I'm convinced there's a strong emotional tie to it as well for men.

            I went through 4 months straight with urinary tract infections shortly after my husband and I were married. It made life miserable and I felt like crap consistently for those months. It took a while for me to realize I needed to get beyond myself and think of my husband's needs. Granted, we don't have kids (and that does significantly change things), but even still we have to work at maintaining intimacy with our hectic work schedules.

            Just take it one day at a time after you have the conversation...don't push hard, but mentioning how you feel about her and how you want to feel that intimacy again may help her not feel so poorly about herself. (I'm sure her not performing is weighing on her anyway...I felt like a failure during my medical issues - so tread very lightly to avoid starting an argument.)

            Just my personal take on it.
            You know you just gave him advice on how to manipulate her into being cozy with him, right? The instant he slips up and reaches for her tits, or whatever, she'll pull back and say, "Not right now, honey. I'm tired."

            Originally posted by bigboy56 View Post
            Thanks BabyDiva thats good advice. I have followed some of that. Patience is the biggest thing that I have noticed. I find that despite our non-confrontation heart to heart talks nothing comes of it. I dont expect her to want to "Service me". I want her to want to be intimate with me despite how she feels. Like she can be aware that she is not in the mood. But to also be aware that I love her deerly and that being intimate is important.
            You took BabyDiva's advice and it DIDN'T work? Feels good to be right.

            Originally posted by OvershareDude View Post
            No, what I meant was Men need the physical side of a relationship, more than just getting their rocks off, but for the connection. many a thread by me was about the lack of sex in my relationship.
            I don't want to be mean, but there's a lack of sex in your relationship because you're not turning her on. Unless you're fine with raping her (which, uhm... might not be too far-fetched--DON'T TAKE IT OUT OF CONTEXT), you're going to have to find a way to juice her up all over again.

            Originally posted by bigboy56 View Post
            That sucks. Seriously I just don't get it. I guess if I really think about it this would go both ways. I have been in a relationship where my partner wanted it so much (couple times a days) where I would be more interested in something else. I'm not complaining about that. A lot of times I would go down on her, sex, etc. so that she was satisfied.

            I know there are girls out there to that are complaining there partner won't put out or show interest either. But seriously I believe that just sitting there saying no and doing nothing to help the partner you love regardless of "if you are in the mood or not" breeds confidence issues. It makes the partner question the others love. And worse yet it makes them look elsewhere. And if you really think about it if the other person is never putting out and you are trying to do what you can to make them want you, etc. how can you blame them if they cheat.
            Huh? What does LOVE have to do with sexual attraction? We don't fuck 'cause we love. We fuck 'cause we get hot.

            Originally posted by phasesofthemoon View Post
            blah, blah, blah, something counselor, blah, blah
            Yeah, leave it to the counselors to know how to make women thirsty for sex and weak in the knees.

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            • #21
              Re: Guys and Girls with Sex

              Originally posted by OvershareDude View Post
              If you're at a point where you want to cheat, you're at a point where the relationship needs to end.

              There is NO justification for cheating in my books.
              I can come up with one example of where not only is it ok to cheat, but I'd find highly offensive for cheating NOT to occur.

              Say she knows he's horny, and then uses her vagina as some sort of treat to reward the dude for behavior she wants to see in him. The moment she withholds sex is the moment he's morally obligated to cheat on her. Preferably with her sister or her best friend.

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              • #22
                Re: Guys and Girls with Sex

                You know you just gave him advice on how to manipulate her into being cozy with him, right? The instant he slips up and reaches for her tits, or whatever, she'll pull back and say, "Not right now, honey. I'm tired."
                Yes, I'm a woman, and I would try to get someone to be manipulated after I myself was in an abusive relationship. You're the sociopath, not me.
                Surviving hostile forum trolls since 1999 :-)

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                • #23
                  Re: Guys and Girls with Sex

                  Yeah, leave it to the counselors to know how to make women thirsty for sex and weak in the knees.
                  i was thinking more along the lines of him actually garnering the skills he needs from a sex councelor so that he could make her weak at the knees.

                  Seems he's not doing the trick for her these days... subsequently, she's not doing it for him either.

                  Maybe an erotic couples video (not porn) might start him into being the seducer he once was???
                  Last edited by phasesofthemoon; February 20th, 2012, 12:02 PM. Reason: to add
                  "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Guys and Girls with Sex

                    BabyDiva, you were in an abusive relationship 'cause you got fat and ugly.

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