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Seriously, is this normal??

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  • Seriously, is this normal??

    My SO is entirely too busy for sex!!! He just started his own business about two months ago and he has been very busy trying to acquire clients. He would have never decided to start his business NOW if our job had not laid him off then asked him to come back. There is a lot of stress at work I should add. But I really don't know what to do besides get a dildo, which never seem to work for me. My sex drive is high and he's is low. It's going on three weeks and when he comes over I only get a hug and I sware just his touch makes me about to cum!!! What should I do????

  • #2
    Re: Seriously, is this normal??

    You need to talk, start of by telling him not to be embarrassed but that as a mature couple then communication is king here, tell him you are worried about the recent sex drive levels and you want to talk.
    I'd welcome this as a guy and have recently had this convo with my so too. It clears the air has a chance for you both to air your views tell him that that's what you want an open communication relationship, but do not make him feel pressured into giving in every night.
    Good luck

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    • #3
      Re: Seriously, is this normal??

      To answer your question, I dont think its normal.........

      Men love sex 99 % of the time.......
      Live life, love with an open mind, and never stop asking questions and learning from your mistakes... cause we all make plenty of them

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      • #4
        Re: Seriously, is this normal??

        Being too busy for sex..?
        Ask for more, he probably has enough time to give you. Maybe you could try to initiate sex? By kissing, hugging, massaging etc.

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        • #5
          Re: Seriously, is this normal??

          yeah i agree Azmo..... nothing works better than a nice sensual massage, get him to take all his clothes off and you too, and slip and slide all over him lol... if he dont like that, then hes brain dead
          Live life, love with an open mind, and never stop asking questions and learning from your mistakes... cause we all make plenty of them

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          • #6
            Re: Seriously, is this normal??

            Stress can be a major passion killer, and if you are coming over all needy that will just add to the rate your partners head is spinning and thus compound his stress, thats not to say he wont be thinking about sex, just that a quick DIY job will be more appealing due to the lack of pressure in performing.

            put yourself in his position and see it through his current state of mind, its human nature due to modern living, happens to both men and women.
            i dont know your situation, but if your into nlp then you would need to regain rapport so that you can pace and lead him into a relaxed enough state to think about sex in a pleasurable way rather than his possible current picture of it being more stress than stress relief

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            • #7
              Re: Seriously, is this normal??

              I've initiated sex and NOTHiNG!!! I've tried the kissing on the neck, massaging and he does not respond. I said maybe I should just surprise him with a senuous lap dance with some sexy lingerie because I'm about to go crazy. He tells me that he's just been so busy that he does not think about sex, so therefore does not want it. Now before he started this business, it was ON and POPPIN, damn I was loving it and now I'm hating it

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              • #8
                Re: Seriously, is this normal??

                gee, this is sounding more and more like a man whos having an affair... dont panic, it might just be my suspisious mind, but geeez ive never come across a man who doesnt want sex... too strange

                why dont do the random visit to his business see if any ladies are hanging around....
                Live life, love with an open mind, and never stop asking questions and learning from your mistakes... cause we all make plenty of them

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Seriously, is this normal??

                  well, i still don't think he is having an affair, i just think he is in survival mode due to the new business, in his mind sex is currently secondary to the new business, and he probably cant understand why you don't seem to understand - i am not saying that you don't, just that may be the way he feels.

                  I could be wrong, but the fact the business was only started 2 months ago after losing his job would lead most people to feel insecure, i've been there, i think about sex 99% of the time but when i was in that situation sex with my then GF really didn't come into the equation, the business just dominates your thoughts -no business - no money - no money -no home etc....
                  when would he have the time for an affair, what women would want an affair with a man that has little spare time, money and an unsecure future? it makes little sense unless the guy is a real con man.

                  Is he?

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                  • #10
                    Re: Seriously, is this normal??

                    How is his business going? is it flourishing or struggling...... that could give us a clue as to his state of mind.

                    Maybe you should just tell your parnter this is affecting you but you are willing to put sex on hold for a few more weeks but then things need to change for the health of your relationship. A business needs TLC but so do relationships.

                    Hope things work out
                    Live life, love with an open mind, and never stop asking questions and learning from your mistakes... cause we all make plenty of them

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Seriously, is this normal??

                      His business is flourishing, slowly but surely. It's not going as fast as he would like, but it's doing well.


                      BTW, EVERYBODY, FINALLY GOT SOME, WHOOOO-HOOOO!!!!!

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                      • #12
                        Re: Seriously, is this normal??

                        Originally posted by just bored View Post
                        well, i still don't think he is having an affair, i just think he is in survival mode due to the new business, in his mind sex is currently secondary to the new business, and he probably cant understand why you don't seem to understand - i am not saying that you don't, just that may be the way he feels.

                        I could be wrong, but the fact the business was only started 2 months ago after losing his job would lead most people to feel insecure, i've been there, i think about sex 99% of the time but when i was in that situation sex with my then GF really didn't come into the equation, the business just dominates your thoughts -no business - no money - no money -no home etc....
                        when would he have the time for an affair, what women would want an affair with a man that has little spare time, money and an unsecure future? it makes little sense unless the guy is a real con man.

                        Is he?

                        LOL, no he's not a con man. But you gave a really good perspective on things. Honestly, I don't think he's having an affair, it's more like you said---Survival mode, no money, no business, no secure future, no future engagement ring, etc!!!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Seriously, is this normal??

                          There you go!

                          he owes me one, he could of faced an irrational and destructive interrogation, instead he got hot lovin session!

                          glad to be of help

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                          • #14
                            Re: Seriously, is this normal??

                            no business, no secure future,no future engagement ring, etc!!!!
                            Think twice about marrying someone who wants FMF action. You (and you alone) will most likely not be enough for him for any length of time. Unless of course you're of the same sexual mind as he.
                            http://www.relationship-forums.com/s...ad.php?t=25412
                            "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Seriously, is this normal??

                              Personally, I'd avoid marriage all together anyway, not because he has typical male fantasies, just because its an old fashioned idea - they ruined the main benefit years ago by removing conjugal rights!

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