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Homewrecker!?

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  • Homewrecker!?

    So there was this night that I'm not very proud of... I hooked up with a guy I used to work with. We WERE friends but after that night he did a complete turn around. I'm VERY ashamed because #1: I'm not that kind of person, and #2: I feel COMPLETELY used.

    It happened over a year and a half ago... and I thought it was behind me but I was doing some browsing on MySpace and found him on one of my friends pages. So I decided to check him out... and found out he's been married for more than 6 years... with CHILDREN. Details that he somehow kept from me.

    Now I feel worse than I ever did about this situation... something I thought impossible before a couple days ago! I know I really had no way of knowing... but it's been eating at me CONSTANTLY since I found out... does ANYONE have advice on how to get over it?!

  • #2
    Re: Homewrecker!?

    So the 'Homewrecker!?' in the title refers to you? The only homewrecking behaviour was committed by him. You worked with him and were friends and he never mentioned he was married. That tells you what sort of guy he is - he deliberately keeps quiet about being married with kids so he has options to hook up with people.

    How this guy conducts himself is really nothing to do with you. Why would you make yourself responsible for what he did? It's pretty unlikely it's the only time he's done something like this.

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    • #3
      Re: Homewrecker!?

      Yea, you can’t blame yourself for not knowing. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You did what you wanted to at the time… knowing what you where told. You should not feel any less about yourself. He was the one who deceived you. He lied. So you did nothing wrong. Your not a home wrecker. As far as you knew you where hooking up with a single guy that had no ties.
      One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American Army doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine... - From a Soviet Junior Lt's Notebook

      "The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis."
      - from a post-war debriefing of a German General

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      • #4
        Re: Homewrecker!?

        you're STILL not 'that kind of person." You did nothing wrong. You had no idea he was married, or had kids. There is no blame on you for this. He is simply a horrible person. Should you feel used? Yeah, probably. But it WAS 1.5 years ago, and it's time to move on.
        29/female/Toronto
        I'm so cool I've got my OWN SMILEY!!

        English. It's your language. Learn to type it.


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        • #5
          Re: Homewrecker!?

          Yes I just worry about what happens to the wife and kids if they find out y'know? He'd deserve every second of it but he won't be the only one suffering and just the thought of that turns my stomach!!

          I REALLY appreciate it though, everyone. I feel a lot better!!

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          • #6
            Re: Homewrecker!?

            Short of asking every guy you meet if they are married, what can you do to protect yourself against this? It's not like you consciously went out to have sex with a married man. You two had a connection that night, and it turned out that all he wanted was a one night stand. You feel used and now find out that he is complete scum. I think you should actually feel better about yourself after finding this out. Be glad that you only had one night with him and he didn't try to use you for a longer period of time while he was married.

            So yeah, you did nothing wrong and he is a douchebag.
            “What we think or what we know or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.” ~ John Ruskin

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            • #7
              Re: Homewrecker!?

              Originally posted by Sekcboi85 View Post
              Short of asking every guy you meet if they are married

              They do have the option to lie. There is nothing you can do to know.

              Why do you feel bad about it? Forget it and move on.
              I would love to change the world , but God won't give me the source code

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