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Never Catfish Your S/O to Test Fidelity.

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  • Never Catfish Your S/O to Test Fidelity.

    So, I catfished my husband and he fell for it so quick that it seems a joke. I know that what I have done was wrong, but I was 100% sure that he was going to be loyal. I'm just writing this because I need to vent and warn other people to not do things this way. Really.

    *sorry for my poor english*

    I'm married for 8 years by now, When we were dating, I found some pics and videos of naked girls on his things, he said that it was from before us, I really don't have a problem with sex material, but the girls were really different from me in appearance, so this fact stood with me for years, and every time anything went worng with us, I would remember that the kind of girl that he wanted was other than me. Time passed, I accepted it and we were happy. Of course some other minor issues, like he was hurt when I said that a co-worker was hot, or when I found that he still looking for porn and was denying it, but we were happy, companions, and in a total of 10 yeays it was a great relationship.

    He is a character design by hobby and he has some social media based on this hobby. I was really happy that he was getting so much attention of the other people, receiving a lot of congrats for his works and all. So I planned a surprise. I would make a profile to see his works and share for him, and I made it. My photo was from an anime character that I really like (that I bet he would spot that it was me right away) and my name was a random japanese word (I'm a fan of japanese things). I said congrats on his works and asked somethings, I was ready to tell him that it was me, but then we went to the chat and I noticed that his behaviour was a little bit strange. He was talking a lot and wanted to knew why my name was "sadness" (really, it was the first thing that I found in google). I started to give only a few words as answer and was starting to get sad, decided to stop the talking. Then he sent other message, asking if he had done anything wrong, because I stopped the chat. The little devil spoke to me on my shoulder "Maybe he already found out that it was you and is testing you". Decided to take things really far. Talked a lot, and he said that he was married, that his wife was very jealous and that he would have to delete the conversation. By this point I was mad.

    Then I decided to pay to see, no matter what it would cost. I know him very well, and I know how to make he be in love. I started to say that he was beautiful, smart and that it was really sad that he had someone, then started a sad story about my past relationships (all really a mexican drama that anyone would doubt) and asked him if I could send a pic. He agreed and I found one random online, from a girl just like the ones in the porno thing from 10 years ago. He said that I was too beautiful to not be a model and that he needed more proof, I sent 2 other pics from the same girl, he fell and started to make plans to see the girl. He was now a teenager full of love and dreams, and I was in tears. He started to say that he would like to see me, hold me and that it would make him happy. I asked "what about your wife?" and he said that he would think on it after.

    At this point I was taken by hate and sadness, and decided to say that I could meet him when he was on his way to home (he was on his work when all happened), and to my surprise he said that it would be a dream come true to meet me. I said "but what about your wife? She will think that there is something wrong" and he said that he could work his way out, but I was very smart and would constantly stay with his phone, so she would have to watch out for messages, that he would talk to her first. By this time he was going crazy, undoing himself on compliments, saying how beautiful she was, how cute and that he was dreaming of holding her on his arms. Then, he came back home from work. By this thime I was waiting for him at the bedroom, he was happy and calm, I asked how's work going and he said fine, offered me a cookie, asked what I was doing. So he would lie to me and pretend that nothing happened.

    After that I said that I went on his account for a random reason and saw all the conversation. He stopped talking and I asked him why he was doing all of that, because if he was unhappy, then he needed to tell me. He said that he went was happy to talk to the girl, that he was liking the story and that he was an idiot. It went like 3 hours of talking, tears and regret, for both sides. I asked him if he wanted to leave, he said no, I said that I would like to forget everything, he seemed shocked and said that he does not believe that I should forgive him, that it was a terrible thing. Then I went to sleep, he went to the living room and sent a message to the girl, kanashimi, saying "I will not talk to you ever again, good bye". Then deleted his account and all. I know this because he always give me all his passwords and all. I'm sorry for the wall text and for all the venting but really, if I learned something from this is that maybe is betterto not give the reason to the little devil on your mind. Sorry if it was confusing.

  • #2
    His use of porn made you feel insecure. I don't believe you created a fake account for the reason you stated. You fully intended to catfish and test him. It was for no other reason but you were trying to justify yourself by making us believe you did it to help him. You gave him his fantasy girl, did you think he wouldnt respond to that? He sounded genuinely remorseful but I know that still doesn't excuse the fact that he responded. It sounds like this is the first time he's done this, and he wouldn't have done it at all if you hadn't done that. You were the one that created the problem.

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    • #3
      She may have created the problem but she didn't create her husband's vulnerability. I'm curious why he fell for it and I am wondering if it's the anime situation that triggered some childlike glee in him or if it is some other Japanophile fetish that he has (or that you both have) that triggered his vulnerable position. I don't think you are to blame, OP. I also don't think it's easy for a person to undo something like this and unsee or unread or unhear those things that you just did.

      If you do want to try and make this relationship work (or what's left of it), it's probably for the best that you put aside those images of those girls he used to look at (it was 8 years ago!). For someone to hang on to this it seems there might be serious rifts between the both of you and much bigger problems. Why do you feel this continues to bother you? Do you think this is normal for you?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Dazed & Confused View Post
        His use of porn made you feel insecure. I don't believe you created a fake account for the reason you stated. You fully intended to catfish and test him. It was for no other reason but you were trying to justify yourself by making us believe you did it to help him. You gave him his fantasy girl, did you think he wouldnt respond to that? He sounded genuinely remorseful but I know that still doesn't excuse the fact that he responded. It sounds like this is the first time he's done this, and he wouldn't have done it at all if you hadn't done that. You were the one that created the problem.
        I understand that, but in the first minutes I was really going to tell him, I also would ask him when he arrived from work if he would like me to back him up (in this app you can earn more points if you have a buddy who supports you in some actions in the comunnity) it was my first intention in the first, let's say, 5 minutes, but when he sent an inbox to me (until that I was talking with him on open comments of the community) I saw an opportunity, and sandly I felt for it, I knew that it was wrong and yet I went foward and from that point I started acting as a dream girl. I agree with you.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Rose Mosse View Post
          She may have created the problem but she didn't create her husband's vulnerability. I'm curious why he fell for it and I am wondering if it's the anime situation that triggered some childlike glee in him or if it is some other Japanophile fetish that he has (or that you both have) that triggered his vulnerable position. I don't think you are to blame, OP. I also don't think it's easy for a person to undo something like this and unsee or unread or unhear those things that you just did.

          If you do want to try and make this relationship work (or what's left of it), it's probably for the best that you put aside those images of those girls he used to look at (it was 8 years ago!). For someone to hang on to this it seems there might be serious rifts between the both of you and much bigger problems. Why do you feel this continues to bother you? Do you think this is normal for you?
          I'm not an attractive girl, I had a problem with a past relationship with a guy who would sent me messages about how his friends mocked me by being ugly. When I started dating my husband he made me feel like I was the most beautiful in the world, and I was happy, but when I found the images (and the fact that he broke the cd where the images were, which for years I believed that he broke it because he was angry because I found it) made me realize that I was not what he wanted and that he was with me because I was the one who started it all. He reallys like japanese girls, but I'm just on the anime and music thing, nothing like his. I don't even need to say what kind of photo I used to make things work.

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