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  • should i leave him

    ill this keep this short, I have one child age 10 previous partner, we get on great father etc, met guy 6 years ago 3 kids clicked very quick he was very keen to get together move in etc, couldn't love me more, then the signs started didn't like me dressing up with out him , going out with friends , paro , jelous etc, all over time not suddenly, started talking and causing trouble about my x collecting my daughter, sayin I still loved him, accusing me of ringing behind his back etc, him and his x hate each other so they do not get on, he moved in kids up every weekend while mine is gone, didn't mind that but after time I realised he doesn't have any interest in my child doesn't play bearly speaks to her, she also has special needs so it quite hard on me but she is everything I could ask for , so I do get a little break weekends when she goes but then his kids up and im left looking after them, they have stole money out my home , broke stuff etc, anyway every week there is trouble with his kids hes getting phone calls saying the mother is letting them run wild, in the house on there own so he is stressed, but he keeps bringing the trouble in to my home , im getting back lash of everything that happens, his moods, out bursts, calls me names, all I ever done was try help, he then text me one day saying he taking the 3 kids to live with us, its my home not his , he works full time and I work we live about 40 mins away from there school , so massive argument as it would never work who would drop them school etc, who would pay for them if he gave up work, he lives in my home and pays half the shopping that's it, I pay for everything else, now the kids getting older more trouble everyday there is something that has him in bad humour totally understand its his kids and he is stressed, but I cant take it anymore, every day me and my child have to put up with his moods, I am only happy when he is not there I am at my wits end, I have anxiety all the time going home , I rent my home, I am trying to get a mortgage next year all I can afford it is a 2 bed house, he went mental when he heard this as there is no rooms for his kids, he said we buy together a 3 bed, but my child has special needs she will never work I need to have something there for her is I ever go , and by buying with him he has 3 kids it would be a nightmare as if I passed where would this leave my child, I don't want to sound cruel but as a mother I have to put my child first as he should his, I feel used all the time , I cook clean wash do everything for him and get no thanks, since I met him the trouble I have had to go through, but he will not leave either, he is a good man just with a lot of troubles but I have tried so hard there is nothing left of me to give anymore, I am afraid of falling deeper in to depression over him and the kids, some advice please

  • #2
    It's time to start facing the facts here Amy.
    You deserve a lot better than what this guy is offering you. You sound like a great mother and a caring, nurturing partner. He doesn't deserve you and he never will.

    You want to do what's best for you and your daughter? Walk away.
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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    • #3
      Amy, I'm NOT sure you deserve better than what you have if you're so willing to be a doormat. You allowed someone you barely knew to move in with you, and then you allowed him to take advantage of you on many levels. You are reaping the results of your poor choices.

      If you don't like the situation you've put yourself in, then I suggest that you give him a deadline to move out of your place. If he causes a commotion, then serve him an official eviction notice. If you're renting the place, does the landlord know you've moved all these people in?
      "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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      • #4
        Amyx2: You've done a pretty good job narrating your story and you already have your own thoughts and feelings. I'm curious - what do you want to do?

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        • #5
          I didn't fiinish reading, you need to kick them all out if your life, NOW. His kids are not your responsibility. You shouldn't be taking care of them, paying for them or being bullied by him to pick them up from school. They are all taking advantage of you and massively disrespecting you. Your only responsibility is your daughter. Keep her safe. Get rid of that disrespectful asshole and his minions.

          ​​​​​

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          • #6
            amyamy Yes, you should leave your partner from hell. Your child and you are top priority.
            "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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            • #7
              Tell him to take his children and GET OUT and do it when you have a strong male role model with you. Either a male friend, a male relative or the police.

              You have to make sure you are providing for your daughter in her future and this asshole you've hooked your star to is just going to be the evil "step mother" and his children the "cruel stepdaughters" to your daughter's "Cinderella."

              Do SOMETHING now.
              "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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              • #8
                I am so sorry. This sounds very stressful and overwhelming. Have you done counseling? You mentioned depression and I hope you have someone to work with on that. That person can also give you guidance on your next steps. You deserve happiness and peace

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