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Should I ask for a promise ring?

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  • Should I ask for a promise ring?

    My boyfriend and I have a strong relationship thats going on 2 years now. We both are committed but not ready for marriage, but I was thinking that I wanted a promise ring. He is not one to really care about rings so I don't see him actually going out and getting one unless he knows I want one. And he also doesnt take hints too well.

    Would it be wrong to ask for a promise ring?

  • #2
    What do you hope it will accomplish or mean by having a promise ring? A promise of what? You've said you're both not ready for marriage.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      Gee I thought promise rings went out with bell bottoms. I got a promise ring about 45 years ago but I haven't heard of them being popular at all in this day and age.

      Christmas is coming, perhaps you could pick out something inexpensive and point it out to him as something you would like for Christmas instead of putting pressure on him to promise you something.
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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      • #4
        What do you mean he doesn't take hints too well? He's got to be seriously daft or self-absorbed not to be connected to you heart and soul in your relationship. He is either NOT paying attention to you as well as you think nor does he care about you that much OR he really is dull as a doorknob. Having said this I don't think it's a bad idea for you do hold up a picture card for him to get the message but it begs the question, why should you??

        Be smart about this and maybe you want to ask yourself if he's the right guy for you in general or whether you even know each other in these 2 years as well as you ought to. I'm not discrediting your relationship of 2 years but I am wondering why he doesn't have a clue nor does he seem to have the sense to EVER know whether you want a ring (re: your comment that he doesn't take hints). It seems like his cluelessness in general might cause friction in the long run. I don't know about you but I wouldn't last very long with this guy.

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        • #5

          SeveralGrand If you're both committed, discussed marriage, not ready for the official proposal and marriage stage but want a promise ring, then yes, you can more than hint your desire for one. A lot of guys are clueless about promise rings and only know of engagement rings. I'm not even sure if promise rings are still given but I guess it is in this day and age for some couples.

          I don't think it would be wrong to ask for a promise ring. He can't read your mind so you have to speak your mind. Don't give him hints either. Tell him directly but nicely so one of these days he can "surprise" you with a promise to propose to you someday when he's ready and when both of you are ready. A promise ring sounds like a sweet promise and sincere intentions for your future marriage.
          "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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          • #6
            What is a promise ring? Whatís the point?

            If youíre not ready for a long-term commitment, what does a promise ring symbolize?

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Pollon View Post
              What is a promise ring? Whatís the point?

              If youíre not ready for a long-term commitment, what does a promise ring symbolize?
              A promise ring symbolizes that an engagement ring is imminent but don't know when because the couple's not ready yet or the guy is not ready to financially support a future together. A promise ring says, "I have sincere intentions to marry you but not right now." It's a way to get hopes up so the girl doesn't feel as if she is wasting her time, energy and resources on a man if he doesn't have sincere intentions to marry her eventually; hopefully not in the too distant future.
              "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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              • #8
                Pollon Not imminent. I meant forthcoming.
                "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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