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his best friend's spouse is passive agressive with me

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  • his best friend's spouse is passive agressive with me

    The spouse of his best friends always texts my boyfriend of 4 years, she advises him thar they will come by at 9pm on a freaking wendsday when I work full time and I have an 8year old. She always imposed her plans on the group of friends, now she just got a baby so its even harder to explain to my boyfriend how rude this behavior is. I am made aware of the plans last minute. I dud say I was hurt by this but he does not support me, for him its all good. How can explain to him? How to get heard? All I want is for her to understand she can't just impose the schedule like this...

  • #2
    When she comes over, pull her aside and tell her that from now on, she is to contact YOU if they want to visit and that visiting on weekdays is inconvenient.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      ^^^ yes, agree.

      OP: Why are you so meek and mild about this? I'd be telling her outright that Wed is not convenient for you or the kid(s) due to work/school so how about you come by Friday or Saturday night instead.

      Stop allowing this for yourself. If your husband is so laid back about it then you choosing a convenient time should be no issue for him.
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Mina88 View Post
        The spouse of his best friends always texts my boyfriend of 4 years, she advises him thar they will come by at 9pm on a freaking wendsday when I work full time and I have an 8year old. She always imposed her plans on the group of friends, now she just got a baby so its even harder to explain to my boyfriend how rude this behavior is. I am made aware of the plans last minute. I dud say I was hurt by this but he does not support me, for him its all good. How can explain to him? How to get heard? All I want is for her to understand she can't just impose the schedule like this...
        This sounds like there were already plans in place for "them" to come over. People in general don't just up and come over at 9 PM as a family on a Weds with a baby. That's some random shit. Talk with your husband about how he deals with making or confirming plans. It sounds like he needs to discuss things over with you first as it affects yours and your child's schedule also. She might be texting your husband also because he is the only one who bothers to reply to her and her husband is a lazy fuck or doesn't have a cellphone. Don't deal with the other woman. She sounds like a loose cannon with a baby on her hands (hormonal). Do they text each other about other things besides logistics or organizing to meet up? Do you have a history of not getting along with this woman also? Why jump to the conclusion that she's passive aggressive towards you? I'm curious as this suggests that there is something to be upset about.
        Last edited by Rose Mosse; October 11th, 2018, 10:44 AM.

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