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How to move on this relationship?

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  • How to move on this relationship?

    Hi all,

    So recently I opened up to a girl about my feelings for her and this is the first time my crush had feelings for me as well so itís a wonderful feeling. However Iím starting to get a little concerned about what the next step is. We have now been together for 3 weeks and have seen each other 5 times. Just at home, we sit on the bed, donít know what to talk about, eventually we kiss and after a few hours we wish each other good night and thatís it. It is very nice, but I feel like we should now do things together and get to know each other and Iím not quite sure how to approach this. Please help me out!!

    Best,
    mrnhrtkmp

  • #2
    How old are the two of you?
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      mrnhrtkmp21 Why don't you have some activities lined up so you're not just sitting and staring at each other? How about some outings? Exercise? Walks, picnics, go out for meals, visit museums, have excursions or what have you. Do something fun and enjoyable and / or intellectually stimulating as well. Don't just sit on the bed because that's not a healthy way to start any relationship. Get to really know each others personality and characters first. Establish friendship. Know whom you're with. It's also healthy to have discussions outside the subject of relationships because you'll discover how both of you think, act, behave and what your philosophies are which apply to life and interacting with people. This girl should be your best friend first and after you know in your heart that she is "thee one," that's the time you become serious boyfriend-girlfriend material.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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      • #4
        SarahLancaster I am 19 years old and she just turned 17 years old. The way we met each other is actually quite special. My sister recently committed suicide at age 16 and this girl was a very good friend of her. After some initial contact with her just about wanting to support each other, the contact got more personal and we saw each other two times to talk about what happened. Thatís when I started to grow feelings. In the three next weeks I was doubting if I would go through with this because it felt a bit strange but my feeling a for her only got stronger so finally I told her and she told me she was developing feelings for me since the initial contact.

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        • #5
          I'm very sorry for the loss of your sister.

          Do you think you two are moving so quickly, attached for the wrong reasons - trying to find comfort in one another to deal with the grief?
          It wouldn't be a healthy basis for a relationship.

          If you are with each other for the right reasons - then do what you can to build your relationship. Go out on walks, watch a show together, bake together, meet up with other friends and family..

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          • #6
            Give yourself time to grieve and don't pursue this relationship. She's also two years younger, making her a minor in most areas. If you're already 19, you're turning 20 soon. She just turned 17 which means she has a full year to turn 18. If you're sexually intimate things could get messy for you if the relationship goes south. In some areas that crime can be considered a misdemeanour and in others a felony. Human beings are largely unpredictable when it comes to relationships. Why would you want to hurt yourself or your family (that's already grieving)?

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            • #7
              Very sorry to hear about the loss of your sister.

              However I wouldnít label it as a ďspecialĒ way of meeting.
              In times of grief , people tend to seek solace from others going through the same grief. But in time realise thatís all you have in common. Very rarely there is anymore to it than that.

              Did you know this girl in person before the loss of your sister? Were there any feelings towards her back then?

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