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Do couples who knew each other before the age of 13 years old (children) have-

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  • Do couples who knew each other before the age of 13 years old (children) have-

    -a stronger bond with each other than couples who knew each other sometime from 13 years old to 19 years old (teenagers) or 20 years old to upwards (adults) do?

    In my opinion, childhood friend couples have
    bonded for very long time and developed a friendship that can out perform anything that a teenager or adult can put together with a stranger. Most teenagers and adults have been hurt by relationships that they started either as teenagers or adults, and can never get that level of trust and understanding that those couples who knew each other since childhood put together.

  • #2
    Still ANOTHER thread on the SAME topic.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      Originally posted by SarahLancaster View Post
      Still ANOTHER thread on the SAME topic.
      This is not the same topic. This is a very different one from all the other ones that I posted on here.


      • #4

        SeaDragon This is an old-fashioned notion and something out of storybooks or movies. Not that this is unheard of but the majority of people whom I know met and married during adulthood.

        Your story is reminiscent of my MIL and FIL (mother & father-in-law) because they met in the same small town they grew up in and even enrolled in the same high school. I think their story is rare nowadays due to our current transient society. People generally uproot a lot, move with their families due to jobs, retirement, schools, family situations, emergencies and the like. This is why often times childhood friends end up all over the map; everywhere within the state or across the country.

        I respect your opinion regarding childhood friends having a bond for a very long time. Keep in mind, people change, lives change and we change due to whom we meet whether friends or during relationships. We're not the same as when we were children. We either mature or remain immature which is problematic for many. Family dynamics evolve and change often times for the worse, unfortunately. Our outlook on life and what's important to us in relationships changes. We are influenced or we come from the school of hard knocks along the way.

        Memories are idyllic for people with fond childhood memories. However, innocence had been lost once we grew up to be adults because we became often times wary and jaded.

        I can't speak for everyone but my time came once I became an adult, achieved my own success, mingled with those who were also upwardly mobile and going places. Hence, I was fortunate and very lucky enough to have met my husband years ago. Btw, I trust my husband more than I trust many of my relatives! Trust and understanding can develop during adulthood and very much so!!!! We have 2 fine sons now and even though they like their childhood friends, I highly doubt, they will end up marrying them because once everyone graduates, they take their wings and tend to fly away far from where they originated from. Then I only get to see them for the holidays!


        • #5
          Originally posted by SeaDragon View Post
          -a stronger bond with each other than couples who knew each other sometime from 13 years old to 19 years old (teenagers) or 20 years old to upwards (adults) do?
          In theory, I suppose they do, but people are not machines that follow a scripted logic, they have their own logic (or not) and things, in real life, are not that simple.

          I don't know any case, so I'm only talking also theoretically, but when two people create a bond between them that bond is as strong or weak as they make it, not as time makes it. Yes, you can have two people knowing each other since early childhood and for many years but that never really trust enough in each other to tell them what they really feel and their secret wishes and dreams, and you can have two people that just met but that were able to create a strong bond that makes them have full trust in each other, so they share all their thoughts, wishes, dreams, worries, sadness, happiness, etc., as if they were one.

          What I think happens is that when people know each other from childhood they know each other from an age at which lying and pretending to be a different person is not common, so they do know a version of the other person closer to what that person may show after being an adult. But that doesn't mean that they really know each other that well, as that depends on how their relationship was.

          In conclusion, like with all other things related to human beings, it depends.


          • #6
            SeaDragon Just because people were childhood friends and grew up in the same neighborhood or city, it doesn't mean there's any stronger bond or trust than those whom we meet once we reach adulthood. People grow up, mature, or remain immature. Childhood is left behind, school years are left behind and we're no longer kids. Hence, our mindset becomes completely different. Sadly, we all drift apart because that's part of life.

            I know several people from childhood and schools from my city and none of us are who we were long ago. None of us! We've all since changed drastically. Ever since we left our hometowns, all of our lives changed due to life's experiences both good and bad, jobs, bad and good people who've entered or exited our lives and it runs the gamut. These positive and negative experiences mold who we became. We're not kids anymore. That's all in the past and should remain there.