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  • Scared of breaking up,

    I should really talk with my friends about this but I've never had such a relationship with any of my friends.

    So my girlfriend wanted to talk about us, and to me it does feel like she wants to break up with me. There's a big chance this isn't the case because our relationship is doing well. We've been together for a year and 3 months.

    She wanted to talk to me in private when we were together yesterday but we never got the chance and i didn't know at the time. We had a great time together with some friends yesterday but this morning she suddenly texted me telling me she wanted to talk about us and she wanted it to be face to face. I'm not seeing her this upcoming week and i've really been overthinking this to the point that i actually feel sick thinking about what's going to happen. I asked her if it was anything bad for us but she replied that she doesnt know, We've talked before about our relationship about not seeing eachother enough and that she's having a hard time with the distance but since recent she's moved closer and i've been seeing her more often.

    Now to get to the point, should i be worried, i feel really bad and i can't reallly distract myself to think about anything else. Am i really overthinking the situation? I'm not sure what to do

  • #2
    If I had to guess, I'd say she's wanting to break up. How old are you?
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      I'm 22, I might sound a bit childish and well this is my first relationship.

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      • #4
        It sounds to me like she's planning to break up. Sorry.

        Now, as this is your first relationship you don't know this yet, but break ups suck for a while, and then it gets better.
        It's not the end of the world, even though it feels that way.
        Remember that!
        You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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        • #5
          Noidig It wasn't meant to be. In order to find a compatible person, often times, it is trial and error. Often times, it will require many relationships in order to find "thee one." I'm sorry it's a lonely world out there but a special girl is out there for you. Patience is key.

          I've noticed on this forum that there are a lot of lonely people looking for Mr. Right or Miss Right. I'm married and I was in the same boat once. What helped me was to whittle down my groups of men and then I became more specific. My friends and family knew a lot of people, pre-screened them for me, did their homework for me and introduced me to eligible bachelors with stellar, exemplary characters. (For men, they can be introduced to eligible, single women.) I joined singles groups at church and found the type of men I would want to settle down with. You won't find them at a singles bar. If you're searching for high quality men and women, go where they are. Where are they? What are they doing? They're go-getters, that's what. They're quite serious and concentrating on a proper life. They're in college, at work, church, they volunteer in their communities (help the disadvantaged - - they're empathetic), they're upwardly mobile and going places in life. You need to know where they are otherwise you're wasting your time, energy and resources on dating a huge pool of men from society and it's a great big world out there. Narrow your search and if you can, ask people for "references" before taking the risk of dating someone you'll regret. I've noticed between myself and friends that if you're extremely picky and choosy, this is what creates long lasting, established, very settled, permanent relationships and marriages IMHO.

          My mother and siblings have failed relationships and marriages because they didn't listen to their intuition and do what I had done. Become shrewd and smart because it will pay off later.
          "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Noidig View Post
            I should really talk with my friends about this but I've never had such a relationship with any of my friends.

            So my girlfriend wanted to talk about us, and to me it does feel like she wants to break up with me. There's a big chance this isn't the case because our relationship is doing well. We've been together for a year and 3 months.

            She wanted to talk to me in private when we were together yesterday but we never got the chance and i didn't know at the time. We had a great time together with some friends yesterday but this morning she suddenly texted me telling me she wanted to talk about us and she wanted it to be face to face. I'm not seeing her this upcoming week and i've really been overthinking this to the point that i actually feel sick thinking about what's going to happen. I asked her if it was anything bad for us but she replied that she doesnt know, We've talked before about our relationship about not seeing eachother enough and that she's having a hard time with the distance but since recent she's moved closer and i've been seeing her more often.

            Now to get to the point, should i be worried, i feel really bad and i can't reallly distract myself to think about anything else. Am i really overthinking the situation? I'm not sure what to do
            Maybe she’s pregnant?
            Or got offered a job further away?

            How has your contact been since?

            I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions , wait until you see her.

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            • #7
              Thank you guys for all the responses, i'm seeing her tomorrow and she told me what she's feeling. There's a big chance she's breaking up with me. No point in dwelling on the past though i'll go forwards. Ofcourse i'll miss her, ill miss everything we've ever done together.

              She told me she finds it unfair, how much i love her and still actually having butterflies after a year of dating her and that it's not the case with her, she loves me but she isn't in love with me the same as in the beginning.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Noidig View Post
                Thank you guys for all the responses, i'm seeing her tomorrow and she told me what she's feeling. There's a big chance she's breaking up with me. No point in dwelling on the past though i'll go forwards. Ofcourse i'll miss her, ill miss everything we've ever done together.

                She told me she finds it unfair, how much i love her and still actually having butterflies after a year of dating her and that it's not the case with her, she loves me but she isn't in love with me the same as in the beginning.
                So she didn’t end up telling you face to face?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post

                  So she didn’t end up telling you face to face?
                  She will tomorrow i asked her what it was about since i had a hard time waiting for something so important and she gave me the jest of it. I'm hoping we'll be fine, but if that isn't the best for us i'm okay with breaking up if that's what she really wants

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Noidig View Post

                    She will tomorrow i asked her what it was about since i had a hard time waiting for something so important and she gave me the jest of it. I'm hoping we'll be fine, but if that isn't the best for us i'm okay with breaking up if that's what she really wants
                    It may have boiled down to neediness on your part and that might have been the chat she wanted to have?
                    But on persistence on your part to need to know, also might have tipped her over the edge?
                    Does that sound feasible or likely to you?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post

                      It may have boiled down to neediness on your part and that might have been the chat she wanted to have?
                      But on persistence on your part to need to know, also might have tipped her over the edge?
                      Does that sound feasible or likely to you?
                      I dont think that's the case, i'm not very needy, it might seem like i am but i dont think it has anything to do with this. I guess she just grew apart from me

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Noidig View Post

                        I dont think that's the case, i'm not very needy, it might seem like i am but i dont think it has anything to do with this. I guess she just grew apart from me
                        Has there been any indicators prior to this that she wasn’t as into you as you were her?

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post

                          Has there been any indicators prior to this that she wasn’t as into you as you were her?
                          Not really, in my mind everything went well this past year, maybe we should have talked before it came to this point.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Noidig View Post

                            Not really, in my mind everything went well this past year, maybe we should have talked before it came to this point.
                            Be prepared to listen and actually hear her out.
                            If what she says to you is something you can fix then discuss further.
                            If she wants out then accept with dignity and respect for her decision.
                            Good luck!

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post

                              Be prepared to listen and actually hear her out.
                              If what she says to you is something you can fix then discuss further.
                              If she wants out then accept with dignity and respect for her decision.
                              Good luck!
                              Thank you for your advice

                              Comment

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