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To travel or to commit?

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  • To travel or to commit?

    So here's my dilemma..

    I met my partner whilst at university. He was just about to graduate and I had just started, after taking two years out to work abroad.
    We've been together almost 2 years now. I have another year left of study, but he has now been working for a year and has moved into his second job which he loves.

    ​​​​​​Basically, I'm torn as to whether I want to stay here, move in with him and do the whole marriage and kids deal, or to go back to working overseas. He said early on in the relationship that he would go wherever I go, but now, with a new job and getting into a career, I don't think he wants to move away. I did mention to him ideas about moving abroad, but he says "that's not the plan".

    Since day 1 he's known I'm eager to travel and see the world, but I think he sees it now that just going on nice holidays each year is enough. I don't feel like this is going to be enough for me.. Am I wasting my time here or am I just asking for too much?

  • #2
    Has he proposed?
    You have a year left of study so why are you overly concerned right now?

    People say all kinds of daft things when in the honeymoon period such as Iíll go wherever you go.
    Circumstances change so I donít think he really went back on his word.

    Some love to experience different cultures over a two week holiday , others want to live it over an extended Period of time.
    If you both think opposite then maybe there is a compromise whereby you spend 6 months after study travelling while maintaining a long distance relationship.

    His career is starting to take off and it would be unwise of him to halt that . So no you shouldnít insist he travel with you.
    You have over a year before you can kick start your career. Once you do , your priorities might change. Like his has.

    Certainly do not accept his proposal while you are uncertain of your future plans.


    • #3
      He has not proposed yet, but marriage and moving in together is something we've always talked about once I've graduated.

      I've started to question this all now because from next month, I have to start applying for graduate jobs, so I'm thinking a lot now about where those jobs are going to be based.

      We have been somewhat long distance over the last year (about an hour by train), as he has moved in with his parents until I finish studying.



      • #4
        Originally posted by Rose123 View Post
        So Am I wasting my time here or am I just asking for too much?
        You're wasting his time.

        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


        • #5
          Brutal.. But I see your point. I feel like I've always been upfront about what I want, but now he seems unsure if he wants that too?