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Husband finilly admits what he does to me

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  • Husband finilly admits what he does to me

    I met my husband when I was 18, married at 21, but I'm struggling to understand why my husband has been doing a behaviour that I've finally wont accept it no longer, this year I've put my foot and finally been added to the mortgage, I'm now starting to address the way he would allow me to be adused emotionally, sexually and verbally abused by people in our social network, for example he allowed a flat mate, male, older, chase me, intimate me, I run away scared, untill my 11 son had to stop what he was doing while, my husband sat downstairs eating ceral.
    The next morning i beg him to ask him to leave, he explains we can't just throw him out no where to go, and I suffer hiding away in my bedroom for 6 weeks, in fear we pass in hallway or kitchen.
    Another occasion a casual friend, throws a pint glass, aiming for the person next to me, but he hits me by mistake in the head, the pub erupts in concern and their shouting and screaming, again in fear I call my husband to come get out of there, he turns up in my car, sees the bloke being thrown out for attacking me and he feels it was more important to offer this person I lift in my car to a town 8 miles away, I'm shocked at his offer, explain that he was the one who hit me, and get him out of car, he tells me to get in and say not untill you get him away from me and ny car, he choose to drive that man home, leaving standing there car less, no money, no keys and in all the confession the pub had closed and this left me alone, with a sore head and I had to wait 40mins for him to return at 11.45pm at night, I was then told it was choice to not get in...
    So over the years I've adapted to learn and not need him, or find myself in a position where I may be valuable.
    But this is not normal.
    He allowed a man on holiday to sexual touch me under the table and when i told him what he was doing he said move chairs. His best mate tried to make inappropriate gestures and be sexually explicit to me, when I told him, his responds best to just keep out the way maybe.
    He appears to be unable to understand, that allowing these people to aduse me in past, is no different from if was to at his own hand.
    Leaving not something I can do.
    I love him.
    I love our home, the holidays, the days, we don't really fight, but this is the only issus.
    Why cant this man be able to understand that I need me to pick me, stand by me. Never side over my own safety over anyone. No matter who they are..
    How can I tell me he needs to be a man who dont allow this to happen to me.
    I don't a divorce
    I want my man to be able to stand up for me
    I'm sure that its confrontation his avoiding
    That its easier to get to change my behaviour then address the people who have done this to me behaviour
    We now 35 and 52...

    I don't wanna start over I need advice to make him see that he needs to be able to stand up for me

  • #2
    Your husband is who he is. If you're not going to leave him for refusing to be your knight in shining armor, then you need to learn that he is not who you want him to be and drop your expectations of him.
    I need advice to make him see that he needs to be able to stand up for me
    He's not going to stand up for you as he sees no need to. Have you ever told him that "he needs to be able to stand up" for you? If so, what did he say in response?
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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    • #3
      He's only just started to be aware of how much pain this has given me, he added he wants to put me first, I'm so sorry I said but him just saying he will change is not enough I want him to get advise on why he's been like this. He admits he's not been putting me First

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      • #4
        He is the only person that can make him change, if he is honest about wanting to change he will at least try to do it.

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        • #5
          Why are you being bullied on your social network? Why not just pull the plug completely and eradicate that bullshit?
          You're 35 and 52. Who is this flat mate living with you? And why are you anywhere near this person or not reporting it to the police instead of cowering for six weeks?
          You got hit by a poorly aimed glass at a pub that was an accident but you took it personally for some reason. Wtf were you doing at the pub without your own car? Are you an alcoholic? It sounds like you were piss drunk and your husband was fed up of your drama.
          YOU allowed a man to sexually touch you under the table. What's your husband supposed to do? Throw a bread stick at him to make him stop?

          Here's some advice: change your attitude and start making wiser decisions.

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          • #6
            Wow you are a drama queen.

            It was a casual friend that through the glass and accidentally hit you.
            He did NOT attack you. Your husband offered this mutual friend a lift home only.
            He did NOT put this guy above you , he put him above your dramatics only.

            Why were you at the pub without your husband, without keys and without money?
            Who was paying for your drinks?

            And why did YOU allow a man to sexually abuse you under a table? Why didnít YOU speak up?
            Are you in a wheelchair? Paralysed from waist down? Why didnít you move?

            Why are you expecting your husband to stick up for you , when you wonít even do it yourself?

            I feel sorry for your husband to be honest.

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