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Worth staying? Differences in kid raising and jealousy

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  • Worth staying? Differences in kid raising and jealousy

    So my girlfriend, while great with my kids, i feel has some jealousy towards my six-year-old daughter almost like she has to compete with her for my love. But the same time maybe sheís not all wrong and that I treat her different than my eight-year-old son. Her two biggest complaints are when my daughter comes down in the middle the night to my bedroom I will let her sleep with me. Mostly itís because Iím really tired And donít want to have to wake up to take her back to her bedroom and explain to her that she needs to sleep in her own bed. Now, is it not a big deal that she want to sleep in our bed and should she be allowed to. or should I definitely be returning her to her bed and explain to her that she needs to sleep in her own bed?

    another shoe this morning was as my girlfriend is coming upstairs my daughter said I want to scare her waited for her to get to the top of the stairs and came around the corner and yelled loudly. Now I was expecting her to say boo not expecting a loud yell but it upset my girlfriend because it hurt her ears and honestly it was obnoxious Lee loud. My girlfriend told her to stop that and that was it nice and it hurt her ears and I sat there and didnít say anything. Now she feels like I am against her and that I shouldíve said something to my daughter at that time and that since I didnít say anything to my daughter that I view my girlfriend as the bed. I do not View her as the bad guy and agree that the loud yelling is unnecessary. I feel that I shouldíve said something but just because I didnít doesnít mean Iím against her and I agree with her actually.

    No my issue is with these two things that has completely ruined her day around us and she left to go do some work projects at the public library to get away for a couple hours. Is this normal? Unhealthy? How should I handle this? I told her that I agreed with her response to my daughter on the loud yelling. I told her no my issue is with these two things has completely ruined her day around us and she left to go do some work projects at the public library to get away for a couple hours. Is this normal? Unhealthy? How should I handle this? I told her that I agreed with her response to my daughter on the loud yelling. She has been mentioning that she doesnít like my daughter sleeping in bed with us and that I need to work on getting her to sleep in her own bed. When I agree with that itís only been a couple months and Iím trying some of these things take time. She mentions that she looks at the long-term and feels sheís in a losing battle because I will always favor my daughter and let her get away with murder. I guess Iím just looking for some advice on how to handle the situation

  • #2
    You have to balance it out, if you're looking at long term then your daughter has to learn to respect her in ever way possible, because she's probably doing what she can to raise her as well, It shouldn't be a battle your girlfriend has to learn how to love your daughter as well or get some attachment towards her. You're not the problem and you're not being biased because it's what you believe in but you have to encourage the both of them to get to know each other and like each other because you don't wanna end up them hating each other and it ruining your relationship, and you have to encourage your daughter to stay in her own bed because them she'll be too dependent on you, but it shouldn't be a problem if she stays with you and your girlfriend, just not every single night.

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    • #3
      I am dating a guy with three kids (so, I can relate to some of this). Your daughter sleeping in the bed would bother me- the loud yelling in the morning just seems like a joke and your GF should get that- it seems she's overreacting a bit.

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      • #4
        You should be raising your daugther in a way that feels right for you. Follow your beliefs about good parenting. You can listen to input from others around you, but in the end you have to find the truth in yourself.
        Being tired - FYI - is not a good reason to use a certain parenting technique or not. So ask yourself: would you be returning your daughter to bed if you weren't tired and sleeping? If the answer is yes, then you get your ass up and put her back into her own bed, every time.

        Now, your girlfriend sounds like a spoiled princess who can't handle there being more than 1 important person in your life. I'm guessing she doesn't have children, does she?
        Your daughter is a kid. Kids do stupid things sometimes. They yell, break stuff, they misbehave when they are tired, they get cranky. Children don't raise themselves. They need time, repetition and consistent rules to learn. If your girlfriend doesn't see this, then she's not cut out to be an important person in your childrens lives.
        Are your children with you full-time? If not, could you limit the times you see your girlfriend and she sleeps over to child-free days?
        You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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