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Boyfriend cries all the time - help!

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  • Boyfriend cries all the time - help!

    I know it is not right to see men as tough creatures that shouldn't cry. I appreciate men's emotions and they can cry too. Usually when men cry, I know i should be there to comfort them because it must be difficult for them.
    But with my boyfriend, he cries all the time. It is safe to say that he cries in every argument no matter how small or big it is, often sympathizing himself in the process of wailing.

    For example, we were having a little argument over me criticizing the company he works for for how they treat him (i'm criticizing the company in his defense), and he said i was overreacting, then he cried saying how much he has done for our relationship (totally unrelated subject). Next one. We were cuddling, and suddenly he cried saying he remembered his parents and sympathizing for them (his parents are doing well in another city, well off). He cried in front of his male supervisor saying he hadn't performed well and asked for a hug. YES. Asked his boss for a hug because he cried.

    He would cry whenever and wherever we are to the point that I feel it's ridiculous. In the mall, on the street, while driving, you name it. All over tiny arguments that could have been easily settled without drama. Small arguments like he wants to look for a particular dress for his mom at a place we are at while i said no not here, because that place we are at doesn't have any dress of that kind.

    I don't know about men's ego, but why is this one so hard to deal with? Touch his ego a bit and he would cry. I don't know what I'm dealing with anymore. Jeez I don't even cry that much!
    He also cries every time he feels sick. Name it, sore throat, chills, colds, jeez i'm tired of being his mom. Last night was worst. He had a sore throat and caught a fever while on the way of taking me home. He cried on the way, I saw he was like dying. I understand it must have felt really unpleasant because of the fever, so we rushed him to the doctor, doctor said just a sore throat and fever no biggie and gave med. We got home and I got him everything he needed. Make sure he ate, took his med, changed his clothes, wiped him clean with warm water, AND he cried nagging me to take him to the ER and that he get hospitalized. I hesitated and said no, because the ER wouldn't see this as emergency anyway and he'd be sent home. No, he insisted and nagged, caused me a lot of stress, so i took him to the a hospital, to the ER we went. ER said it was no emergency, they checked, it was sore throat and fever. Fever wasn't too high either. Gave him paracetamol on fluid and sent him home. They wouldn't even let him stay 1 night at the hospital like he requested because there was apparently no need! Until then would he believe me when I said "I told you." All fuss was done at like 12 midnight and caused me getting sick today (I woke early in the morning that day and had to wake up early today too bcs of work). I feel he is inconsiderate to put me under such situation when he clearly didn't need to. I don't understand whether this is what comes with love, or am i just dating a mommy's crybaby.

  • #2
    Your'e dating a mommy's cry baby!

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    • #3
      Even if he was a girl, this alount of crying is just bizarre.
      Imagine what happens if he ever has a real problem.

      I wouldn't have your patience. Move along.
      You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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      • #4
        It definitely seems kind of bizarre. Crying is normal, guys do it too, but definitely not as often as your boyfriend does. It almost makes me think there might be some sort of hormonal imbalance. Is he depressed at all? As for making you take him to the ER for a sore throat and fever and wanting to stay over night... It kind of seems like attention seeking behavior. He just sounds really self centered and self-pitying. Maybe it's just his personality, but if I were you I don't know if I could put up with it.

        I would ask if you've sat down and talked to him about his behaviors and your concerns, but I think if you did it probably ended up with him crying.

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        • #5
          I think you're very foolish to remain in a relationship with a 'boyfriend.' He is not even your spouse nor are you engaged so why enable him to be this mentally ill little boy by catering to his dementia like you did by taking him to emergency? You do him zero favors with your enabling.

          Get yourself out of his life and before you go, recommend he get the psychiatric counseling he needs... then say goodbye.
          Last edited by phasesofthemoon; July 14th, 2018, 01:05 PM.
          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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          • #6
            That's not normal, so you either turn into his carer or just send him the way he came.

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            • #7
              Everytime you comfort him when he cries is enabling his behaviour.
              Its like he never learned to self soothe and does whatever he can to get someone else to soothe him.
              Clearly his mother and father did a bad job of teaching him.

              But as an adult he needs to learn to.
              So stop being his carer, mother and start being his teacher.

              Everytime he cries for no good reason , tell him firmly and calmly that he is overreacting and walk away from the situation.
              Similar to giving a two year old time out.

              Its either that or leave him!

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              • #8
                Your husband may be suffering from depression or other mental illness. He should speak to a doctor. I know that I had problems that went away after I sought mental health. Depression can have a lot of different symptoms so have him talk to a doctor. Maybe just talk therapy will help him.

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                • #9
                  I agree with the others. I think there are other layers and this may very well be related to mental health issues. It shouldn't be treated with a stigma and he should get help for it. Does he also display outbursts of anger at any given time or have massive (seemingly insurmountable) fears regarding fear of abandonment? Try not to start diagnosing anything before you've both (or he) seeks help. If he refuses to seek help you may want to re-evaluate whether this behaviour is something you can live with.

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                  • #10
                    @Daisybud


                    I feel Sad for you but This is Radicals
                    how long have you been with him ? and what do u like about his man hood if I may ask ?

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                    • #11
                      As aa person who sufferas from mental health issues, might I suggest some counseling, even a visit to a decent GP may help him immensely, it did with me.

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                      • #12
                        Hey Im Depressed all the Time and Complaining every minute because I don't get Enough P000Sy

                        Is that also Mental and have to go to the Doctored for that ?/

                        No I don't think so Just Because IM horny it does mean he is sick

                        ​​​​​​​That's my 2 cents

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by MadBoxx View Post
                          Hey Im Depressed all the Time
                          Is that also Mental and have to go to the Doctored for that ?/
                          Yes...


                          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hi everyone, thanks for all your replies. I have read them and tried to do what was suggested. Though i have not left him yet. First I sat down and talked to him about this issue. The feedback I got was "this is who i am, i'm sensitive and soft-hearted (he always thinks he is soft while he is not) and you are supposed to accept me for who i am" kind of stuff. Sucks, i know. So, it didn't work. I read on and a lot of you suggested that this is a mental health problem (probably depression etc) and I agree. I'm trying to get us to counseling and see where it goes.

                            Originally posted by Rose Mosse View Post
                            I agree with the others. I think there are other layers and this may very well be related to mental health issues. It shouldn't be treated with a stigma and he should get help for it. Does he also display outbursts of anger at any given time or have massive (seemingly insurmountable) fears regarding fear of abandonment? Try not to start diagnosing anything before you've both (or he) seeks help. If he refuses to seek help you may want to re-evaluate whether this behaviour is something you can live with.
                            As for this one, he does display outbursts of anger but not at any given time, only when we are arguing, to the point that he hit his own thigh or the wall. Should I be worried that some day he might hit me? He has never laid a finger on me so far.

                            About catering to his behavior and soothing him when he wails, I have stopped doing so, and voila he does cry less these couple of weeks and is able to control himself more.

                            As for what I like about him or why I stay, it's because he is a gentleman with me (apart from the crying thing) and he has put a lot of effort both emotionally and financially to be with me so I know he is genuine. I feel bad should I leave him, and too often i'm afraid that I will crazy because i'm honestly having strong emotions deeply with this guy. Sex is amazing and we do it on a regular basis. He respects me in a lot of ways and adapts to my lifestyle. All in all, I feel loved. Trust is never an issue as well, so things are good apart from this problem, which is a part of communication problem. Yes, we have a big issue regarding communication, which I think should be a story for another day. Thank you for putting up with my relationship drama.

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                            • #15
                              Daisy, he needs help. I've seen individuals with borderline personality disorder. I am not a psychiatrist but you're in a different world having to deal with that. BPD individuals are often also diagnosed with clinical depression and overlap. His outbursts are NOT normal and stressful on those around him. Take care of yourself above all.

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