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Am I Rushing Things

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  • Am I Rushing Things

    Hi All,

    My lady of 6 years and I broke up for about 4 months. We have been back together now for about a month and a half. Things are going ok. Our kids stayed with her half of the week until about a month ago because she decided to go to school in the evening. So, I have our kids every day. Which is fine with me because they are my kids. But, she still has us following a schedule of days of who should watch the kids during the day. I have never been able to afford child care because I have to pay her a crazy amount of money in child support. So I have to work from home on my days with the kids. Working from home is fine but not ideal because I am always in meetings. So recently I asked her to help me with child care for our kids. I dont expect her to be a stay at home mom again because it's not what she wants. But, she also doesn't want to work or at least not every day. When we got back together I thought that she was working, come to find out, she is not. She said she can't work and go to school at the same time. Anyway, we argued about it because she feels like she can use her time during the day to go shopping and other things while not working and leave the kids with me while I'm working from home. Then go to school in the evening. All while using the CS money to do these things. Then says, she is not even sure she even wants this relationship. (I know your gonna say, that she is telling me what she wants here).

    I feel like since we are together that we should be able to work together to figure out something to do with the kids during the work day. I also think that I shouldn't have to pay her child support (it is not court ordered) while we are together. But, I know that will mess up her finances, so we could work towards ending that slowly. I think we should be able to talk about these things together but she gets pissed when I bring it up.

    Am I wrong for feeling the way that I do? Am I rushing things in the relationship? Am I just being stupid for even trying to make this work? Anything helps.

  • #2
    You need to get a lawyer immediately and work out a child support schedule. She may have to get a job as part of the agreement.

    Are you not living together??
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      We are not technically any more. But, she stays at my house 6 out of 7 days of the week.


      • #4
        Talk to a lawyer. These issues should be handled smoothly and with someone with experience in family law. You'll find more sound guidance there than here on an online forum where most people tend to ask if their girlfriends are fat.