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Girlfriend tells a few people about me, but not all.

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  • Girlfriend tells a few people about me, but not all.

    We met 4 months ago and we've been official for 2 months. My problem is she feels to need to post on Facebook about her friends/family, but for me she's avoiding ways of letting Facebook friends know she's in a relationship. She'll verbally tell her half-dozen friends and her family about me and introduces me to these people as her boyfriend. After me seeing her posting pics of friends & family and not me, she told me Facebook people don't matter. But then a few weeks later she again posts pics of fun things with her friends/family. I still feel like something's up if I can't be matched with those friends/ family she'll post with Facebook about. Before this happened we bought tickets to go on vacation in August and I don't see why I shouldn't be included in a photo album for that if she post photos. She certainly shows me her dedication in all ways to me in person though so I know she's dedicated. If I should let this go maybe you can give me some insight of a female mind who doesn't want to share with social media. She said the last time she did that was when she was married. She does too much for me when we're together to think there's someone else in the picture. We met on a paid online dating website and she turned off her profile without me bringing up the relationship talk. I care about her posting us on Facebook because I don't like being singled out if I can't really understand why. The reason I'm not bringing this up to her again and writing here is I'm trying to get some advice of a reason why a female would do this (and then I would be ok with it) before talking to her. Or even though social media shouldn't matter, if there's a way I should bring it up then I'd be glad to hear that too.

  • #2
    As a man I can't really give an answer about how a female mind works, but from what I have seen it's not much different from the way a male mind works.

    In fact, I understand her point of view perfectly. While for some people social media is the most important thing in their lives, to other people it's just a way of passing the time, and facebook friends, unless also friends in real life, are not really friends, just people who we will probably never meet.

    If she tells other people, in person, that you are her boyfriend I wouldn't worry about it, as it looks like she tells it to the people that matter. Also, some people like to use social media to keep a kind of an alternative personality (I do that myself), keeping real life separated from that alternate version.


    • #3
      Hate to be the pessimist, but Id guess shes got some facebook friends who she still considers options and she isnt blasting your relationship on facebook because shes either ashamed of you or keeping backup options. Sorry. I know thats not what you want to hear


      • #4
        I have been seeing a guy for 7 months and while in that time I have posted pics at events with family and friends , I have not put any up of him. Why? Why would I? It's only been 7 months and the honeymoon period lasts up to a year. And no not all my fb friends know about him because only the people that matter know.

        We have been away for a couple of weekends but fb doesn't know that.

        It doesnt matter!!!
        He treats me like a princess and I'm not too bad to him either haha

        Be grateful that your gf doesn't post nonsense on fb. Because on the flip side if she did she would also be one of those annoying people that also air their dirty laundry on there that no one wants to see. She might post about every insignificant argument you might have.

        Stop sweating the small stuff!


        • #5
          Maggie, the honeymoon phase... standing test of time. I'm good now. Thank you


          • #6
            Md162 I'm similar to your girlfriend. I'm married yet I don't blast my life all over social media because it is unnecessary and I choose what I wish to post and what I choose not to post. I have a lot of friends on social media but they do not need to know every minutiae of my life. It's fine if they wish to post every single detail of their daily lives but it is not my way.

            There is a part of your girlfriend who wishes to retain privacy regarding her personal life and relationship with you. Respect and honor her wishes. Don't make this a big deal. If you are secure in your relationship with her, it should suffice and you don't need to tell the world about it. It's none of their business and there are times when you don't need to demonstrate to the world regarding your relationship, where you've been and where, etc. It is too much bombardment IMHO.
            "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


            • #7
              Relationship is the best way for us. It help us many ways. So we should make good relationship . Thank you all.


              • #8
                chanelle it sounds like they do know you're married though. I wish my girlfriend was like that.


                • #9
                  Md162 , As long as your girlfriend loves and cares for you, you should feel secure enough and be satisfied. If you're truly secure, you do not need the world to know because that's only between you and her and no one else. Privacy is a good thing and very precious.

                  As for social media, no, not everyone knows I'm married and I don't find the need to tell them so either.

                  Look at this way: I know several people with a lot of money but you wouldn't know it because they don't flaunt it. They don't wear their wealth on their sleeve. For all you know, they hide their affluence well because they're dressed very humbly as if they're at a garage sale. I kid you not yet they live mighty well let me tell you. They're very humble and modest in attitude and behavior because they're secure within themselves.

                  My friend lives in a 7100 sq ft house yet you'd never know it in a million years. She's on social media but she never posts anything regarding her extremely comfortable lifestyle. I have another friend who is wealthy as well yet she does not even have a social media account. Why? Because they're too secure. They don't find the need to show off. If anything, they prefer to remain low key as opposed to drawing attention to themselves. I like that.

                  I know a person who is well-to-do yet not nearly as wealthy as my aforementioned friends. However, she needs to demonstrate to her 1000 FB friends every boring detail of her daily life such as where she's at, travel destinations, recent purchases, concerts, brags about her kids ad nauseum, posts pics of her house which pales in comparison to my wealthier friends, brags about her volunteerism in her community and posts about steady, endless stream of boastful comments and pics. Why? Because she's INSECURE and wants to make sure she reminds you of your inferiority. She's a narcissist.

                  When it comes to social media, it's better to remain silent and not be showy. If you're satisfied, just remain quietly content and enjoy the good times you have with your girlfriend. There is no need to tell the world and the world about your relationship with her and the world couldn't care less anyway.
                  "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


                  • #10
                    I'll give you some insight into the female mind although I don't know what being female has anything to do with your situation. She's just individualistic and possibly has latent issues regarding her identity or lack thereof. If she isn't a confident person or very self-aware, she probably wants to exercise any ability to retain an individual identity. Two months is also just a moment in time. If you're both not on the same page or jiving with that spark or energy, this isn't the girl for you and you should be going into this with your eyes wide open. Relationships are all about energy and your partner should be bringing out the good in you, inspiring you and giving you something to talk about. If he or she isn't doing it, ask yourself why and don't settle for less.