My girlfriend and I is kind of an unusual couple, I'm my own opinion at least. When we met online on a random website (not a dating site) I was a 29-year-old virgin that had never been in any kind of relationship. She was 26 and lived alone and was prepared to live alone for the rest of her life because of bad experiences from an earlier abusive relationship. She lived in Denmark, I lived in Norway. She is a Christian, I am an atheist. She wants children, I hate kids. She loves hiking in the mountains, I love staying at home watching movies. She thinks romance is cheesy, I am a hopeless romantic.
Despite all this, and the fact that none of us was looking for a relationship, we both fell for each other, hard. And 9 months after we met online, 6 months after we met in real life and three months after we decided to go public about our relationship, she uprooted her life in Denmark and moved to another country in order to be with me. It's like we took all the accepted advice about starting a relationship with someone and moving in together and did the exact opposite of what they said. We love each other. Fiercely! I want to spend the rest of my life together with this woman, and she tells me she feels the same. I initially hated children, she has made me want them with her. I have difficulty explaining how much I love her. Our first date lasted 8 hours, our second date lasted 4 days. We where absolutly smitten with each other and spent most of the time grinning like idiots at each other. We still make each other smile every time we look at each other.
But one issue that worries me is that I'm not sure why. We are polar opposites in almost everything. We try to take part in each others interests but neither of us particularly likes doing it. Aside from the differences I listed above we are currently struggling with interior design. I hate everything she loves, and she hates everything I love. We have resorted to having her decide the style of some rooms and me deciding the style of other rooms. The living room is a mismatched set of our styles so that none of us really likes it anymore. I feel that I have compromised more than her on this subject and I also feel that she uses guilt to get her way in many cases. Today for example, I wanted to put up a ceiling fan that I had from the time I lived with my parents. I love this thing. I think it's beautiful and I love the feel of the cooler air in the room while it's running. I told her this, and she expressed right away that she really hated it. I say that I love this thing so much that I am willing to trade her another piece of furniture/home decorating if she lets me put it up. This goes back and forth for a while until she proclaims that This is been my home before it was hers, and that I own the apartment, and that she wouldn't stop me from putting it up. But then she added that she would still really hate hate it, but that she loved me, and she would feel like shit if she didn't let me. So now I feel like shit if I hang it up, but at the same time I have a small suspicion that this was her plan.
She has said similar things before too. Like that she will go to a movie with me if it makes me happy because she loves me, but ad's that she really doesn't like it. We have lived together for 9 months now and while I love this woman to death, I am starting to be worried that I won't be happy with her. We have talked about this, and she has also had the same worries.
I don't really have any specific questions other than needing to write it down and maybe get some outside eyes on the situation. Sorry for any spelling error. English is not my native language. And I am writing this on my phone. Also, sorry for the long post. It kinda kept pouring out as I wrote it.
Despite all this, and the fact that none of us was looking for a relationship, we both fell for each other, hard. And 9 months after we met online, 6 months after we met in real life and three months after we decided to go public about our relationship, she uprooted her life in Denmark and moved to another country in order to be with me. It's like we took all the accepted advice about starting a relationship with someone and moving in together and did the exact opposite of what they said. We love each other. Fiercely! I want to spend the rest of my life together with this woman, and she tells me she feels the same. I initially hated children, she has made me want them with her. I have difficulty explaining how much I love her. Our first date lasted 8 hours, our second date lasted 4 days. We where absolutly smitten with each other and spent most of the time grinning like idiots at each other. We still make each other smile every time we look at each other.
But one issue that worries me is that I'm not sure why. We are polar opposites in almost everything. We try to take part in each others interests but neither of us particularly likes doing it. Aside from the differences I listed above we are currently struggling with interior design. I hate everything she loves, and she hates everything I love. We have resorted to having her decide the style of some rooms and me deciding the style of other rooms. The living room is a mismatched set of our styles so that none of us really likes it anymore. I feel that I have compromised more than her on this subject and I also feel that she uses guilt to get her way in many cases. Today for example, I wanted to put up a ceiling fan that I had from the time I lived with my parents. I love this thing. I think it's beautiful and I love the feel of the cooler air in the room while it's running. I told her this, and she expressed right away that she really hated it. I say that I love this thing so much that I am willing to trade her another piece of furniture/home decorating if she lets me put it up. This goes back and forth for a while until she proclaims that This is been my home before it was hers, and that I own the apartment, and that she wouldn't stop me from putting it up. But then she added that she would still really hate hate it, but that she loved me, and she would feel like shit if she didn't let me. So now I feel like shit if I hang it up, but at the same time I have a small suspicion that this was her plan.
She has said similar things before too. Like that she will go to a movie with me if it makes me happy because she loves me, but ad's that she really doesn't like it. We have lived together for 9 months now and while I love this woman to death, I am starting to be worried that I won't be happy with her. We have talked about this, and she has also had the same worries.
I don't really have any specific questions other than needing to write it down and maybe get some outside eyes on the situation. Sorry for any spelling error. English is not my native language. And I am writing this on my phone. Also, sorry for the long post. It kinda kept pouring out as I wrote it.
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