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  • Facebook relationship?

    Hey Guys,

    So i have been with my s/o for a year and a half. we had eachother as in a relationship on Facebook for the first year. then he started hiding it from his profile and id noticed and mentioned it and he made it public again. so we took a short break, went single on fb and now were back together and he point blank REFUSES to be in a relationship with me on facebook!! why?? is this normal ??

  • #2
    There are a whole lot of people out there in the world who don't live by social media.
    There's nothing wrong with not throwing your personal information out onto the internet for everyone to see.

    So, aside from the facebook status. Are there other signs that he's not willing to show/tell the people in his life that you're his girlfriend?
    - Has he introduced you as his girlfriend to his friends and family?
    - Do you go out in public and act as a couple (holding hands, walking close together, kiss or cuddle)?
    - If you run into someone he knows in public, does he introduce you as his girlfriend? Does he introduce you at all?
    - Do you go to busy places together, or does he keep you 'hidden'?

    If you've answered no on any of these above questions, we'll give it another look.
    Otherwise, respect the fact that your boyfriend doesn't feel like sharing his private life with the whole world and leave it at that.
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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    • #3
      Originally posted by varns123 View Post
      Hey Guys,

      So i have been with my s/o for a year and a half. we had eachother as in a relationship on Facebook for the first year. then he started hiding it from his profile and id noticed and mentioned it and he made it public again. so we took a short break, went single on fb and now were back together and he point blank REFUSES to be in a relationship with me on facebook!! why?? is this normal ??
      Yes it's normal for some and not for others.
      If his profile states he is single then maybe that's not cool.
      But if he simply has his relationship status hidden like I do that's fine.
      I am in a relationship , my fb does not suggest I am. So what? Who cares? My partner certainly doesn't and why would he?
      He trusts me. Why do you not trust yours? It's not because of his fb, ffs!

      Comment


      • #4
        What reasons does he give you for not wanting to change his status? Is he worried your relationship won't last? Or does he have people who he thinks would maybe disapprove if they knew you were dating?

        Honestly, I would not be very comfortable with him refusing to change his status. I don't use Facebook a lot, but I know that a lot of people use it and use it in particular to find people to talk to and potentially date or hook up with. If my boyfriend refused to change his status to say in a relationship or refused to reveal on Facebook who exactly he is in a relationship with, I'd feel kind of like he was embarrassed of me or wanted to hide me. That seems kind of shallow and insecure, but I think if he is serious about your relationship he should be comfortable enough to put it out there that you are in a relationship.

        As for what Maggie said, about it being kind of a trust thing... I don't think him wanting you to change his status shows you don't trust him. I would get upset if my boyfriend refused to list himself as in a relationship with me not because I wouldn't trust him if he didn't (although it would make me wonder about what he's using his Facebook for), but because him refusing to reveal that information to his friends and family would make me feel like he is ashamed or embarrassed of me. Which, like I said, would not be cool with me. Maybe I'm insecure, but I don't feel like asking your boyfriend to change his status is asking too much of him.

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        • #5
          Inconsistent. This is a red flag whether anyone likes fb or any social media.

          Also if it means a lot to you, it should be no shirt off his back to simply flip the status. I'd err on the side of caution because his defensiveness and belligerence. Unless he's a political freak (for privacy issues) or some other stance, this shouldn't be a big deal for him if it means a lot to you.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Rose Mosse View Post
            Also if it means a lot to you, it should be no shirt off his back to simply flip the status.
            This. This right here!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Rose Mosse View Post
              Inconsistent. This is a red flag whether anyone likes fb or any social media.

              Also if it means a lot to you, it should be no shirt off his back to simply flip the status. I'd err on the side of caution because his defensiveness and belligerence. Unless he's a political freak (for privacy issues) or some other stance, this shouldn't be a big deal for him if it means a lot to you.
              However, the op is equally as inconsistent.
              Why should he change his status to in a relationship when a few days later she is likely to blow up over her own mistrust issues?
              In a relationship one day, single the next .... I'd say he is embarrassed to air his dirty laundry on fb.

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              • #8
                I'm voting troll
                The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post

                  However, the op is equally as inconsistent.
                  Why should he change his status to in a relationship when a few days later she is likely to blow up over her own mistrust issues?
                  In a relationship one day, single the next .... I'd say he is embarrassed to air his dirty laundry on fb.
                  That may be true. But really, how insecure can he be. Worried about what his online friends think about him? If he was so worried about his image he wouldn't be on social media at all or dating potentially nonsense women.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Rose Mosse View Post

                    That may be true. But really, how insecure can he be. Worried about what his online friends think about him? If he was so worried about his image he wouldn't be on social media at all or dating potentially nonsense women.
                    I don't believe he is insecure at all.
                    Its the OP that worries about what his only be friends think. She is the one that's worried about her image.

                    And maybe he doesn't have "online" friends. Maybe like myself, all his fb friends are true friends, workmates, family.
                    Its not just about those people finding out whether you are in a relationship or not, whether it's on again or off again.

                    When a relationship ends, people select a few close friends or family members to discuss such a private matter with. Regardless of whether they are on social media or not. They don't call 150 people to discuss. It's about privacy , not insecurity .

                    Given how volatile this relationship is , I think he should keep his relationship status off fb.

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