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  • Complicated situation

    Hello everyone,
    So at the end of March i got really close with one girl from my student group(I'm student first year). I started to communicate with that girl more at the end of November if I'm not mistaken. So there's the story. Let's give the girl a name for example Emma. Emma had problems with her 2-3 years relationship(long-distance relationship). Her boyfriend didn't listen her, she wasn't happy, and there came I to help her feel better and listen her when she was sad. We talked a lot, for like 2 weeks i was always by her side. Then she went at her hometown for like a week, there he met her boyfriend but she wasn't happy, we chatted all the time. After she came to the town we study in, we talked a lot about her problem, were together every day almost, we've spent a lot time together. At the beginning of April i got these feelings for her, but i was afraid of how she might react and how this could affect her ending relationship. She talked with her closest friend about that. She broke up with her boyfriend. One night she was at my room and we were laying in my bed. From word to word we both said the we have feelings for each other and in the next two days we decided to get in a relationship so to say. It was amazing, i thought she will forget about her old relationship and she was alright. But at the beginning of the 4th week of our relationship she told me that it's very hard for her, her boyfriend types to her and I think they text every day almost, but she said that there won't happen anything between them. She told me she needs time of her own, that we should take things slow. At the moment I'm so confused, i don't know what to do, I mean i understand that she needs time alone, but I feel very bad about that situation. I want things between us to happen. I will take every advice.
    Last edited by random.one; May 20th, 2018, 09:40 AM.

  • #2
    Nothing can happen between you until she break up with her BF. She may say there are problems but she's not willing to dump him for you.

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    • #3
      I forgot to say, she broke up with her boyfriend. After that we were in a 3 week relationship and now she said she needs time alone.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by random.one View Post
        I forgot to say, she broke up with her boyfriend. After that we were in a 3 week relationship and now she said she needs time alone.
        You're first a friend and then a rebound, buddy. This isn't a healthy romantic relationship because she's using you like sponge in her dirty kitchen. You're just basically slopping up the grease that some other guy left behind. Yes, you love her but if you love yourself you'd have the respect and dignity to step back and let her deal with her issues. Stop being someone's dirty kitchen sponge.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Rose Mosse View Post

          You're first a friend and then a rebound, buddy. This isn't a healthy romantic relationship because she's using you like sponge in her dirty kitchen. You're just basically slopping up the grease that some other guy left behind. Yes, you love her but if you love yourself you'd have the respect and dignity to step back and let her deal with her issues. Stop being someone's dirty kitchen sponge.
          I'm stepping back, I mean i told her to take her time, I just want things to work out between us. What do you think after some time, when she get he issues fixed so to say, is there a chance for us to be together?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by random.one View Post

            I'm stepping back, I mean i told her to take her time, I just want things to work out between us. What do you think after some time, when she get he issues fixed so to say, is there a chance for us to be together?
            I wouldn't count on it. Life is very very short. You have your life to live. Never ever put it on hold for someone this early. I see this as a just a friendship gone awry. You both aren't married. There are no kids involved. Stop behaving as if you are chained to each other. She's not the last good woman on the earth and you're not the last good man standing. Give yourselves time to really breathe. Don't put your life on hold.

            If she REALLY wanted to be with you she wouldn't be such a ridiculous head case and she wouldn't use you the way she has. I personally wouldn't trust her. Don't be blind. She's stringing you along and her head is in the clouds. Even if someone was going through hell, someone who really cared for you wouldn't do this to you. Most people know that talking to an ex after a break up is unacceptable.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Rose Mosse View Post

              I wouldn't count on it. Life is very very short. You have your life to live. Never ever put it on hold for someone this early. I see this as a just a friendship gone awry. You both aren't married. There are no kids involved. Stop behaving as if you are chained to each other. She's not the last good woman on the earth and you're not the last good man standing. Give yourselves time to really breathe. Don't put your life on hold.

              If she REALLY wanted to be with you she wouldn't be such a ridiculous head case and she wouldn't use you the way she has. I personally wouldn't trust her. Don't be blind. She's stringing you along and her head is in the clouds. Even if someone was going through hell, someone who really cared for you wouldn't do this to you. Most people know that talking to an ex after a break up is unacceptable.
              I don't know man, I've experienced a lot of disappointments in my "love" life, I mean my longest relationship was like a week. Every time i think I've found the girl for me i get rejected. This time i felt different, like I found her. As far as I know this was her first serious relationship and 3 years isn't short amount of time, I get that. I just don't understand why she is texting with her ex(she showed me the chat only normal things), I mean there was a time 2 weeks ago, when he threatened her, he told her that, if there's someone else, he'll come and do some things... After that he changed to "I understand the situation", and she says, she's feeling bad, that she hurt him. I haven't asked her why is she texting him after the things he said to her, i don't know how she might react. I don't have any experience in relationships.. At the moment my head is a mess...

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              • #8
                It seems like she's just using you. hope I'm wrong though.

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