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how important is the lust/need to rip clothes off etc

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  • how important is the lust/need to rip clothes off etc

    Hi All,

    so i have been dating this girl for about a year now who i love to bits, she is 16 years younger than me 19/34 and we have had ups and downs but now i realise that i well and truly love her inside out because when i tried to leave her (i was concerned about the age gap/her independence/ relying on me too much), i was so cut up that i was in tears and couldnt understand why i was trying to leave her...it lasted 1 week and then i asked her to come back with me. we spend almost every evening together and weekends and we have a great time, ive never been with a girl that i have such a good time with , however.....

    i am a little concerned that i do not want to rip her clothes off , so to speak, the sex is good but it i dont really ever instigate it as soon as we get in the door and it is generally only when we go to bed, i also never feel like going down on her (something that i have always enjoyed).......how important do you think these things are when you have everything else as we do?
    ...i am very aware that she doesnt satisfy my sexual needs like other girls have done. what should i do?


  • #2
    The only question that matters is how important do you think these things are to YOU?

    Is loving her to bits and having a great time together a good enough trade-off for your less-than-stellar sex life?
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      I agree with Sarah.
      Only you can decide how important the sex is to you and will be down the line.
      You know that every relationship has challenges. You'll never find anyone who checks every little box (unless your name is Snow White).
      We can all compromise on little things, but how (in)significant is sex to you? There's no shame in admitting that sex matters to you. It's better to be honest about it now that to drag this out and pretend all is well, and end up leaving her or cheating on her years down the line.
      You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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      • #4
        im really not sure, i miss the good sex and that lust. But i have been also been looking for this companionship for all my life too....i think the latter is more important, but you know what us guys are like...we do often think with the other brain dont we.

        i think unfortunately it is the high libido that makes me feel this way. this will hopefully leave me at some point.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Joeydelucchi View Post
          im really not sure, i miss the good sex and that lust. But i have been also been looking for this companionship for all my life too....i think the latter is more important, but you know what us guys are like...we do often think with the other brain dont we.

          i think unfortunately it is the high libido that makes me feel this way. this will hopefully leave me at some point.
          Move on. If you're not getting what you want out of the relationship, you're just dragging it out. Be sure what you want and what you need in a relationship and don't settle. She's also young and has issues with independence (naturally at her age). Why on earth are you attracted to someone who's just a teenager?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Joeydelucchi View Post
            im really not sure, i miss the good sex and that lust. But i have been also been looking for this companionship for all my life too....i think the latter is more important, but you know what us guys are like...we do often think with the other brain dont we.

            i think unfortunately it is the high libido that makes me feel this way. this will hopefully leave me at some point.
            She's 19 for goodness sakes and you're well old enough to train her to be the minx in bed you want her to be. Start showing her, communicating verbally and figuring out why YOU don't want to go down on HER if its something you've always enjoyed doing.
            "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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