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In love with my best friend....whose taken!

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  • In love with my best friend....whose taken!

    So i dont even know where to start. There is a girl whom ive known for 25 years (im 31) so weve been friends almost our whole lives. When we were roughly 19/20 we dated briefly and it was great but inevitably we broke up. We each became in serious relationships both had kids and didnt speak much except certain functions for a few years. I recently became single and started talking to her again. She had recently been through a divorce but was dating someone new. We would talk and flirt and hang out for a while until about a few months ago she started to express displeasure in her current relationship although she just got a house with this guy about a year ago.
    finally after talking and growing even closer still over the past couple months i finally, about a month ago, kissed her. She returned the kiss and it was an amazing night. Since then we have talked everu day we are both busy but we see each other as we can and each time theres kissing and other expressed emotions . She has expressed that i make her happy that she loves me amongst other things it is an incredibly close bond between us and i have fallen hard. Way harder than i expected or planned but she is still with this other guy whom ahe lives with but is unhappy. We have talked about plenty but i cant bring myself or wont give her an ultimatum im happy with certain things but every time she leaves to go home it kills me inside. Basically im stuck. I dont know what to do

  • #2
    Well, it wasn't your best move to continue on with her to the point you're now having an affair with her. If not a physical one (past kissing) then certainly an emotional one.

    You don't know what to do? Well, what you do is you tell her that its not right or fair on either of you to be doing what you're doing and so you're going to cut all contact with her. If she ever finds herself single then to please contact you and if you're still single, then lets pursue this attraction we have for one another. Then you go zero contact and you don't respond to any of her crumbs.

    Anything less then "I'm single can we meet?" should be ignored.

    Don't hold your breath waiting for her. If she was going to leave him, she would have by now.

    I hope you've learned to Stop getting yourself so embroiled with women who are taken.

    Did she help buy this house she is living in with her boyfriend?
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Stuck86 View Post
      So i dont even know where to start. There is a girl whom ive known for 25 years (im 31) so weve been friends almost our whole lives. When we were roughly 19/20 we dated briefly and it was great but inevitably we broke up. We each became in serious relationships both had kids and didnt speak much except certain functions for a few years. I recently became single and started talking to her again. She had recently been through a divorce but was dating someone new. We would talk and flirt and hang out for a while until about a few months ago she started to express displeasure in her current relationship although she just got a house with this guy about a year ago.
      finally after talking and growing even closer still over the past couple months i finally, about a month ago, kissed her. She returned the kiss and it was an amazing night. Since then we have talked everu day we are both busy but we see each other as we can and each time theres kissing and other expressed emotions . She has expressed that i make her happy that she loves me amongst other things it is an incredibly close bond between us and i have fallen hard. Way harder than i expected or planned but she is still with this other guy whom ahe lives with but is unhappy. We have talked about plenty but i cant bring myself or wont give her an ultimatum im happy with certain things but every time she leaves to go home it kills me inside. Basically im stuck. I dont know what to do
      Keep in the back of your mind that she's cheating on her live-in boyfriend and you will be next. Never trust a deceitful person. I've since learned this harsh lesson the hard way.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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      • #4
        First of all, she is NOT your best friend. She is a love interest. And she IS cheating on her boyfriend with whom she has made a commitment.

        Do the right thing and leave her to her boyfriend. She can't have it both ways.
        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Stuck86 View Post
          So i dont even know where to start. There is a girl whom ive known for 25 years (im 31) so weve been friends almost our whole lives. When we were roughly 19/20 we dated briefly and it was great but inevitably we broke up. We each became in serious relationships both had kids and didnt speak much except certain functions for a few years. I recently became single and started talking to her again. She had recently been through a divorce but was dating someone new. We would talk and flirt and hang out for a while until about a few months ago she started to express displeasure in her current relationship although she just got a house with this guy about a year ago.
          finally after talking and growing even closer still over the past couple months i finally, about a month ago, kissed her. She returned the kiss and it was an amazing night. Since then we have talked everu day we are both busy but we see each other as we can and each time theres kissing and other expressed emotions . She has expressed that i make her happy that she loves me amongst other things it is an incredibly close bond between us and i have fallen hard. Way harder than i expected or planned but she is still with this other guy whom ahe lives with but is unhappy. We have talked about plenty but i cant bring myself or wont give her an ultimatum im happy with certain things but every time she leaves to go home it kills me inside. Basically im stuck. I dont know what to do
          Good. Stay stuck for awhile and squirmy. It will give you a good reference point of what not to do next time you encounter such a precarious situation. You already know it is a ridiculous situation so there's no need to tell you what you are or what kind of person you are or what she is. I'd just suggest that you take some time off and figure out what's important to you. It sounds like you're living day to day and have no scope or any idea of the future or where you see yourself next year, let alone next week. Stop living day to day and start thinking a little more deeply about what you want your life to be about.

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