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  • What to do?

    Hi all,
    Im posting to get some advice about mine and my bfs relationship. We have been together for a year and a half. It has always been long distace. We only see each other on weekends. We have plans to move in next summer and were both ok with it. I have lots of time off in my career so i can take long weekend, breaks, and summer with him. However in the last 4 months I feel like the relationships changed. The amount of sex we have has drastically dropped. We only see each other on weekends so when Friday rolls around I wanna jump his bones. But he always says hes tired, whether he made the drive or me. Then saturday rolls around and we spend time together and then the evening hes tired, or full from dinner or he has a headache. We have sex maybe once a month. Ive tried to initiate it, whether it be by being flirty or touchy during the day or wearing something sexy to bed. He used to not be able to keep his hands off me now i feel like I annoy him when Im affectionate. Heíll still kiss me and cuddle me if I ask, but he never really liked cuddling. Ive talked to him about it and he always blames it on something long term. Like when he moved or started a new job. But theres just no physicality anymore.
    When we do have sex I try and spice it up. But he cant climax from having sex with me. Ive tried more foreplay, taking dirty, oral sex. Usually he will have sex with me for maybe 3-5 minutes of penetration then hell say we should play with ourselves. He usually finishes that way and then cleans up. Last weekend he suggested we watch porn together Im willing to try anything. He chooses a girl on top POV and finishes almost instantly. I didnt tell him how upset I was because I couldnt explain it at that point.
    But I am genuinely lost with what to do. I would appreciate any feedback.
    For a side note I am over weight. But i have lost 50 lbs since we started dating and he has gaines about 30 lbs. He tells me hes still attracted to me but I dont feel it.

  • #2
    Diet plays a big role. Cut out the majority of carbs and get your sugar to less than 10 g/day and you'll find a very marked difference in your sexual performance and libido (and general wellbeing). Does he eat carb-laden foods?

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    • #3
      Yes! Iíve been working out and I eating better. I see him on weekends and usually he eats moderately healthy because I do now. But Iím not sure his diet during the week when I donít see him.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Sciencegirl16 View Post
        Yes! Iíve been working out and I eating better. I see him on weekends and usually he eats moderately healthy because I do now. But Iím not sure his diet during the week when I donít see him.
        That is a major red flag. He owes it to himself and his own quality of life. If you both have different lifestyles, so be it but at least be respectful enough of each other to let go of each other so that you both can find your own happiness. My partner and I have experienced fluctuations in our sex life that are heavily related to diet and exercise. We learned from it and from then on we have not wavered from our commitment to the diet and lifestyle that we have chosen. Please don't sell yourself short if this man is not for you. Give yourself the option of starting over and being in healthy relationships that support your goals.

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