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I don't know what to do......

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  • I don't know what to do......

    I'm currently in a very crappy situation. Me and girlfriend have agreed to break up in order for her to move on from her ex that she misses. But the thing is she still cares about me and like me and I still care about her a lot and love her. So we decided to just stay in a relationship that has no labels on it, not friends and not lovers. I'm worry that with me in the picture she might not be able to get over her ex, but at the same time I just can't bear losing contact with her. I know I have to suck it up. Her ex and her were in a long distance relationship so meeting him would be hard so I'm not that worried of them going back together, but I'm worried that I might cause the moving on process longer if I stay with her. The fact that I'm here physically for her instead of a long way from her is already a big advantage for me. Now I'm just not sure how to use that advantage, If I decided to lose contact on the phone and physically, I'm basically losing that advantage of being near her. If I do stay in contact with her, I have no idea when she gonna go back to me and move on, and or even still love me at the end. Should I risk contacting her and wait until she is ready for me or even make her fall in love with me even more? or Should I cut contact with her until she is ready? or Should I just keep in contact to a minimum, so this would make her miss me a bit and maybe make her stop thinking about her ex and move on?

    I know that all the advice in the Internet will tell me that keeping in contact with her is just the stupidest Idea but the thing is, that our relationship only lasted like 3 weeks and I think if I ended things and stay as just two person that has an interest with one another, then maybe I would not rush into dating her but focus on more making her happy and kind to her. Do all the things that her ex are unable to do for her because of their long distance relationship for 2.5 years. Maybe I'm just delusional to think that things can go back to the way they were, but honestly contacting her feels normal and she says its normal too and that is what we want. Maybe its not what she needs but if we want this for each other, will it work out...?

    Let me know any advice for this situation.

  • #2
    Here's what I think. Don't let her use you as a plan B. Either she wants to be with you or she doesn't. A relationship with no labels is nonsense. Tell her that you're going to stop all contact with her to allow her to get over whatever heartache she has. Tell her that when she's totally over him to give you a call, and if you're not otherwise engaged with someone else, you can re-evaluate a connection with her.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      You may have to learn it the hard way. You're in a situation where you should have the sense to stay away but the timing is off because you're in that shiny, crispy new state (3 weeks only!) where the other person is just gleaming like a diamond. Do whatever feels natural to you. I think people telling you to do otherwise is going to fall on deaf ears. I'll only say that she sounds confused and dating a confused person brings unnecessary hardship.


      • #4
        Think about this rationally and logically.
        She was with him for 912 days.
        You were with her for 21. only.

        How many days or hours have you actually spent with her?
        She was never your gf. You know that right??

        Im guessing you knew her while she was with him and therefore feel like it's been longer???

        Either way she is on the rebound.
        Its your choice to be the rebound guy or not.


        • #5
          How do you 'care about her a lot and love her' after only 3 weeks ?
          The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.