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Would you allow your spouse to get plastic surgery?

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  • Would you allow your spouse to get plastic surgery?

    I am concerned and I’d like feedback. I am not doing well financially at all. I have lived with my partner for 3 years now. When we met she was very into beauty. She would get botox every three months and was very up to date.

    Since my finances have fallen off…she has stoped getting those types of things. But she rubs it into me often. I once controlled all of our money but we stopped that because she couldn’t handle it.

    She now handles all of her own money and bills but she says she still pays so much toward our lifestyle that every penny goes toward that. Interesting, since I still can barely make my car payment.

    Anyway, she has a new client who has offered to trade for plastic surgery. She wants to get a facelift from him. She says that it’s purely trade work.

    I absolutely don’t agree with it and I’ve told her that if she has any ‘trade work’ to do she should do it for paying clients. I don’t think she should be getting plastic surgery. She wants to get an eye lift

    Again. I. do not agree. She says she needs it because she doesn’t get botox anymore and a good deal of her work is on camera. She is very negative about her current appearance. She is often reluctant to even take pictures with me. I think she has a problem.
    She seems down and depressed — quite quiet. She says she is fine. But I don’t know what is wrong with her.

    I told her that I feel she doesn’t think or act normal. And if she wants me to continue with her, she needs to change her ways….but this is due to a number of other things.


    Would men normally support their signicatn other to get plastic surgery even when it’s free?

  • #2
    You refer to her as a spouse and a partner. Are you married?

    which is your main concern, surgery, trade, the client, or her obsession with her looks?

    You can’t control what she does, but you can determine whether she is the right person for you. From the sounds of it, it seems you don’t share the same values. So why are you with her?

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    • #3
      I think she ought to get all the plastic surgery that she wants if she's paying for it or not paying for it or trading. If you can't handle it, you need to leave the relationship.
      "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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      • #4
        Suggest she use any extra money for therapy. She's got issues if she's that obsessed with her looks (IMO)

        How old is she?
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

        Comment


        • #5
          I just see different priorities. You need to judge whether you're ok being with someone who's got different priorities compared to you. If the gap is that wide, no plastic surgery will bring you both back together.

          If you want to both start nurturing a healthy relationship start working on your priorities together. You both should have common goals.

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          • #6
            This is the second thread you've started in one day about you trying to control/dictate your SO's finances and the way she spends her money.
            (https://www.relationship-forums.com/...-with-the-debt )

            Maybe you don't see the pattern, but we do.

            Stop meddling in her business so much. This woman is having to fight for the freedom to make her own decisions. You're acting like her father instead of her partner.
            You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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            • #7
              Your gf can do what she wants with her own money.
              One does not make a gf a spouse ie marry if there is a significant disagreement on finances.

              You were attracted to her Botox face. You hardly thought it was natural and that it didn't come with a price. ???

              Love her or leave her.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by phasesofthemoon View Post
                Suggest she use any extra money for therapy. She's got issues if she's that obsessed with her looks (IMO)

                How old is she?
                Phases honey, you do realize that this is the same guy that had the financial control taken away from him by his girlfriend in his OTHER post ("I financed a car for her and now she wants to buy her own & leave me with the debt")

                This post is no different.....It's all about control
                The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

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                • #9
                  I wonder what she's 'trading' for the eye lift.
                  "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by pistol View Post

                    Phases honey, you do realize that this is the same guy that had the financial control taken away from him by his girlfriend in his OTHER post ("I financed a car for her and now she wants to buy her own & leave me with the debt")

                    This post is no different.....It's all about control
                    I realize that it's him. But I'm going by the opening post and its content. If she's as hell bent on having plastic surgery as he says she is then she's got some body and self-esteem issues that she'd do well to delve into.

                    If he's real then they make a good dysfunctional and codependent couple who fight over control. Right now it seems she's winning since she's left him, in his stupidity with a shit load of debt and she's using all of her own money to fk with her face.

                    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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