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Girlfriend does not allow me to talk to girls/befriend girls

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  • Girlfriend does not allow me to talk to girls/befriend girls

    Greetings from Singapore, I'm 16 and I'm quite an introverted and shy guy and have literally no female friends.
    I talked to my girlfriend about me trying to step out of my comfort zone to try to talk to girls and to widen my social circle, but....
    My girlfriend thinks that if i talk to girls, I will get closer to them and end up liking them.
    She thinks that our conversations can only be of work-related and nothing more(not even talking about food).
    She also feels that when in a relationship, it is wrong to talk to people of opposite genders(other than work related) and making friends with them.

    What are ur views!!??

  • #2
    Why do you feel the need to have female friends?

    I think it's a good idea not to put yourself into temptation by starting friendships with females if you're in a relationship. At 16 it might be a better idea to be single so that you can have more of a social life, but I understand that young kids want to have girlfriends/boyfriends. Enjoy this relationship for as long as it lasts and then think about being single for a while so that you can develop all kinds of friendships.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      When you're young you should be filling your memory bank with plenty of memories that are varied, eye-opening and you should be absorbing the world like a sponge and experiencing new things, making decisions of your own and coming to conclusions from your own lived experience.

      If you ask me your relationship is based on incompatibilities which means you're not going to grow well together because of your different expectations and levels of insecurity in a relationship.

      When you're older you'll be able to draw your own conclusions about what's right and wrong and you'll have banked plenty of experiences. I don't think your girlfriend is wrong and I don't think you are wrong. I think you both need to come together and come to a compromise if you believe your relationship is a priority.

      If growing and experiencing new things is of higher importance, relationships like this will limit you considerably.

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      • #4
        The thing here is that you don't have to have friends with females. Why not widen your male friend pool and forget about tempting your ability to stay neutral while engaging in said "friendship?"

        You have to have the same romantic relationship boundaries as your partner and if you don't then you better figure out a compromise that keeps you both calm and agreeable to or the relationship won't last.

        Can I ask how you would feel if she was making new male friends and engaging with them when you're not with her? Would you be secure and trusting and not worried that she may end up liking them more then she should?

        Many, many affairs start out being opposite sex friends who cross platonic relationship boundaries.
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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        • #5
          If you want to have girls who are friends, then don't have a girlfriend. Your girlfriend should be enough girl time for you. I'm married. I don't have male friends nor does my husband meet female friends for lunch. No way. It's the way it is in a committed relationship. A man and a woman have each other and no one else. If you want freedom, then don't be involved in a committed relationship because you should be loyal only to your girlfriend and no one else.
          "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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          • #6
            be honest and tell her you want an open relationship. you are both too young to only socialize with one person. you need to taste many to make best life choices in the future on desired qualities

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            • #7
              Originally posted by ShortAsianMofo View Post
              Greetings from Singapore, I'm 16 and I'm quite an introverted and shy guy and have literally no female friends.
              I talked to my girlfriend about me trying to step out of my comfort zone to try to talk to girls and to widen my social circle, but....
              My girlfriend thinks that if i talk to girls, I will get closer to them and end up liking them.
              She thinks that our conversations can only be of work-related and nothing more(not even talking about food).
              She also feels that when in a relationship, it is wrong to talk to people of opposite genders(other than work related) and making friends with them.

              What are ur views!!??
              Why can't you talk to boys to widen your social circle?

              I agree with your gf , she is definitely more mature than you.

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