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  • #16
    I took this picture a few years ago in Central Park in New York. Lots of people who work have dogs. This particular walker had a bunch of dogs who were happy to get outside.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #17
      That's awesome! ... The dogs are looking posh cool.

      Down with (who are more then happy to spend 20 hours a day alone and basking in their its-all-about-me. lol
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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      • #18
        I appreciate the suggestions. But we live in an area where dog walking isn’t a common or feasible thing. We live on a high traffic volume road, mostly used by well trucks, so walking in our immediate area isn’t safe at all. Our dog takes up most of the backseat of a vehicle, so having someone come get her who already has other dogs doesn’t work either. And again, cost is an issue for us. Paying someone everyday is just too much for us at the moment. The only reasonably priced person we found in our area was a high school student. But she would be willing to come by when my boyfriend was already home, so it defeats the purpose. I feel like we’ve thought of almost everything we could do. I even thought if asking our neighbors, but they’re both well into their eighties and I just wouldn’t feel right asking them to care for our high energy dog. That would just open up another can of worms.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Lily10 View Post
          I appreciate the suggestions. But we live in an area where dog walking isn’t a common or feasible thing. We live on a high traffic volume road, mostly used by well trucks, so walking in our immediate area isn’t safe at all. Our dog takes up most of the backseat of a vehicle, so having someone come get her who already has other dogs doesn’t work either. And again, cost is an issue for us. Paying someone everyday is just too much for us at the moment. The only reasonably priced person we found in our area was a high school student. But she would be willing to come by when my boyfriend was already home, so it defeats the purpose. I feel like we’ve thought of almost everything we could do. I even thought if asking our neighbors, but they’re both well into their eighties and I just wouldn’t feel right asking them to care for our high energy dog. That would just open up another can of worms.
          All I'm hearing are poor excuses to justify the fact that your dog is being seriously neglected and abused here.
          As long as you ignore that and try to justify what you're doing to the dog, you're not going to get any real help here.
          Start listening to what people here are actually saying. And instead of saying 'but we do this...' and 'but it's not possible that ...' actually hear what's being said.

          You have a miserable dog with a life barely worth having. Imagine if i put you in a crate 20 hours a day and then pretended you were happy, how would you feel?

          My boyfriend and I both work full time. That's no excuse. We chose to take on the responsability for a dog, so we do what we have to. They go to daycare or get walked during the day. And they spend at least 8 hours with us after work. They aren't crated (because they were trained properly and don't destroy things), but they have their own room with toys and treats and little games they can play to earn more food.

          If you can't offer that, DON'T HAVE A FREAKING DOG. Stop making excuses.
          You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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          • #20
            As a proud dog lover and owner of man's best friend, my Golden Retriever, I fully support your concerns. A dog in a crate for the better part of the day is pure abuse and horrible neglect. Try to persuade your boyfriend to do something to socialize the dog and allow it to get plenty of fresh air and daily exercise. Try to find an alternative to doggie daycare since you say you cannot afford it. Your dog's aggressive behavior with biting and barking are signals that she's gone stark raving mad from loneliness and banished to the crate going bat crazy all the while. Try doing that to a human and you'd become a mental basket case, too. You, too would go ____ _____ crazy!!! And, if you're the dog's #2, there's a problem. Keep in mind whether dog or human, they will become aggressive due to depression, loneliness and being anti-social. It's mentally unhealthy and physically unhealthy. If your boyfriend has no qualms treating this dog which he purportedly "loves so much,' think about your future because this problem will never go away. If he treats his dog this way, he'll have no problem putting you in the doghouse someday, too. Think about this.
            "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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            • #21
              Thank you Chanelle. And I do want to add that I am not trying to make excuses for keeping a dog this way. I know that she needs to find a better home. I'm simply trying to explain that I've gone through other options before I came to this conclusion. But as many of you have already said, she isn't technically my dog so my hands are tied at this point. So I'm trying to find a way to make my boyfriend see the problem so that we can find her a better home with a better family. I do not want to see her end up in a pound somewhere.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Lily10 View Post
                Thank you Chanelle. And I do want to add that I am not trying to make excuses for keeping a dog this way. I know that she needs to find a better home. I'm simply trying to explain that I've gone through other options before I came to this conclusion. But as many of you have already said, she isn't technically my dog so my hands are tied at this point. So I'm trying to find a way to make my boyfriend see the problem so that we can find her a better home with a better family. I do not want to see her end up in a pound somewhere.
                Tell your boyfriend that he needs to spend 20 hours in a crate on his next day off.
                If he enjoyed his time there and would do it again the next day, he can keep the dog.
                If he went banana's, he needs to find her a better home.
                You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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                • #23
                  Lily, without sounding like we're doggy piling you, finding yourself in association with a man like this means you're supporting his actions. You're troubled enough to consult with strangers on a forum regarding your boyfriend's behaviour. I personally would make my opinions more clearly known and may even sever relations with someone like your boyfriend. Your passivity and continued relationship with someone who perpetuates animal abuse is no help to the animal/s in question or the abuse that's clearly ongoing.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Lily10 View Post
                    I appreciate the suggestions. But we live in an area where dog walking isn’t a common or feasible thing. We live on a high traffic volume road, mostly used by well trucks, so walking in our immediate area isn’t safe at all. Our dog takes up most of the backseat of a vehicle, so having someone come get her who already has other dogs doesn’t work either. And again, cost is an issue for us. Paying someone everyday is just too much for us at the moment. The only reasonably priced person we found in our area was a high school student. But she would be willing to come by when my boyfriend was already home, so it defeats the purpose. I feel like we’ve thought of almost everything we could do. I even thought if asking our neighbors, but they’re both well into their eighties and I just wouldn’t feel right asking them to care for our high energy dog. That would just open up another can of worms.
                    Well, give me your address then and I'll report the abuse to your local SPCA.
                    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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                    • #25
                      Thank you for your reply, Lily10. An alternative to the pound are dog rescues. Volunteers temporarily foster the dog, nurture, care for it, determine its personality and try to find a good fit for its next home. Tell your boyfriend if he wants to see a caged animal, he needs to visit a zoo. Something else to think about is, the more the dog is crated for unreasonable amounts of time, the more aggressive she will become which endangers everyone in the household. Depressed, angry dogs or humans (visit any prison), will turn on you out of the blue, become outraged and violent. Remind your boyfriend that ultimately your and his safety is at risk.
                      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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                      • #26
                        Thank you all for your replies. I have a lot to think about.

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                        • #27
                          I figured I'd post an update on my situation. After many late night conversations with my boyfriend, last night really shook me. To sum it up, my boyfriend says his dog is his kid, and kid trumps girlfriend. So, he is basically holding his relationship with an animal higher than his relationship with a person.

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                          • #28
                            Thanks for the update. At least you know where you stand.

                            How long do you plan on letting him be your boyfriend?
                            "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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                            • #29
                              I think this may be it. He said he would still like to try, for me to move back in (I have since been staying elsewhere). But if I'm always going to be taking a backseat to his dog, then I don't think its fair. He will be getting everything he wants out of this relationship, and I won't. I don't think it's an equal partnership anymore, and maybe it hasn't been this entire time.

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                              • #30
                                The fact that you're even considering moving back in is quite disturbing to me. Don't be a doormat.
                                "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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