Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

advice pleaae

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • advice pleaae

    Hi
    Me and my partner have been together over a year now. He is very controling and jealous. He constantly brings up my past relationships, ex partners and calls me names to the point i will end up crying and saying its over. I will lock him out so he cant gt back into the flat when he goes out somewhere later that day as he wont leave. He always comes back saying sorry he wont do it again. There is an age difference bewteen us he is 19 and i am 27. I also have a child who doesnt see her dad as he doesnt want to know her so my daughter looks up to my partner as a father figure. He hasnt ever had a serious relationship before and had never slept woth anyone. I dont understnd why he is so jealous and brings up my exes and my past relationships. I am loyal, i dont really have much of a social life i only see my family and sometimes i will go round to my close friends houses but he will be with me. I spend my time with my daughter, i feel like im having to tred on egg shells. We have had so many talks about why he does this and acts the way he does starting arguements over my past relationships and he promises he will change. He knows im close to endin it for good. Hes really clingy with me so he says he shows me loads of love as i aint as clingy with him but to be honest i feel pushed away and i dont have to keep hugging and kissing him to show i love him. I show him love by being nice ect. If i dont sleep with him he will bring up an ex. But why should i sleep with him if hes treated me like crap all day and put me down calling me names bringing up my past. I dont know what to do anymore, one min hes nice, the next hes being horrible. Should i kick him out for good or will h change over time. Also before we got together we was friends so he knew alot about me. And why should i feel bad for having past relationships?

  • #2
    It's not likely that he will change. So you have to ask yourself how much of your happiness is being eroded by having a relationship with this man. It's unacceptable for him to call you names and constantly be accusing you of things you're not doing. You've allowed him to do it so far, but that needs to stop. When you say you lock him out of your flat, does he live with you or is it your flat?

    Don't stay with someone who makes you unhappy simply because he is a 'father figure' to your child. He's not much of a role model. Your judgment in men hasn't been great, and I recommend that you spend some time on your own and figure out what you are about before you agree to get into a serious relationship. His jealousy is simply a desire to control you, body and soul. You need to break free from this prison that you've put yourself and your child in.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

    Comment


    • #3
      Yes it is my flat and he ives here. He wont ever give me my other key back when i tell him to leave. I wait for him to go out and chain the door up so he cant get back in with the key he has..apart from the issue he has we get along so well and have a good relationship. We would be perfect if he wasnt so jealous

      Comment


      • #4
        Honey, that's like saying, 'Besides him trying to choke me every few days, we're great."

        If it gets so bad that you feel compelled to lock him out of your place, it's more than just jealousy issues.

        Have you ever heard of locksmiths? They can come over and change the locks out, and then he won't be able to get back in. Are these scenes really what you want your child to witness? Stop being foolish.
        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

        Comment


        • #5
          No not really, cos every relationship has its down falls and he isnt physicsaly abusing me. My child isnt around any of this and as never seen this.. I dont need my locks changing i lock him out and tell him to go so he can calm down and realise what he is doing. I just want him to stop being so jealous and dragging up my past. Everyone argues and no1 is perfect. All im asking for is advice to how i should deal with this to better my relationship i dont want to give up on us i love him and i want to be postive.

          Comment


          • #6
            Then there have to be consequences when he does this. Locking him out of the house apparently isn't working.

            Tell him that from now on, when he exhibits jealous behavior, you will not be engaging with him until the next day. No talking to him or doing things for him. Treat him like he's invisible. The next day, start all over. Eventually he'll get tired of being ignored.
            "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

            Comment


            • #7
              Thank you for the advice i will try this and see if it helps x

              Comment

              Working...
              X