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What do I do wrong?

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  • What do I do wrong?

    Hi,
    So, I wanna start by saying that I'm getting more and more frustrated and unhappy about my relationship with my girlfriend. We have already been together for half a year now, what im feeling bad about is the lack of sex. In fact, not having sex at all, I might seem like a douchebag thinking about sex only, but im not. So our relationship was going all good, but niw im feeling like its falling apart, since my girlfriend acts like such a tease. We text everyday and sometimes we get dirty chatting all day, but not really talkijg about sex straightsforwardf its more like a hint game, but we both know what we are talking about and she said that she wants to do it with me, she read all the arrticles about having safe sex, told me to buy lube and be prapared, but I have tried now for the third time, but she stopped me and its driving me mad on her. Each time i try, i get more progress towards it, you know, kissing, then touching, undressing, she seems like shes okay until this time I got to her panties. She was laying with me in bed with only her panties, we were kissing, I was touching her body, her crotch through panties and when I tried to get my hand under, to rub her she stopped me, she held my hand and without saying anything, just held my hand and didnt let me reach lower. I asked her whats wrong, she smiled and said 'nothing' i thought to myself, ok then, ill rest a bit and try again, but this time tried to take her panties off, i pulled them pretty low, her butt was already naked but she was holding her panties over her crotch restricting me to do anything else, i asked her again whats wrong she was just laying on her side laughing and saying nothing i asked her maybe i shouldnt take her panties off and she was just laying there fucking laughing and not saying anything, so I pulled panties back and just layed besides her all frustrated and just tried to sleep, i fking gave up, because thats like third time trying and not getting anywhere with it. After sometime laying, she started dressing up, I dressed up too and we finished watching the movie. She seemed like she lost her mood when watching the movie, got grumpy and didnt talk as much. Made me feel like I did something bad when the real problem was her! After such things we get colder for each other because im always frustrated about it and she doesnt seem to catch that.. By the way, when i mention sex she laughs and teases me a bit, giving hints that she would like to play... But it never happens, and she acts and talks differently in per person than through messages.. I still dont quite understand if shes just a teaser or shy.. P. S. We are both virgins

  • #2
    She's not ready for sex.
    She's giving you a clear boundary and you try to cross her boundaries over and over, repeatedly.
    It doesn't matter that she's teasing and being flirty. That doesn't oblige her to have sex with you.

    You need to stop being so pushy about sex and stop trying to cross the boundaries she's not comfortable with yet. Let her decide when it's time for that. Stop trying to pressure her.
    If the teasin is getting you frustrated, there are plenty of ways to relieve your own urges before and after you spend time with her. Don't make that her responsability.
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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    • #3
      Well she may not be ready for sex but she sure acts like a harlot on laughing gas. What the hell is the matter with her. Don't play her game, play yours. If she tries to tease you go poker face and ask her to pass the potatoes. She'll straighten up real fast once she sees you're not playing her boring game. When she wants to talk or walk the walk, then you look at her.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Ayla View Post
        She's not ready for sex.
        She's giving you a clear boundary and you try to cross her boundaries over and over, repeatedly.
        It doesn't matter that she's teasing and being flirty. That doesn't oblige her to have sex with you.

        You need to stop being so pushy about sex and stop trying to cross the boundaries she's not comfortable with yet. Let her decide when it's time for that. Stop trying to pressure her.
        If the teasin is getting you frustrated, there are plenty of ways to relieve your own urges before and after you spend time with her. Don't make that her responsability.
        I think i am not being pushy for sex, she's giving me hints and im taking them as i understand, but it's just false expectations and just shitty reality. I dont try to do it everytime we meet, just when i think it is alright and when she seems like doing it. I totally understand that shes not obligued to have sex with me, but how am i supposed to feel when she drops such hints and then turns me down? Like, she let me undress her.. what was the point of it then? Just to make me feel like shit?
        Last edited by Kreekeriss; February 28th, 2018, 02:19 AM.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Kreekeriss View Post

          I think i am not being pushy for sex, she's giving me hints and im taking them as i understand, but it's just false expectations and just shitty reality. I dont try to do it everytime we meet, just when i think it is alright and when she seems like doing it. I totally understand that shes not obligued to have sex with me, but how am i supposed to feel when she drops such hints and then turns me down? Like, she let me undress her.. what was the point of it then? Just to make me feel like shit?
          She's taking her time to explore different things. She's trying to become comfortable with the first steps before she moves on to the next thing. You're trying to run before you learned how to walk.
          It's perfectly normal for her to want to take things one step at a time. And just because she told you she's considering having sex with you, it doesn't have to mean now.
          Do you know how big of a deal it can be for a girl to be naked with a new guy for the first time? And she did that with you, and you're being an ungrateful ass about it. She's allowing herself to be vulnerable with you, a little more each day. And all you care about is the end goal, so you're ignoring what's happening right in front of you.
          She feels comfortable doing certain things with you, but she's not ready to commit to sex. These 'hints' you think you get is just her having fun, getting comfortable with you and experimenting with different things. She's not telling you she wants to have sex right now.

          So what should you do?

          Just enjoy the things you do with her, even if they don't lead to sex. Enjoy being with her naked, touching her, being close to her, ... --> This is a great lesson by the way. You'll need to learn how to sexually please your gf eventually and foreplay is of vital importance. Most girls don't orgasm from penetration. Since you say you're a virgin, use this time 'before sex' to learn how to please her with your hands, tongue, ... If she sees you putting in an effort to make sure she's enjoying it, she might feel more confident about sex.

          Don't complain or act annoyed if you're being sexy, messing around and then she stops you from going any further. This will make her feel pressured and shut her down. Actually, I'd consider not even trying to go any further for a while. Just stick with the things you've been doing and experiment with those.

          Reassure her that you're willing to follow her pace when it comes to sex. Tell her that you'll wait for her to tell you she's ready (and then stick to your words. DON'T take it any further no matter how horny you get). Try to experiment with different things. Find out what the most sensitive places on her body are and how to touch/ carress/ lick those spots. Find out how to make her orgasm without penetration. Put her pleasure ahead of yours for a while.

          You're going to get horny from doing those things with her, but you know what? A guy who can delay hiw own pleasure to make sure his gf has a good time too, makes the best lover. If you can't handle that, maybe just rub one out before you see her to take the edge off.
          .
          You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Ayla View Post

            She's taking her time to explore different things. She's trying to become comfortable with the first steps before she moves on to the next thing. You're trying to run before you learned how to walk.
            It's perfectly normal for her to want to take things one step at a time. And just because she told you she's considering having sex with you, it doesn't have to mean now.
            Do you know how big of a deal it can be for a girl to be naked with a new guy for the first time? And she did that with you, and you're being an ungrateful ass about it. She's allowing herself to be vulnerable with you, a little more each day. And all you care about is the end goal, so you're ignoring what's happening right in front of you.
            She feels comfortable doing certain things with you, but she's not ready to commit to sex. These 'hints' you think you get is just her having fun, getting comfortable with you and experimenting with different things. She's not telling you she wants to have sex right now.

            So what should you do?

            Just enjoy the things you do with her, even if they don't lead to sex. Enjoy being with her naked, touching her, being close to her, ... --> This is a great lesson by the way. You'll need to learn how to sexually please your gf eventually and foreplay is of vital importance. Most girls don't orgasm from penetration. Since you say you're a virgin, use this time 'before sex' to learn how to please her with your hands, tongue, ... If she sees you putting in an effort to make sure she's enjoying it, she might feel more confident about sex.

            Don't complain or act annoyed if you're being sexy, messing around and then she stops you from going any further. This will make her feel pressured and shut her down. Actually, I'd consider not even trying to go any further for a while. Just stick with the things you've been doing and experiment with those.

            Reassure her that you're willing to follow her pace when it comes to sex. Tell her that you'll wait for her to tell you she's ready (and then stick to your words. DON'T take it any further no matter how horny you get). Try to experiment with different things. Find out what the most sensitive places on her body are and how to touch/ carress/ lick those spots. Find out how to make her orgasm without penetration. Put her pleasure ahead of yours for a while.

            You're going to get horny from doing those things with her, but you know what? A guy who can delay hiw own pleasure to make sure his gf has a good time too, makes the best lover. If you can't handle that, maybe just rub one out before you see her to take the edge off.
            .
            Damn, I feel like an asshole now, thanks for advices and good words, maybe it was my selfishness doing everything for me.. I always enjoy being with her and doing what we're doing. Probalby I didnt fully realise that maybe she's not ready yet, even though I had such thoughts.

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