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What do I do I'm lost

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  • What do I do I'm lost

    OK we have been together ten years now and the past two years have went down hill cause of things we started to do like d#$%s and went
    t to far with the d#$%s and before stopping before it got to bad we didn't but we have. Been off and on for the tens years sometimes it was and sometimes not so great but always ha e gotten back together we have two boys but they with the Granada her mom and we get the boy on weekends and the last 6-8 months the arguing starting getting worse and worse and here at the end about 2-3 weeks she would start things and just keep going tell I got to the point where I couldn't take it on fridays when we get the boys everyfriday then one didntbwant to come stay anymore cause of it and note she has everyone believed that its .e starting and doing this and inn the beginning it was just having fun and this and that and then we had our first son after a year and our second 14 months later so that kinda caused problems so close together o worked all the time with a lot of hrs so not much time for her to rest so there were pills involved she ended up going to rehab and there were arguments a d split us and cheating and leaving and it finally stops for awhile I stopped leaving after every argument I grew up and was all good the stuff came to play we were broke up and had tried and had been doing it and we got back together and I have done before when younger and k ew what it would and like a dummy did it anyway so we went for about a year and had a fight split ways for a few months and got back together and I had found out she was with someone else and so for the last seven moths everything started to get worse I was accusing her of being with him so she did it again and from then on she lied about talking to him and about him being there and every time I would walk in the room she would ways push the home button on her phone then go to the bathroom and stay fro long periods of time alto longer than before deleting everything from the day and whoever she was talking to and knick on the door and say just a sec then unlock it with towel barely hanging on like she was taking pics but could never catch her or see it on the phone but she knew that I knew she was doing something but could prove it and would get mad she. I asked questions about any of it and that's when everything started getting real bad and one night I guess the oldest called his grandma and nobody knew so she got to hear some o it and it got to were I packed my things and left so the kids wouldn't hear it anymore and while I was atbyhe store I seen the guys truck go by so I followed and yeap he pulls in and so did I said he pulled in cause a cop was following him but wasn't and said he didn't know about the fight and I was already pissed so was taking shit and then she let's him in and locks the door wrong idea and I didnt know my son was looking out hole and I ran kicked the door trying to get in and it didnt come open but it kinda him and she opens the door talking shit so that's makes worse and makes me fill like shit and me and him were aboutbto fight but he leaves cause he scared of the cops migh show up and made things for me and her cause that was bull shit on her part I told him he needed to leave but I left to and went to my moms and woke up and to fucking beg to come get my kids and take the to get breakfast and appaulagize for everything the night before and getbrite with the boys and went back and was going to do the same with her nope she started again and we started again so I left and went got cigs came back her mom was there and I pit the car in park and killed it she was opening my door trying to tear my car up and hitting and kicking me infront of the kids I didnt touch her but boy did I want to but I got in her face and stopped it got in my car and left went down the road and cried mybeyes out cause the boys seen it all but now I'm not allowed there from whatbshe says and when I try to message her throws a fit telling me to leave her lone and this and that and I'm pouring out my heart I'm sorry I love you I live the boys and she is like super pissed hasn't said she was sorry but said I got to stop son she can think and that she loves me but when I stop by and try to talk and see what's going on she opens the door and shuts it back and start acting s fool threatening me with the cops saying I'm going to jail wtf do I do

  • #2
    She's not happy with you. Don't delude yourself or think that she wants to be with you. One or both of you have serious issues. Do you have problems with alcohol? Also the pills she's taking - what's it for?

    When things get heated, as a couple, one person doesn't go calling a third party over and the other person doesn't start kicking doors down of a house. She locking you out of the house for a reason. Why?


    • #3
      No I dont drink and there are no pills it was drugs that lead to all of this and the accusing and everything but I think it has went to far even though I dont do the drugs and I dont think she is either I'm getting help my anger problems and had childhood problems and talking to someone about that to but she says I have to all these things if I want to be with her again and she has blamed on this on me maybe most of it but not all is my fault and have admitted and took responseabilty for what I have done wrong and taking part to fix what I need to fix for me to be a better person and a better father to her and the boys but I think its gone to far I've been trying to tell her thatbim doi all this for her and the boys and I've tried going over and talkig to her its just almost in real how she could really be this way I dont know what to do I dint want to throw away ten years like this but I really think she is dine for good and it breaks my heart that she won't admit to anything like she hasn't done anything wrong its like a bad dream and I can't wake up


      • #4
        She won't admit to anything probably because she's thinking of more than just herself. She's also thinking of her kids and how to get them out of this situation. How is the help with your anger going? Is it helping? do you feel like it's made an impact in the way you think or process information? You need to come to terms and make peace with the fact that while you're getting help, you and her need to understand each other and understand whether one of you isn't in the relationship anymore and wants to move on. She might have told you this clearly but you weren't listening and you're still not listening. If it's over and she wants to move on, you have to let her go. Your boys will always be your boys but you should respect the fact that she doesn't want to continue a romantic relationship with you.

        If it gets confusing and she comes on to you or flirts with you, back off and don't entertain that. Don't kiss her or sleep with her even if she seems like she wants to. Until you really get your life on track and understand where you stand, chasing after her is a lost cause and she'll never take you seriously if you don't take yourself seriously.