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  • Confusing

    We had many fights and breakups in an almost of 4 years relation. Everytime she brokeup with me when I am not able to marry her, after somedays she come again. she keep me pressing until I spoke "okay I will marry you".. but somehow inspite of pulling every troubles from our way we couldn't suceeded for 4-5 times.

    I used to work in a small company with low salary don't have a stable career right now and that too far away from my homeland about 2500 kms and she lives in my hometown.

    My family doesn't like the girl. Somehow after giving everybit of effort my family agreed. And everything is just got set from my family end as well, of course not very happily may be. Her family is not supporting her keeps asking her to work or to to leave the home as they can't provide her food for free. Now she is living in her sister's home ( her sister is married).

    Now I had check and seen her to flirt with many boys from the starting of the relationship. But couldnt leave her as I thought she is very pretty and i will never be able to get someone like her. Everytime she broke with me up and she chats with another boys. After somedays she came back and sometime I just can't maintain the no contact rule and everything starts again.

    This time I came home after many days may be 6-7 months. I told her that everything is set from my side and told to wait her just few days more and everything will be arranged by my family and we don't need to get married secretly. She got agreed for sometime but suddenly she told me that we should marry now , no need to tell anyone and later a party will be organised by my family. I was in very confusing moment but somehow I can't deny her and I got agreed.

    Even arranging a court marriage needs 2-3 working days , like speaking to a lawyer arranging documents etc. I had taken leave from my office for 10 days and the leave was getting over in that case I told her that I am going to tell lie in office that I met an accident and my return will be delayed by 3-4 days. She told that it was an excellent plan. Now by somehow may be one of friend/colleague told my boss that nothing has happened to me. And I am fine .. my boss got angry and kicked me out from my job.

    I told my gf about this. I thought she is going to leave me as well. But this time she shows an unexpected affectionate told me that not to worry and both of us will work to make our future better and to just get married. Yes sometimes she shows so much affection that I can't believe..feels like I am so lucky to get her. And I thought she got change and now she is very loyal to me.

    Everything was set for our secret court marriage. Today was the day.. the day before yesterday I just checked her that how much she had changed " will she talk to her past crush" her crush was a high profile man with a very good job and he is divorcee as well had a son of 14 years.

    I chat with her becoming that crush .... on WhatsApp with a new number and told her that I was missing her and want to get married to her.. will she?? I was stunned that she agreed. I didn't believed it.. previously she had proposed that man but that man refused her.

    I didn't told her that it was me. And keeps the conversation going for that day.

    Yesterday one of my family members called her as just to know how she was doing and to send me to find a job as soon as possible as it will be good for our future.

    I don't know what happen she calls me and told me that the relation is over and she is not going to marry me.. and to never call her again and blocked me in everywhere.

    And messaged to that crush that she is coming to meet her and told him that to wait in a park.

    I mean to say what should I do now? Lost job. Lost her. She is not loyal to me....

    should i start conversation and should I marry her?



  • #2
    No, buddy. You got played. She used you to manipulate her ex into wanting her. Aren't you more worried about your bills piling up and no job? Or do you have a rich family or a money tree in your backyard? (I wish I had one of those.)
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; February 2nd, 2018, 01:23 AM.


    • #3
      She's NOT marriage material. Get your life in order first, get a job, get back on your feet and you'll attract loyal types. Don't rush into marriage. Marriage is serious business and commitment. You're on shaky ground and you can do better. Best to let her go and have her find someone who is just like her which is NOT you. In the future, no more lying otherwise it will come back to haunt you.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


      • #4
        You need to find a job and then a new woman that isn't such a punta. Work on your career and forget about women for the time being. Do not contact that witch again.
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!