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Am I sending him mixed signals by not kissing him

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  • Am I sending him mixed signals by not kissing him

    To make a very long story short and to the point, I started going over his house a few months ago to help with his girls because their mother is now gone, and he has done a lot for my son. About a month ago he told me I tugged at his heart strings enough for him to ask himself what he was so afraid of, and he deserved being happy, and I've heard him mumble under his breathe a few times while playing with the girls "I don't care".

    It has been him wanting to be all cuddly, and constantly pulling me on him, tickling me, and in general always wanting to be physically close though I like to be. after I told him I wanted to kiss him and almost did, but also didn't want to frustrate him, he tried to kiss me and I put my head down, he asked me what I was so afraid of and has said he understands, but wished I wasn't and didn't have any reason to b. He asked if I was afraid things would change, or I would get hurt, then asked if I was afraid he would change, when I said yes, he said he couldn't b anyone but himself.

    I was just told tonight that he was wondering about a kiss and mixed signals, but that's all the info I got off someone else. I guess my real question is, is it ok to continue this way, or am I going to chase him away by taking awhile longer to kiss him!?!?!

  • #2
    If he truly loves and cares for you, he will wait until you're ready to kiss him. Love is patience. Don't kiss him out of fear that you'll chase him away. Affection should be mutual and never forced from either party. There needs to be compatibility in relationships otherwise there's always unhealthy conflict which is never good. Hope it works out for you. Also discuss how you feel at length with him. If he feels you are precious to him, he'll wait until it's the right time for both of you.
    "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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    • #3
      Thank you chanelle! We talked at length about it last night, and he told me I was a very important part of his life, he cared about me a lot and that i had so many great qualitys the fact that I'm scared isn't a big deal because that will eventually go away!

      I am however SERIOUSLY concerned with the timing.

      Although he has been unhappy in his relationship for a year or more, he and his babies mother split up only this past Oct. To make a LONG story short, I know for a fact that they will not be getting back together. However, even though he has pointed out the fact that he has had relationships with woman who r not all together, and was looking for someone like me a long time ago, but could never find any, probably because all the good ones where already snatched up (his words). He also stated that he doesn't know how someone could ever be cruel to me as I am so sweet. But the fact that it seems like he's went after woman who where a bit (crazy), makes me wonder if he could ever truly love someone like me, and he is just trying to b rational and do the right thing by his girls. Which is of course one of the reasons I like him, but with the timing, and not being his "type", I can't help but wonder if it is even possible for us!?!?!

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      • #4
        How long was his relationship with the mother of his children?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Healingpastturmoil View Post
          Thank you chanelle! We talked at length about it last night, and he told me I was a very important part of his life, he cared about me a lot and that i had so many great qualitys the fact that I'm scared isn't a big deal because that will eventually go away!

          I am however SERIOUSLY concerned with the timing.

          Although he has been unhappy in his relationship for a year or more, he and his babies mother split up only this past Oct. To make a LONG story short, I know for a fact that they will not be getting back together. However, even though he has pointed out the fact that he has had relationships with woman who r not all together, and was looking for someone like me a long time ago, but could never find any, probably because all the good ones where already snatched up (his words). He also stated that he doesn't know how someone could ever be cruel to me as I am so sweet. But the fact that it seems like he's went after woman who where a bit (crazy), makes me wonder if he could ever truly love someone like me, and he is just trying to b rational and do the right thing by his girls. Which is of course one of the reasons I like him, but with the timing, and not being his "type", I can't help but wonder if it is even possible for us!?!?!
          It's good that he said it wasn't a big deal regarding his willingness to wait until you're ready to kiss him. I wouldn't be concerned about timing since he reassured you, it's ok. Try not to panic. You both have time. What's the rush anyway?

          Beware of smooth talkers. They're charming as snakes and will tell you what you want to hear. It's true that many "catches" both male and female are "snatched up." If he said that about you, the same holds true for men. It's true that a lot of gems are "snatched up" quickly and unfortunately, just the crumbs are left in society - - sometimes! You sound sweet but be careful because those who are sweet are vulnerable and get taken advantage of. Those who are sweet are considered weak if they're preyed upon by wolves in sheep's clothing. I'm not saying your boyfriend is one but be careful not to rush into any relationship you might regret later. He still has responsibilities as a father so keep in mind, his mind is divided and split between his babies, his ex and you which can get messy and complicated. He has baggage and you need to ask yourself if you're willing to not always take top priority in his life. If you're not his "type" then listen to your gut and intuition because usually it's right on the mark (and accurate).
          "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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          • #6
            They where together for 3 years

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            • #7
              Thanks chanelle! I have been "weak" in the past and am just now beginning to learn how to be strong! I definitely am going to take my time before rushing into a relationship with him, I honestly wasn't even sure I was ready to be "together" as he put it, but it's only a label I suppose, and the fact that he put us out there as "together" (which I'm not even sure I know what that means), I suppose means I do mean more to him than my original thoughts!?!?!

              I have NO intentions on moving fast, (which is why i javnt kissed him yet)and am still "feeling him out" in the whole boyfriend area. We have a blast together, but that doesnt always mean ur supposed to be in a relationship with someone, and im just slowly" going with the flow", to see what happens!

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